Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
Please share this story with your friends and family if you think it was funny.
What Might Happen to Your Body If You Start Sleeping Without a Pillow
The first pillows we know of date back to Ancient Mesopotamia. They were made of stone, and only wealthy people could afford them. Unlike ancient stone pillows, the ones we use today are soft and fluffy, and many people can’t sleep without hugging a big cozy pillow. But in fact, sleeping with a pillow may not be the best way to rest, as it can affect your body and your mood.
We at Bright Side understand that it can be difficult to part with your favorite pillow, but sleeping without it has many health benefits, and we did our research to introduce you to some of them.
1. It prevents back pain.
Many pillows can lead to an unnatural sleeping position and the support they provide doesn’t last long. Although the pillow itself won’t cause your back to hurt, it can worsen many of the underlying symptoms. When you sleep without a pillow, your spine can rest and your body is in its natural position.
2. It helps you to deal with neck pain.
Most pillows can’t help you sleep in the right position, and can even make sleeping postures worse. Bending your neck in any way for a long time will make you uncomfortable, and pillows that are too firm or too soft may lead to neck pain.
3. It combats headaches.
If you’re waking up with a headache or feeling light-headed, your pillow might be to blame. Pillows that are too high cause your head and neck to round forward, and they add more tension to the neck muscles. This might give you a headache in the morning once you’ve gotten out of bed.
4. It may alleviate stress.
If your pillow makes you uncomfortable at night, you might end up tossing and turning in your sleep. The more sleep disturbances you have, the less time your body has for many important functions that occur during sleep. Constant sleep deprivation can affect your mood and thinking skills, and will cause your body to release more stress hormones during the day.
5. It prevents facial acne.
Your skin will thank you for getting rid of your pillow. Your face is normally pressed on your pillow for most of the time during the night. You probably don’t wash your pillowcase every day, and it collects dirt, oil, and household dust on it. All of this can lead to breakouts, inflammation, and premature wrinkles.
6. It may be good for your hair.
If you’re waking up in the morning with dry and tangled hair, you might want to forgo your pillow for the sake of your locks. When you’re tossing and turning at night, your hair is rubbing against your pillowcase, causing it to break. Pillowcases can also absorb the oils from your hair, leaving it dry and brittle.
Disclaimer: Please remember that this article serves for informational purposes only. In order to get professional advice and a diagnosis, please see your doctor.
Do you sleep with or without a pillow? Have you noticed how it affects you?
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