
Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
Please share this story with your friends and family if you think it was funny.
MAN FINDS A SMASHED PHONE ON THE ROADSIDE — AFTER HE INSERTS THE SIM CARD INTO HIS OWN PHONE AND CALLS “DAUGHTER,” HE RUSHES TO HELP.

The morning sun glinted off the dew-covered grass as Alan hurried down the street, his heart pounding a frantic rhythm against his ribs. He had found an old, battered phone on the sidewalk, a relic from a bygone era. Curiosity had gotten the better of him, and he’d inserted the SIM card into his own phone. The call that followed had shattered his ordinary morning and thrust him into an unexpected role: rescuer.
“Julie, I’m coming to get you,” he had promised, his voice steady despite the tremor in his hands.
Now, standing in front of the apartment building, a wave of apprehension washed over him. What would he find inside? What kind of danger had befallen this little girl?
He cautiously knocked on the door, his knuckles white. Silence. He knocked again, louder this time. Still, no answer.
Worried, Alan called the police. While he waited, he tried to peer through the windows, but the blinds were drawn. He imagined the little girl alone in the apartment, scared and helpless.
Finally, the police arrived, two officers with stern faces and concerned eyes. They listened to Alan’s story, their expressions growing grimmer by the second. After a brief discussion, they forced the door open.
The apartment was small and sparsely furnished, a poignant picture of a life lived in simplicity. Dust motes danced in the single shaft of sunlight piercing through the grimy window. But it was the silence that was most unsettling, a heavy, suffocating silence that seemed to amplify the ticking of his own heart.
Then, he saw her. Julie, curled up on a threadbare rug, her face pale, her eyes wide with fear. She looked smaller, more fragile than he had imagined.
One of the officers knelt beside her, his voice gentle, “Julie? Are you alright?”
Julie, her voice barely a whisper, nodded slowly.
The police officers, after assessing Julie’s condition, contacted child services. Alan, feeling a strange sense of responsibility, stayed with Julie, offering her a comforting smile and a reassuring pat on the head. He bought her a small stuffed animal from a nearby convenience store, the bright colors a stark contrast to the gloom that had settled over the apartment.
As he watched the ambulance pull away, carrying Julie to the hospital, Alan felt a strange sense of purpose. He had stumbled upon a situation he never could have anticipated, but he knew he couldn’t walk away.
He spent the next few days making calls, trying to find any information about Julie’s mother. He contacted local hospitals, checked missing persons reports, and scoured social media for any clues.
The search proved to be frustrating. Julie, it turned out, had been living with her mother in a homeless shelter before they moved into the apartment. There was no record of any family members.
But Alan wasn’t going to give up. He visited Julie every day at the hospital, bringing her books, drawing supplies, and stories. He became a constant presence in her life, a beacon of hope in the midst of uncertainty.
The days turned into weeks, and Julie slowly began to open up. She told him about her mother’s dreams of finding a stable home, of providing a better life for her daughter. She spoke of her mother’s love for nature, her passion for painting, and her infectious laughter.
As Julie recovered, Alan began to investigate further. He visited the homeless shelter, spoke to the staff, and learned about the challenges faced by homeless families. He discovered a network of organizations dedicated to helping children in need.
He wasn’t just a programmer anymore. He was an advocate, a protector, a beacon of hope for a child who had lost her way. And as he watched Julie smile, her eyes sparkling with a newfound joy, he realized that sometimes, the most unexpected paths led to the most meaningful destinations.
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