Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
Please share this story with your friends and family if you think it was funny.
Flight Attendant Notices Baby Alone On The Plane, Is Shocked When Realising Why
In a recent flight, passengers were taken aback when they discovered a baby unaccompanied by any guardian, accompanied by a cryptic note urging: “Please take care of him”. Flight attendant Jesse, diligently searched for the baby’s parents to no avail. Even more perplexing, the baby’s name didn’t appear on the flight manifest, sparking concerns about how the infant ended up aboard the aircraft.
Swiftly, the airline alerted airport authorities, prompting a full-scale investigation by the police. Despite combing through CCTV footage and conducting extensive searches, the baby’s parents remained elusive. The flight’s medical team, meanwhile, diagnosed the baby with a fever, necessitating urgent medical attention upon landing. Rushed to the nearest hospital, the infant received the necessary treatment.
Medical professionals faced challenges in identifying the baby due to his absence from the passenger list. Deciphering clues from the note, authorities traced it to a remote residence where an elderly couple was interrogated. Subsequent DNA testing linked the couple to the child, revealing them as relatives.
After persistent questioning, the couple disclosed that their daughter, the baby’s mother, had entrusted them with his care due to her inability to do so herself. However, the identity of the baby’s mother remained undisclosed, leaving the elderly couple as his caregivers. This incident underscored the critical importance of vigilance in safeguarding children and promptly reporting any concerning occurrences.
The airline crew, medical staff, and law enforcement received commendation for their prompt response, ultimately saving the baby’s life and unraveling the mystery surrounding his identity. Nonetheless, numerous unanswered questions linger, and the investigation continues to unfold.
Leave a Reply