After my son convinced me to live in a nursing home, I wrote letters to him daily telling him I missed him. He never replied to any of them until one day, a stranger shared why and came to take me home.
When I turned 81, I was diagnosed with Osteoporosis, which made it difficult for me to move around without assistance. My condition also made it difficult for my son Tyler and his wife Macy to take care of me, so they decided to move me to a nursing home.
“We can’t be tending to you the entire day, mom,” Tyler told me. “We have work to do. We’re not caregivers.”
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I wondered why he suddenly felt that way towards me, as I always tried to stay out of their way so I wouldn’t disrupt their daily schedules. I would stay in my room and use my walker to assist me whenever I needed to walk to another area of the house.
“I’ll stay out of your way, I promise. Just don’t send me to a nursing home, please. Your father built this house for me, and I’d love to keep living here for the rest of my life,” I begged.
Tyler shrugged me off, saying that the house my late husband James had built was “too big for me.”
“Come on, mom,” he said. “Leave the house to Macy and me! Look at all this space – we can have a gym and separate offices. There’s plenty of room to renovate.”
At this point, I understood that his decision to move me to a nursing home was not because he wanted me to get proper care but to get my house for himself. I was deeply hurt, trying to stop myself from crying upon realizing that somehow, Tyler had grown up to be a selfish man.
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“Where did I go wrong?” I asked myself when I got into my room that night. I thought I had raised a well-mannered man, but it seems I was wrong. I never expected to be betrayed by my son.
Without giving me much of a choice, Tyler and Macy took me to a nursing home nearby, where they said I’d get round-the-clock care from the nurses. “Don’t worry, mom, we’ll visit as much as we can,” Tyler assured me.
Hearing this, I realized that maybe moving to a nursing home wasn’t too bad because they’d come to see me anyway. Little did I know, Tyler was lying and simply trying to get me off his back.
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Every day at the nursing home seemed like an eternity. Although the nurses were friendly and the other patients were nice to talk to, I still longed to be with family and not in a place full of strangers.
Without a phone or tablet, I wrote letters to Tyler every day asking him to visit me or how they were doing. Not once did I get a response nor a visit.
After two years in the nursing home, I lost any hope of anyone coming. “Please, take me home,” I would pray every night, but after two years, I tried to convince myself not to get my hopes up anymore.
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One day, however, I was surprised to find out from my nurse that a man in his forties was at the counter, looking for me. “Did my son finally come to visit?” I said, getting my walker quickly before making my way to the front.
When I got there, I had a big smile on my face thinking it was Tyler, but to my surprise, it was another man I hadn’t seen in ages. “Mom!” he called out and gave me a tight hug.
“Ron? Is it you, Ron?” I asked him.
“It’s me, mom. How have you been? I’m sorry it took me so long to visit you. I just arrived back from Europe, and I went straight to your house,” he said.
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“My house? Did you see Tyler and Macy there? They put me in this nursing home a couple of years ago, and I haven’t seen them since,” I revealed.
Ron looked at me sadly and asked for me to sit down. We sat in front of each other on the couch, and he began to fill me in on what had happened in the past two years I was inside the nursing home.
“Mom, I’m sorry you have to hear this from me. I thought you already knew,” he started to say. “Tyler and Macy died in a house fire last year… I only found out when I went to your house and saw it abandoned. I decided to check the mailbox to see if I could get information on where to find you, and I saw all your unread letters,” he explained.
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I couldn’t believe what Ron was telling me. Although I felt resentment towards my son for what he did to me, hearing about his death still broke my heart. I cried that entire day, mourning him and my daughter-in-law Macy.
Throughout my crying, Ron never left my side. He consoled and stayed with me without saying a word until I was ready to speak again.
Ron was a boy I once took into my home. He and Tyler were childhood friends and were inseparable when they were younger.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Pexels
Unlike Tyler, who had everything he could possibly want, Ron lived in poverty and was raised by his grandmother after his parents passed away. I treated him like my own son, fed him, clothed him, and made him live with us until he moved out to study college in Europe.
After getting a high-paying job in Europe, Ron didn’t return to the US, and we eventually lost touch. I never thought I’d see him again until he showed up at the nursing home.
“Mom,” he said after I finally calmed down. “I don’t believe you belong here in this nursing home. Will you please allow me to take you home? I would love to take care of you,” he said.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Pexels
I couldn’t help but cry once more. My own son kicked me out of my house, and in front of me was a man who wanted to take me in, even though I wasn’t his blood relative. “Would you really do that for me?”
“Of course, mom. You don’t even have to ask that. You raised me to be who I am today. Without you, I’m nothing,” Ron said, hugging me.
That evening, Ron helped Jude pack her things and took her into his newly-purchased home. There, Jude discovered he had a large family, and they welcomed Jude warmly. She spent her last years in happiness, surrounded by people who truly loved her and cared for her.
What can we learn from this story?
Respect your elders and never forget what they’ve done for you. Tyler didn’t show appreciation to his mom despite everything she had done for him. He didn’t want the responsibility of taking care of her when she got older and chose to send her to a nursing home.
Family doesn’t always mean blood. Ron didn’t see Jude for years but never forgot about the kindness she showed him when he was younger. Ultimately, he decided to repay her kindness by taking her in and caring for her for the rest of her life.
Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
If you enjoyed this story, you might like this one about a son who visited his dad at a nursing home, only for the nurse to say that his carbon copy had taken the old man home a day before.
Psychologists Explain Things We All See in Dreams, and It’s Better Not to Ignore Them
Humankind has been trying to solve the mystery of dreams for as long as they’ve existed. Today there is even a special discipline in the study of dreams called oneirology. Those who prefer the esoteric side of things over science love to interpret their dreams according to various dream books and believe that they can predict the future. But psychologists think that dreams accurately reflect our current condition and that our subconscious tries to tell us something important via dreams from time to time.
We at Bright Side have learned that there are dreams that are common for all of us. Each of us sees these types of dreams every now and then. These dreams are caused by our ancient instincts, a cultural code, the experience of our ancestors, and personal experience. A psychologist and an expert in the field of dreams, Patricia Garfield, calls them “universal dreams” and says, “Like a hearty stew that is rich with local produce, the universal dreams differ among different peoples, but they are all nourishing variants of the same wholesome meal. They are as old as humanity and as widespread as our globe.”
1. Falling
In adulthood, we see falling more often than flying. According to the psychologist Ian Wallace, a dream about falling symbolizes the fear of losing control. You can’t control something in your life anymore because some drastic changes that you were not ready for took place in your life. Think about what sphere of life (work, relationships, finances, health, etc.) you feel most suppressed or vulnerable in as well as the ways to correct it.
Some scientists explain dreams about falling with simple physiology. As the body is sinking into sleep, the nerve system starts to calm down, your blood pressure and heart rate decrease and your falling asleep brain (especially if it was overwhelmed during the day) can perceive this physiological change as danger or an approaching death and therefore, makes you wake up suddenly.
The opposite version of this dream is flying which signifies freeing oneself from some hard burden and getting the desirable freedom.
2. Teeth that fall out and injuries
Our subconscious interprets teeth as an indicator of strength, and an ability to “bite off” a piece of the world. “Perhaps, you have recently been feeling unarmed and helpless in the real world,” Penney Peirce explains.
Patricia Garfield, another expert who’s studied dreams for many years, connects dreams about teeth falling out with hidden anger. As a rule, when we suppress anger, we clench our jaw, and our teeth might start to creak and grind. This dream might be signaling that it’s high time to get rid of negative feelings.
We often have dreams where someone close to us is wounded or sick. Those dreams cause consternation; however, from psychology’s point of view, things are not that bad. It’s simply our fears of the future and inevitable changes with those close to us. If you see your own death, it means that some part of you is dying and staying in the past to give space to something new.
“Opposite” dreams about birth and recovery usually appear when something new is taking place in a person’s life (like a new job or project) and symbolize a new experience.
3. Failure at an exam or public performance
You’re about to take an exam and suddenly realize that you don’t remember anything or you can’t say a word when standing in front of a big crowd. These dreams might be experienced not only by students and school kids but also by people who have graduated a long time ago. It’s likely that you had some stress shortly before going to sleep or was extremely worried about something. In this case, it’s better to take a short break and relax.
4. Being chased or persecuted
Such dreams have several different meanings. An expert in the field of dreams named Lauri Loewenberg says, “People that tend to avoid conflict, who are afraid of ruffling feathers or causing issues will have the recurring dream of being chased.”
Pay attention to the thing chasing you — they symbolize an unpleasant feeling or situation that you try not to think about in real life. It can be debt or addiction. Are you chased by a person you know? Think about what or who you associate this person with. They might indicate some other person or even a part of your personality that you don’t want to admit (like a hidden talent or aspiration) in your dream.
There’s also a theory saying that dreams about running away from someone are simply the echoes of primitive instincts that are in our genes thanks to our ancestors. All because they were constantly running from predators.
5. Inappropriate clothes or an absence of any
In your dream, you turn up in a public place wearing inappropriate clothes or not wearing anything at all. In this situation, it’s important to pay attention to the feelings you encountered in your dream. These dreams are usually followed by a feeling of shame and embarrassment.
Psychologist Ian Wallace notes, “It means that you feel vulnerable at your new job or in your new relationship and are afraid that others will learn about your weaknesses and disadvantages.” However, if you don’t feel any shame in your dream but instead feel proud of yourself, the dream has the opposite meaning. Perhaps you feel a lack of recognition and admiration and would like others to see your talents as well as your personality more.
6. A catastrophe or an apocalypse
We’ve all dreamed about natural or man-made disasters where we’re scared for our own lives and the lives of those close to us. These dreams might indicate personal problems that have gotten out of control or are a result of feeling threatened by something. Of course, constant messages in the media about catastrophes and terrorist acts worsen the situation. As a result, we start feeling vulnerable in the modern world.
Sometimes, when having a nightmare, we try to shout out loud but feel that our voice has left us, which causes an even bigger fear. Psychologists explain it as sleep paralysis. During the last phase of sleep, when we have dreams, our brain purposefully paralyzes the body so that we can lie still and not “live” in our sleep by running, jumping, etc. People who have sleep paralysis usually wake up before the end of the last phase and enter a state between sleep and reality for a short period. This can be felt as an inability to move, speak, and, in some cases, breathe.
7. Faulty equipment or vehicles
You try to use some gadget or device, and it breaks right away. For example, your phone stops working, and you can’t call anyone. According to Patricia Garfield, these dreams are more often experienced by women and symbolize worries about relationships or losing an emotional connection with someone.
Dreams in which you’re trying to operate a vehicle that doesn’t work properly or breaks down are in the same category. You are likely missing support and can’t cope with a difficult life situation by yourself.
8. Pregnancy
As strange as it might sound, it’s not only women who can have dreams about pregnancy. A psychologist name David Bedrick says, “Pregnancy symbolizes something new growing inside us.” You subconsciously dream about “giving birth” to a new fascinating creative project. It can be anything from writing a book to repairing a house. It’s time to set a goal and show the world how you can take on this new role.
If you’re not pregnant in real life, you may be seeking fulfillment after having such a dream.
9. Being late
Dreams that have you running after a departing train or running late for an important meeting can occur quite often. According to a dream expert, Michael R. Olsen, they can symbolize the fear of missing out on something very important in your relationships or in the upbringing of your child, for example. If you’re constantly overwhelmed and don’t have much time to accomplish things in real life, your subconscious is signaling that it’s time for you to reconsider your schedule and free up time for really important things.
10. An unknown room
Dreams about new rooms are about self-knowledge. If you find yourself in an unknown house in your dream, it means that you don’t know yourself well and try to neglect some sides of your character. A separate unfamiliar room symbolizes that you have a hidden talent, skill, or opportunity that you don’t use.
A psychotherapist named Eddie Traversa thinks that we subconsciously associate some rooms with certain processes. A kitchen is a place where products get transformed into a finished dish which means that you’re currently going through some inner changes. A bathroom is a symbol of freeing oneself from unnecessary baggage. It might symbolize that it’s time to get rid of something that is not needed any longer. A bathroom is a symbol of cleansing and it means that you feel the necessity to clarify things or see them in a different light. A bedroom signifies the things that worry you in your romantic relationship.
Have you ever experienced any of these dreams or do you usually see something different? Please tell us about it in the comments!
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