Calling someone “fat” can be a hurtful insult. But why is that?
This question came up when a mother named Allison shared her story about a recent swimming trip with her children. When her daughter called her fat, 30-year-old Allison had a clever response, and her message is now spreading quickly online.
Allison Kimmey began dieting when she was just 14 years old. She managed to stay at a size two to four through graduate school, but it was tough, and she wasn’t happy. Three years ago, at age 27, Allison reached a size eight and realized she would be much happier if she stopped fighting against her weight gain.
To motivate herself, Allison started an Instagram account, @allisonkimmey, where she shares pictures and inspirational messages. Her body positivity spreads joy and encourages her followers, but her important message doesn’t always reach everyone.
**Me:** “Actually, everyone, every single person in the world has fat. But each of us has different amounts.”
**Her brother:** “Oh right! I have some to protect my big muscles! But you have more than me.”
**Me:** “Yes, that’s true. Some people have a lot, and others don’t have much. But that doesn’t mean one person is better than the other. Do you both understand?”
**Both:** “Yes, mama.”
**Me:** “So can you repeat what I said?”
**Them:** “Yes! I shouldn’t say someone is fat because you can’t just be fat, but everyone HAS fat, and it’s okay to have different fat.”
**Me:** “Exactly right!”
Not only did Allison want to teach her children how to talk to others, but she also felt it was important to spread the message that everyone is equal, no matter their body shape. Now, her post on Instagram has gone viral.
“If I shame my children for saying it, then I’m proving that it’s an insulting word and continuing the stigma that being fat is unworthy, gross, comical, and undesirable,” writes Allison.
I ruined my son’s wedding and don’t regret it! Am I wrong for doing it?
The transformation in my son’s behavior has been nothing short of startling. From a devoted husband and father, he morphed into someone unfaithful and neglectful.
This drastic change in demeanor coincided with the birth of my grandson, Tommy, who was born with Down syndrome.
To my surprise, my son, Mike, not only strained his relationship with Tommy’s mother, Jane, but he also chose to leave them altogether. Now, he’s preparing to tie the knot again.
As mothers, our responsibility is to motivate and support our children, a principle I stand by wholeheartedly. Thus, I believe my actions were justified, and I’ll provide you with the backstory to explain why.
Mike made the decision to marry at a young age when Jane, his then-girlfriend, revealed she was expecting a child. Jane, a captivating woman, won my heart with her girl-next-door charm, and I was pleased she became part of our family.
However, Tommy’s birth with Down syndrome posed challenges that strained Mike and Jane’s relationship. Mike’s infidelity led to their divorce, leaving Jane to care for Tommy alone.
Despite my willingness to support them, Mike showed no interest in his child or providing assistance. This lack of compassion shocked me, and my pleas for him to return or help Jane fell on deaf ears.
A surprising revelation came when my nephew Liam informed me that Mike was getting married again. I was taken aback, realizing I knew little about Mike’s current life.
It seemed he had convinced someone else to marry him, and I wasn’t even invited to the wedding. Concerned for Jane and Tommy, I requested the address from Liam and attended the ceremony.
As Mike spoke his vows, I walked in with Tommy on my hip, creating a memorable shock on Mike’s face. I took the opportunity to address him, introducing Tommy as his first “I did” and the family he abandoned.
I shared the painful details of Mike’s early marriage, Tommy’s birth, his infidelity, and his lack of financial support during the divorce. I wanted to caution his new fiancée about the situation she was entering.
Though disrupting the wedding may seem extreme, my intention was to impart a valuable lesson to Mike and prompt him to reconsider his actions. There is still hope for him to make things right for Tommy, either by rejoining our family or assuming financial responsibility.
Now, I seek your opinion: Was interfering with my son’s wedding a mistake, or was it a necessary step in guiding him towards a better path? I appreciate your understanding.
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