My lovely granddaughter gave me a cute garden gnome to make my yard more cheerful. But my nosy neighbor, who can’t stand a little fun, reported me to the HOA for “ruining” the look of the neighborhood. She thought she had won. Oh, how wrong she was!
Hello there! Come on in and take a seat. This old lady has a story that will make you laugh and maybe teach you something, too. Now, I know you might be thinking, “Oh no, not another story about lost love or cheating husbands.” But hold on! This story isn’t about my dear Arnold. Bless his heart; he’s probably up in heaven, flirting with his old crushes!
No, this story is about something that could happen to anyone.
So listen closely because Grandma Peggy is ready to share how a little garden gnome stirred up a lot of trouble in our quiet neighborhood.
But before we get into the details, let me describe where I live. Picture a cozy suburban paradise, where the streets are lined with maple trees and the lawns are greener than a leprechaun’s vest.
It’s the kind of place where everyone knows each other, and the biggest excitement is usually the latest gossip at Mabel’s Bakery.
Oh, Mabel’s Bakery! That’s where the real fun takes place.
Every morning, you’ll find a group of us old-timers, all nearing 80, sipping coffee and enjoying Mabel’s famous cinnamon rolls and croissants. The smell of fresh bread and the sound of laughter spill out onto the sidewalk, drawing people in like moths to a flame.
“Did you hear about Mr. Bill’s new toupee?” Gladys would whisper, her eyes sparkling with mischief.
“Land sakes, it looks like a squirrel took up residence on his head!” Mildred would reply, and we’d all laugh like a bunch of hens.
It’s a peaceful life filled with the simple joys of tending to my garden, sharing recipes, and, yes, the occasional bit of harmless gossip. Then one day, my granddaughter, sweet little Jessie, gifted me the cutest garden gnome I’d ever seen.
This little fella had a mischievous grin that could light up a room and a tiny watering can in his chubby ceramic hands.
“Gran,” Jessie said, her eyes sparkling, “I thought he’d be perfect for your garden. He looks just like you when you’re up to no good!”
I couldn’t argue with that. So, I found him a prime spot right next to my prized birdbath.
Little did I know, I’d just planted the seed for the biggest fuss our neighborhood had seen since Mr. Bill’s toupee blew off at the Fourth of July picnic.
“Oh, Peggy,” I muttered to myself as I stepped back to admire my handiwork, “you’ve outdone yourself this time.”
I had no idea how right I was.
Now, before we dive into the thick of it, let me introduce you to the thorn in my side—my neighbor, Carol, who’s also in her late 70s. Picture a woman who’s never met a rule she didn’t like or a bit of joy she couldn’t squash. That’s Carol for you.
She moved in two years ago, but you’d think she’d been appointed Queen of the cul-de-sac the way she carries on. Always peering over fences, measuring grass height with a ruler, and shooing kids away for no reason.
I swear, that woman’s got more opinions than a politician at a debate.
One afternoon, I was out tending to my petunias when I heard the telltale clip-clop of Carol’s shoes on the sidewalk. I braced myself for another lecture on the “proper way” to trim hedges.
“Well, hello there, Carol,” I called out, plastering on my sweetest smile. “Lovely day, isn’t it?”
Carol’s eyes narrowed as she surveyed my garden. “Peggy,” she said, her voice dripping with fake sweetness, “what on earth is that thing by your birdbath?”
I followed her gaze to my new gnome. “Oh, that’s just a little gift from my granddaughter. Isn’t he a darling?”
Carol’s nose wrinkled like she’d smelled something foul.
“It’s certainly unique. But are you sure it’s allowed? You know how particular our HOA is about maintaining the neighborhood’s aesthetic.”
My smile faltered. “Now, Carol, I’ve lived here for nigh on 40 years. I think I know what’s allowed and what isn’t.”
She raised an eyebrow. “If you say so, Peggy. I just wouldn’t want you to get into any trouble.”
As she clip-clopped away, I couldn’t shake the feeling that TROUBLE was exactly what she had in mind.
A week later, I found out just how right I was. There, stuffed in my mailbox like a dirty secret, was a letter from the HOA.
My hands shook as I tore it open, and let me tell you, what I read made my blood boil hotter than a pot of Arnold’s famous five-alarm chili. The letter said that my gnome was against the neighborhood rules and I had to remove it immediately.
“Violation notice?” I sputtered, reading aloud. “Garden ornament not in compliance with neighborhood aesthetic guidelines? Why, I oughta…”
I didn’t need to be Sherlock Holmes to figure out who was behind this. Carol’s smug face popped into my mind, and I could almost hear her nasally voice: “I told you so, Peggy!”
Now, some folks might’ve caved and removed the gnome, but not this old bird. No sir, I’ve got more fight than a cat in a bathtub.
I marched inside, pulled out my reading glasses, and dug up that HOA rulebook. If Carol wanted to play by the rules, then by golly, we’d play by ALL the rules.
I flipped through the pages until I found the section on garden decor. It stated that residents could have one decorative item in their front yard, as long as it didn’t exceed three feet in height. Well, my gnome was only two feet tall! So I was in the clear!
Feeling triumphant, I decided to send a response to the HOA. I crafted a letter detailing my findings and politely requested that they reconsider their stance on my delightful gnome. With a triumphant grin, I dropped the letter in the mail and waited.
As I flipped through page after mind-numbing page, a plan started forming. A devious, delicious plan that would teach Carol a lesson she wouldn’t soon forget.
“Oh, Carol,” I chuckled, “you’ve really stepped in it this time!”
For the next few hours, I was busier than a one-armed paper hanger. I pored over that HOA rulebook like it was the last novel on Earth. And boy, did I strike gold.
Turns out, our dear Carol wasn’t as perfect as she thought. Her pristine white fence? An inch too tall. That fancy mailbox she was so proud of? Wrong shade of beige. And don’t even get me started on her wind chimes… those things were about as welcome as a skunk at a garden party according to the noise ordinance.
With all this juicy information, I could hardly contain my glee. I carefully documented each of her violations and decided to send a little note to the HOA about them.
After all, if Carol wanted to poke her nose into my garden gnome business, I was more than happy to return the favor. “Let’s see how she likes it when the tables are turned!” I said to myself, giggling as I sealed the envelope and sent it off.
That night, I made myself a cup of chamomile tea and settled in for some well-deserved relaxation, eagerly anticipating the chaos that would unfold.
The next morning, I was up with the birds, perched by my window with a cup of coffee and my binoculars. At precisely 7:15 a.m., Carol’s front door opened.
What happened next was better than any TV show I’d ever seen. Carol stepped out, took one look at her lawn, and FROZE. Her mouth hung open. Then, she let out a screech that could’ve woken the dead.
“What in the name of all that’s holy?!” she shrieked, her voice hitting a pitch that made dogs howl three blocks away.
I nearly spilled my coffee laughing. “Oh, Carol, you ain’t seen nothing yet.”
It turned out that while I was busy gathering evidence against her, my friends from the neighborhood had come together to have a little fun of their own. They had all pitched in to cover Carol’s yard with colorful inflatable lawn decorations. Flamingos, unicorns, and even a giant inflatable Santa were now crowding her once-pristine lawn, turning it into a carnival of chaos.
As Carol stood there, mouth agape, I could barely contain my glee. She stomped around her yard, her indignation growing with each inflatable she spotted. I could practically hear her thoughts racing: “This is unacceptable! How could this happen?!”
Every squeal of outrage made me chuckle harder. “That’s right, Carol. Welcome to my world!” I whispered to myself, feeling like I had pulled off the greatest prank of all time.
I knew I had to see her reaction up close, so I grabbed my trusty hat and headed over to “help” her sort out her lawn situation. After all, I was a good neighbor, right?
As I toddled off, leaving Carol sputtering in my wake, I couldn’t help but feel a little proud. Some people never learn, but sometimes, a garden gnome can teach an epic lesson.
When I arrived at Carol’s yard, I could see her pacing back and forth, hands on her hips, looking more flustered than a cat at a dog show. “What am I going to do about this mess?” she muttered to herself, completely ignoring my cheerful greeting.
“Oh, Carol, dear!” I called out, trying to keep a straight face. “Need a hand with all these delightful decorations?”
She shot me a glare that could have melted ice. “This is not funny, Peggy!”
“Of course it is! Look at how festive it is now!” I giggled, trying to lighten her mood. I offered to help her deflate the colorful invaders, but secretly, I was loving every moment of this small victory.
As the day went on, we worked side by side, and I could see her beginning to calm down, despite her initial outrage. “Maybe it’s not so bad,” she finally admitted, a hint of a smile breaking through her stern facade.
And my little gnome? He’s still there by the birdbath, grinning away. Only now, I swear his smile looks just a little bit wider! It seems he’s not just a decoration anymore; he’s become a symbol of our neighborhood’s spirit, reminding us all to embrace a little fun and laughter, even in the face of a neighbor’s strict rules.
As I looked back at my garden, I felt a warmth in my heart, knowing that sometimes, a touch of whimsy can go a long way in softening even the hardest of hearts. And who knows? Maybe Carol will be inspired to add a little joy to her own yard next time!
Woman Helps to Deliver Neighbor’s Baby, Discovers Her Husband Is the Father — Story of the Day
A married woman comes to her neighbor’s rescue and helps her home-deliver her baby, only to discover that the father of the child is her own husband.
Sarah Harper had known Erica Vernon for over six years. The Vernons had moved in next door the same week as Sarah and her husband Kieran — both couples were newlyweds and they’d fallen into an easy friendship.
But within a year or two, Sarah realized the Vernons were in trouble. Lester Vernon seemed to be jealous and suspicious and made his poor wife’s life a living hell. Sarah pitied Erica, who was as faithful to her husband as she was to Kieran — or so Sarah thought.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Unsplash
Things became more and more unpleasant as time went on. The screaming fights from next door became more and more raucous, and the two couples stopped going out together.
Sarah would often see Erica looking weepy and unhappy, and even though Lester was always pleasant and polite to Sarah, he never gave her a chance to speak up for her friend.
One day Sarah ran into Lester at the supermarket and decided to take the bull by the horns. “Lester,” she said carefully, “I know it’s none of my business but I hate to see you two so unhappy. Have you thought about couple’s counseling? Erica loves you so much…”
Lester looked at her for a long moment, then he said, “Listen, Sarah, if I were you I wouldn’t defend Erica. You think she’s your friend, but she isn’t.” And with that, Lester turned his back and walked away.
Just three weeks later, Lester walked out on Erica, and Sarah was horrified to discover that her friend was three months pregnant. “But Erica, did you tell him?” Sarah asked.
The truth always comes out in the most unexpected ways.
Erica couldn’t stop crying. “I did, Sarah, but he said it wasn’t his, that I’d been cheating! I can’t have this baby on my own, I can’t!”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
Sarah raised her chin resolutely. “You won’t be! I promise you, Kieran, and I will be with you every step of the way!” Erica threw her arms around Sarah, sobbing with gratitude.
That evening, Sarah told Kieran what was happening next door. “I told poor Erica that we’d be with her, help her through her pregnancy.”
Kieran didn’t look the least bit thrilled. “Honestly Sarah, I wish you wouldn’t be so impulsive! It’s a huge responsibility, and I don’t even know that woman that well!”
“We’ve been living next door to her for six years, Kieran!” Sarah exclaimed. “She’s my best friend and I thought you liked her!”
“Not really,” Kieran said. “She’s OK, I guess, but she’s always been more your friend than mine.”
“Oh honey,” Sarah said tenderly, wrapping her arms around her husband’s neck and kissing him. “Please be nice to the poor girl, she has no one!” Cunningly, Sarah nibbled at the side of her husband’s neck, at a sensitive area he called his ‘lucky bump.’
For illustration purposes only | Source: Unsplash
“You minx,” Kieran growled. “You always know how to convince me!”
Sarah giggled and gave the ‘lucky bump’ a lick. “Your mom told me it’s the Harper men’s only weakness and I’d better take full advantage!” The rest of the evening ended in love-making, and Kieran agreed to help Erica as much as they could.
So it was Sarah who accompanied Erica to all her doctor’s appointments and her scans, to the nutritionist and to the Lamaze classes, and even to the natural childbirth course that promised to have mom and helpers ready to usher the baby into the world without medical help.
“Not that I intend to have this baby anywhere but a hospital with lots of painkillers!” Erica said. “But it’s good to be prepared!”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Unsplash
And it was a good thing too because one afternoon Erica phoned Sarah gasping. “Sarah, I think it’s time!” she cried. Sarah rushed over immediately and was shocked to find her friend in a pool of liquid.
“Your water has broken!” Sarah cried. “I’m calling the hospital.”
The hospital advised her that it would be at least half an hour if not more before the ambulance could be with them, so Sarah made Erica as comfortable as possible.
She noticed that Erica’s contractions were closer and closer together… She peeked and saw to her horror that the baby’s head was crowning! “Erica,” she cried, “the baby’s coming!”
“He can’t!” Erica screamed, clutching at her belly. “It’s supposed to take hours!”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
“Well,” Sarah said. “Ready or not, he’s on his way!” And she ran to get hot water, a warm blanket, scissors, and some cord. Kneeling by Erica’s spread knees, Sarah encouraged her to push.
Sarah watched breathlessly as the baby emerged from Erica’s straining body. She tenderly caught it and laid it on the soft blanket while she tied off and cut the umbilical cord — just like they had taught her at the natural childbirth class.
Then Sarah picked up the baby. “It’s a boy!” she cried to the exhausted Erica. “A beautiful, perfect baby boy!” Sarah started wiping the baby down gently, and she discovered that the baby wasn’t quite perfect.
On the side of his neck was a small hard bump, a familiar bump. A ‘lucky bump.’ Looking down at the tiny innocent creature in her hands Sarah suddenly understood it all.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Unsplash
“Lester…” she whispered. “Lester was right, wasn’t he, Erica? You were having an affair and it was with my husband.”
Erica gasped and tried to sit up. “Oh no, Sarah, never…”
“Don’t lie to me, I have the proof right here!” Sarah said raising the baby in her hands.
“Don’t hurt him!” screamed Erica. “Yes, he’s Kieran’s. We’ve been lovers for six years, I’ll tell you anything you want, but don’t hurt my baby!”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
“I would never hurt your baby, Erica,” Sarah said scornfully. “I’m not like you. I don’t destroy other people’s happiness.” Sarah put the baby in Erica’s arms and left her to wait for the ambulance on her own.
That night, when Kieran arrived home, he found the house empty and silent. Sarah left him without a word and filed for divorce. It took her a long time to learn to trust again, but a few years later Sarah met a wonderful man and remarried.
She is a happy woman, and she and her husband are now expecting their second baby.
What can we learn from this story?
- Sometimes the people we trust the most are the ones who betray us. Sarah never imagined that her best friend and her husband were betraying her.
- The truth always comes out in the most unexpected ways. Kieran and Erica never imagined the baby would have an inherited defect that would betray their cheating.
Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
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