A lot of big, tragic and important things have happened to this wonderful country of ours since April 2014. None of which I have covered. I was too busy writing about hungover parenting, ancient philosophy and my dog Colin.
Out of the 536 columns I have written, 27 were about that guy. Far too few. He is such a good boy, he deserves an article a week.
Today is the end of an era for me, and whenever these final events pop up in our lives, we can’t help but think about the ultimate end.
Everything we do, we will one day do for the last time. That’s why you have to enjoy things while they are around. It’s not just big events like leaving a job, house or loved one either. Whatever moment you happen to be in now, you will never get it back, and you don’t know how many more you have.
Everything we do in life, from eating pizza to spending time with the people we love, to driving, writing, drinking or breathing, we will one day experience for the final time. It might happen tomorrow. This can be either a depressing or an inspiring thought, depending on how you look at it.
A few years back in this column, I interviewed professor of philosophy William B Irvine, of Wright State University, Ohio, on this very topic. He put it this way on a Zoom call: “Recognition of the impermanence of everything in life can invest the things we do with a significance and intensity that would otherwise be absent. The only way we can be truly alive is if we make it our business periodically to entertain thoughts of the end.”
Today’s column is very meaningful to me because it is my last. Like the last night with a lover before she goes overseas. And just like a lover, there have been some half-arsed efforts put in from me over the years. Last week, for example, I spent 750 words moaning about how bad my cricket team is. But the truth is that any of my columns could have been the final. If I had reminded myself every week for the past 10 years that the end is inevitable, I may have been more grateful for having a column and appreciated writing them all as much as I am this one.
While everything we do could have more meaning with a focus on finitude, some things are inherently more worthwhile than others. There is no doubt my column “The pros and cons of wearing Speedos” from November 2022 was less meaningful than most things in this world. That was a waste of everyone’s time. So, if we only have so much time, how do we pick the best things to do?
Well, Oliver Burkeman, the author of Four Thousand Weeks – Time Management For Mortals, suggested this to me in a 2022 column: “Ask yourself, does this choice enlarge me? You usually know on some unspoken level if it does. That’s a good way to distinguish between options.”
With that in mind, I don’t feel great about my 2018 article on “New Zealand’s best hole”. That didn’t enlarge anyone.
There will be people reading this column right now who have loved my writing in the Herald and are sad to see it end. Others will have hated it and are glad to see me go. Many won’t have any opinion at all. But for those in the first camp, I have good news. I have a book coming out on May 28 called A Life Less Punishing – 13 Ways To Love The Life You Got (Allen and Unwin Book Publishers). It’s a deep dive into the history, philosophy and science of not wasting our time lost in anger, loneliness, humiliation, stress, fear, boredom and all the other ways we find to not enjoy perfectly good lives. It’s available for pre-order right now (google it if you’re interested).
A Life Less Punishing took me two years to write and is equivalent in words to 100 of these columns. Which would be a complete nightmare for those in the hate camp, but as I say, great news for those who want more.
Anyway, thanks to the Herald for having me, thanks to the lovely people who make an effort to say nice things to me about my column nearly every day and thanks to the universe for every single second we get.
Bless!
I Started Wearing “Terrible Wigs” at Work After They Banned My Pink Hair
A 29-year-woman was faced with a dilemma shortly after she took on a job offer. She was told she either had to cover up her pink hair or look for work elsewhere. She accepted the challenge and her amusing way of overcoming the restriction has gone viral.
Emily Benschoter turned to TikTok to share her journey at her new workplace, but with the twist that she can never show her pink hair while she’s on duty. She only found out the fact after she had already been interviewed and offered the position, a front-of-house role in the hospitality industry, because there was no prior contact with her employers in-person or over video chat during the hiring process.
Her manager then suggested she wore a wig and that’s when she decided to pick the funniest ones she could find. Her first TikTok video with the first wig went up on July 19, 2023, and it read: “When you have pink hair, but corporate does not approve, so you wear terrible wigs.”
Since then, people have become invested in her wig choices and her clips have been viewed millions of times. “The worse the wig, the better,” she admitted in an interview. “It is a way to open up the conversation with the customers who think it is insane that I have to cover my pink hair.”
In the same interview, Benschoter also took time to explain why she didn’t just simply dye her hair instead. “Dying my hair for a job I work at for 40 hours per week wasn’t an option,” she revealed. “I am a self-expressive person and I feel very confident with pink hair, so I came up with a solution to keep the job and my hair.”
Despite her having fun with the situation, she doesn’t approve of it. “It’s dehumanizing that I can’t be accepted at face value because my hair is a non-traditional color,” she said. “It’s so superficial that my hair color is an obstacle.”
As we’ve seen, job requirements when it comes to our physical appearance can be an issue for some. For a woman known as the “Dragon Girl,” it’s actually been an impossible task to overcome. Amber Luke chose to get over 600 tattoos to change her appearance, but now people refuse to employ her.
Preview photo credit emuhleeebee / TikTok, emuhleeebee / TikTok
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