Melanie Griffith’s life has been quite a rollercoaster. The iconic actress, daughter of actress Tippi Hedren, made her debut on the screen at age 12 – and since then, she’s starred in several big productions.
While Melanie Griffith’s career kept rolling, her private life was very much in focus. She’s been married three times – including to Antonio Banderas – been in rehab, and raised three children.
Melanie Griffith’s children from her first two marriages – Alexander Bauer and Dakota Johnson – had a pretty rough upbringing, especially considering that they had to go through having a mother who was in a terrible place at the time…
Melanie Griffith really had something in the ’80s. She was erotic and sexual in a way that European actresses sometimes are and American actresses almost always are not. And she could act, even though I don’t think Melanie ever truly realized her potential.
I loved her in the movie Working Girl and Paradise!
She was born on August 9, 1957, in New York City to parents Peter Griffith and superstar actress Tippi Hedren, most commonly known for her role in the Hitchcock classic, The Birds.
In hindsight, Griffith’s life has been rather incredible. However, it’s been tragic at the same time. The famous actress, who became known for playing strong-but-sexy characters, has been involved in a car accident, battled with drinking problems, and went through three divorces.
From the start of her life, she was exposed to the pressure of a life in show business. Her mother, Tippi, was, as mentioned, a superstar, and her childhood was extravagant in a very special way – even by Hollywood standards.
When Griffith was seven years old, her mother married agent and producer Noah Marshall. After coming back from a trip to Africa, the couple decided to make a film about lions. An animal trainer gave them a unique idea: to get to know the big cat better, they could welcome one into their home.
So, Melanie Griffith grew up with a pet lion, living with them in the 1970s at their home in Los Angeles, California.
”I grew up with lions, tigers, and two elephants,” Griffith said.
The pet lion, Neil, lived together with the family. Life Magazine documented the extraordinary event, with pictures showing Hedren resting on Neil’s back. The lion even slept under blankets in Melanie Griffith’s bed.
”It was stupid beyond belief,” Griffith later explained.
Even though she wasn’t involved in any incidents with Neil, years later, in another encounter, things didn’t end that well.
Met Don Johnson at 14
Melanie Griffith starred in her first commercial before she turned one. She continued to do commercials and modeling work for some years, and at 12, she made her debut in Extra!, even though she was uncredited.
At the age of 14, she appeared in The Harrad Experiment, and on set, she met her first big love. Griffith met actor Don Johnson on set, and the two fell madly in love. At the time, however, their age difference was somewhat controversial. Don Johnson was 22 at the time – eight years older than Melanie – but their love for one another didn’t stop them.
”I thought he was the most beautiful person I’d ever seen,” Griffith said.
Her mother feared for the two because of her age but eventually gave in. At 15, Melanie Griffith moved in with Don Johnson, and on her 18th birthday, the two got engaged.
”They were two beautiful, wonderful people, and here, my daughter was showing signs that I had never seen before in her, with an older man, and there was just sheer panic,” her mother, Tippi Hedren, recalled.
Griffith and Johnson tied the knot in Las Vegas in 1976. And, after just six months of marriage, the two split. However, they would rekindle their romance later on, exchanging vows a second time in 1989.
Melanie Griffith lion accident
Melanie Griffith started her promising acting career in the 1970s, starring in films such as Night Moves and Joyride.
In 1981, Melanie Griffith starred in the film Roar. Even though her mother and stepfather raised lions to shoot a film, things turned out ugly on the set of Roar. It was very dangerous being in front of the camera, and Melanie got injured.
She was mauled near the eye, and she feared losing her sight. She needed plastic surgery, while her mother Tippi Hedren contracted gangrene and needed skin grafts, according to a piece in the New Yorker.
As reported by The Guardian, Melanie Griffith said that the lioness ”didn’t mean to hurt me. Just, after seven years growing up with the lions, I forgot you have to be careful. You can never be sure you’re safe, and just a blow can pop your head like a ping pong ball.”
Melanie Griffith came through the scary incident. She continued to star in movies, however, without any live wild animals. She appeared in Body Double, Something Wild, and The Working Girl, among others, with the last one earning her an Academy Award nomination in 1989.
In the 1980s, Melanie Griffith also found love for the second time. She married actor Steven Bauer in 1981, and four years later, they welcomed a son, Alexander Bauer.
Melanie Griffith – daughter Dakota Johnson
Their relationship lasted until 1989 when the couple divorced – with Griffith finding love in Don Johnson again. They divorced again in 1996, after welcoming daughter and now actress Dakota Johnson in 1989.
”You have to understand that we have a tie, and I love him,” Melanie Griffith said and added:
”I will always love [Don Johnson]. But just because you love someone doesn’t necessarily mean that you can live with them.”
Dakota Johnson has become a prominent actress, starring in Fifty Shades of Grey and The Social Network. But because her parents divorced when she was only seven years old, she had a turbulent childhood. She moved around plenty, went to several different schools, and was even homeschooled for a while.
She was often hanging around her parents on film sets from a young age. It made her want to become an actress as well, which she did.
However, the childhood of Dakota Johnson was also filled with much trouble because of her family situation. As a result, she started to go to therapy at age three.
“The whole shebang,” Dakota Johnson told Vogue. “All the help you can get.”
Melanie Griffith – marriage to Antonio Banderas
”I was so consistently unmoored and discombobulated, I didn’t have an anchor anywhere, I never learned how to learn the way you’re supposed to as a kid. I thought, ‘Why do I have to go to school on time? What’s the point when you’re living in Budapest for six months while your stepdad films Evita and you go to school in your hotel room?’ I was a disaster, and I thought for so long that there was something wrong with my brain. Now I realize that it just works in a different way.”
Dakota Johnson’s childhood could’ve become the thing that put her on the wrong foot. However, a new person soon entered her life, who changed everything. Just as she mentioned, she needed an anchor. And that was precisely what she got in her stepfather, Antonio Banderas.
In 1996, the same year as Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson split, Banderas also went through a divorce with Ana Leza, whom he’d been married to for nine years. He had long admired Melanie Griffith after seeing her in Gone Girl and on the red carpet at the Academy Awards.
“The first time I went to the Academy Awards after we got a nomination for Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown, we got on the red carpet, and I saw this blonde woman, and I knew her because I saw movies of her, but I didn’t remember [her name] at the time,” Banderas told Vulture.
“So, I said to [director Pedro Almodóvar] ‘Who is she? Who is she? What is her name?’ Pedro said, ‘That’s Melanie Griffith!’ I said, ‘That’s it. Oh my God.’ Six years later, I was married to her.”
Dakota Johnson’s relationship with stepfather Antonio Banderas
The two met while filming the comedy film Two Much in 1995, and they had one actual thing in common. Both were unhappy in their marriages – and Banderas and Griffith recognized each other’s situations.
Antonio Banderas instantly felt an attraction to Melanie Griffith when working together. He thought she was funny, generous, sweet, and beautiful, and after Two Much, the two stayed in touch. In May 1996, the two tied the knot and welcomed daughter Stella later the same year.
Not only did Antonio Banderas become a father to Stella, but the well-respected actor also became a stepfather to Alexander – from her second marriage to Steven Bauer – and Dakota Johnson.
For both Alexander and Dakota, Antonio Banderas became vital, as they finally got a stepfather who was there for her all the time.
In the beginning, however, Banderas explained that it was difficult for the children to accept him because they didn’t know how long he’d stick around.
“I was totally inexperienced. Suddenly I had a 6-year-old girl, a 10-year-old boy, and Stella came along almost immediately,” he told AARP. “I was, ‘Oh, my God!’ But as soon as the kids knew that I was there to stay, they were fine. They needed solid ground in which they could grow. As soon as I realized that, I started establishing my relationship, giving them security, little by little doing the father thing.”
Changed Dakota Johnson’s life
Dakota and Alexander realized that Antonio Banderas was not a temporary man. He took on the role of their stepfather and helped them in any way possible.
For Dakota, this was especially important. Her childhood had been more than stressful and uncertain. In Banderas, she got a stepfather that taught her many things, including “true passion and discipline.”
In 2011, he revealed that the kids call him “Paponio, “which is a mix of “Papa” and “Antonio.”
During an award ceremony in 2019, when Antonio Banderas received the Hollywood Actor Award, Dakota Johnson and Melanie Griffith presented him with the trophy.
”I come from a family of many a marriage, and I got very lucky,” Johnson said in her speech.
”I got a bonus dad who I realized that, over time, is actually one of the most influential people in my whole life. When I was six years old, my mother married a man who brought an unbelievably bright light, a whole new world of creativity and culture, and one remarkably magical little sister into our family.”
”He loved my mother, and my siblings and I so big, and so fiercely and so loud, that it would change all of our lives together,” Dakota added in her speech.
Strong bond to this day
The relationship between Antonio Banderas and his stepchildren continued to be strong even after he and Melanie Griffith divorced in 2014.
Even though Melanie Griffith and Antonio aren’t married anymore, their family bond will forever be strong. As of today, Banderas is in a relationship with Nicole Kimpel. But as soon as he is in Los Angeles, he makes sure to spend time with his stepchildren and ex-wife.
The divorce between the two in 2014 wasn’t dramatic at all, for which his stepchildren were very grateful, Banderas explained.
He added that he will always cherish the time he and Melanie had together – and that he always will love her. And regarding his stepdaughter, Dakota Johnson, he is like her biological, very proud father.
“I remember those years as very effervescent and really beautiful. I am not married with Melanie anymore, but she is my family. She is probably one of my best friends, if not the best friend that I have. My family is there, Dakota [Johnson], Little Estella and Alexander,” Antonio Banderas told Vulture in 2019.
”I met her when she was five years old,” he added. “I followed every single step of it. I’m so proud of her. I saw her the other day in Toronto, and she looks — as I said in the social networks when I put a picture of her and myself, I put there, ‘My radiant Dakota.’”
Melanie Griffith today
At 65, Melanie Griffith is happily single. Her last appearance on the big screen was in 2020, when she had a minor role and co-starred alongside her daughter Dakota in The High Note.
Today, she devotes her time to her family, and according to BestLife, Melanie is currently writing her memoir. And there will probably be a lot to pen down – including her battle against cancer.
The actress was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma in 2010, and eight years later, she revealed that she had been diagnosed with cancer.
Doctors had to remove a cancerous cell on her nose, the whole event took a toll on Melanie.
“It’s a scary thing when you’re an actress and you depend on your face for work,” the actress told InStyle and continued:
“But I realize I have to put a Band-Aid on it, and it’s fine. I just look like a dork.”
Luckily, everything went fine in the end – Melanie is now a loud advocate of cancer and also supports the efforts of Children’s Hospital Los Angeles.
You can say what you want about Melanie’s looks and her turbulent life, but she does seem to have a really sweet soul!
How to Recognize Sneaky Narcissistic Traits in Mothers
Narcissism is a phenomenon in which a person with low self-esteem is afraid of losing authority in the eyes of others, and they begin to manipulate their friends, colleagues, and family to appear better than they really are. These people are so determined. We decided to imagine what it’s like to have your beloved mother like this.
They have a distorted perception of love and achievement, making it nearly impossible for them to make you feel good enough.
Their self-worth hinges on external validation and a facade of perfection. This creates a moving target for your worth in their eyes. You can achieve great things, but their praise might be laced with criticism, or they might simply shift the goalposts to a new, unattainable standard. This leaves you perpetually striving for an unachievable level of approval.
Additionally, their happiness is often transactional. They dole out affection when it suits them, leaving you confused about what truly earns their love. This inconsistency fosters insecurity and self-doubt, making you question your own value no matter what you accomplish. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s inability to offer genuine, unconditional love creates a core belief that you’ll never be good enough, regardless of your efforts.
Narcissistic mothers won’t let their kids’ successes overshadow their own.
Narcissistic mothers crave attention and view their children’s achievements through a distorted lens. While they might brag about their child’s successes superficially, they can’t handle being outshined. This stems from a deep insecurity and a fragile sense of self. Their child’s triumphs become a threat, rather than a source of pride. They may downplay the accomplishment, subtly criticize, or even try to one-up their child with their own past glories, all to maintain a sense of superiority.
She’s only worried about her own problems.
A narcissistic mother’s world often revolves around herself, leaving little room for her child’s emotions or experiences. Their own needs for validation and admiration take priority. They struggle to empathize with their child’s struggles, viewing them as inconveniences or attention-grabbing tactics. This is because the narcissist lacks the emotional maturity to see their child as a separate being with valid feelings. Their child’s problems become burdens to be managed, rather than opportunities for connection and support.
These mothers humiliate their children.
There are a couple of reasons why narcissistic mothers might resort to humiliating their children. One is to maintain control. By publicly criticizing, mocking, or exaggerating their child’s flaws, the mother keeps them feeling insecure and dependent. This fragile self-esteem makes the child less likely to challenge the mother’s authority or seek independence.
Another reason is to bolster the narcissist’s own fragile ego. Putting their child down creates a clear hierarchy where the mother is always superior. This can be especially pronounced if the child shows any potential to outshine the mother, triggering a need to cut them down to size. Ultimately, the humiliation serves the narcissist’s own needs for power and self-importance, leaving the child feeling emotionally bruised and diminished.
She makes kids feel guilty for getting something.
Narcissistic mothers often induce guilt in their children for receiving gifts or achieving success because it reinforces their own sense of control. They might make comments like, «You don’t deserve this, there are others who need it more,» implying the child is selfish for wanting something good. This guilt trip serves a few purposes.
Firstly, it keeps the child feeling indebted and obligated to please the mother. Secondly, it deflects attention away from the mother’s inability to be genuinely happy for her child’s good fortune. Ultimately, by making their child feel guilty, the narcissistic mother manipulates the situation to maintain the focus on themselves and their emotional needs.
She thinks she always deserves the best.
A narcissistic mother’s belief in her own deservingness stems from a distorted sense of self-importance. Deep down, she craves admiration and validation, and views herself as superior to others. This inflated ego convinces her that she deserves the best in life, regardless of her actions or contributions. It’s a constant need to be seen as special and entitled.
This sense of entitlement can manifest in various ways, from expecting lavish gifts and unwavering support to feeling justified in cutting in line or bending the rules. For a narcissistic mother, the «best» isn’t just about material possessions, but also about the constant flow of attention, praise, and control that reinforces her grandiosity.
Her love is unstable. When she needs something, she’s kind. When she doesn’t, she’s rude.
Narcissistic mothers often exhibit a transactional kind of love, where affection is dangled like a carrot. When their needs are unmet, their self-absorption takes center stage. They might become critical, dismissive, or even cold towards their child. Conversely, when they require something — maybe errands run, emotional support, or a public image boost — the kindness faucet turns on.
This emotional inconsistency leaves the child confused and insecure. They never quite know what version of their mother they’ll encounter, creating a constant state of walking on eggshells to avoid the unpredictable shift from loving to cold.
She cares too much about how other people see her.
A narcissistic mother craves external validation and uses how others perceive her as a mirror for her fragile self-esteem. Her self-worth hinges on admiration and a cultivated image of perfection. This makes her hyper-aware of how others view her, particularly in her role as a mother. She might brag excessively about her child’s accomplishments, not necessarily out of pride, but to reflect well on her own parenting skills.
Conversely, any perceived shortcomings in her child become a threat to her image. She might downplay their achievements or even criticize them publicly to maintain a facade of control and superiority in the eyes of others. Ultimately, the well-being and genuine connection with her child become secondary to managing the public perception of a perfect mother and family.
She complains about people that do something against her will.
Narcissistic mothers view any challenge to their control as a personal attack. Their rigid sense of self-importance dictates that things should go their way. When someone, especially their child, dares to act independently or disagree, it triggers a deep sense of entitlement being violated. They may lash out by complaining excessively, playing the victim, or attempting to manipulate the situation back to their desired outcome.
These complaints serve a dual purpose: firstly, to punish the person for disobeying, and secondly, to garner sympathy or support from others, further reinforcing their position of authority. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s complaints about those who defy her are less about the specific action and more about maintaining a power dynamic where she remains in control.
Narcissistic mothers are jealous of their daughters’ beauty. And they pretend to be caring.
A narcissistic mother’s insecurity can turn a daughter’s blossoming beauty into a source of hidden jealousy. They may outwardly offer compliments laced with backhanded remarks, like «You look pretty, but maybe try a different shade of lipstick.» This thinly veiled criticism undermines the daughter’s confidence while maintaining a facade of caring.
Deeper down, the mother might feel threatened by her daughter’s youthful beauty, a stark reminder of her own fading youth and potential loss of attention. This jealousy can manifest in various ways, from sabotaging the daughter’s attempts to dress up for an event to subtly comparing her looks to others. The narcissistic mother’s mask of concern hides a desire to control the narrative, ensuring her daughter’s beauty doesn’t overshadow her own.
She criticizes a lot but almost never gives praise.
Narcissistic mothers often fall into a harsh critic pattern for a few reasons. Firstly, their self-worth is fueled by a need for control and a sense of superiority. Constant criticism keeps their child feeling insecure and dependent, less likely to challenge their authority. Secondly, genuine praise can feel threatening to a narcissist. If their child is successful or confident, it might overshadow the mother’s own perceived importance.
Instead of celebrating their child’s achievements, they might downplay them or even resort to nitpicking flaws. Ultimately, the lack of praise becomes a tool for manipulation. By withholding validation, the narcissistic mother keeps her child striving for approval, a dynamic that reinforces her own sense of power and control.
They’re angry if someone else is in the spotlight.
A narcissistic mother thrives on being the center of attention. Their fragile self-esteem craves constant validation and admiration. When someone else, especially their child, receives praise or recognition, it’s perceived as a direct threat. This triggers a surge of anger because it disrupts their carefully curated image of superiority. They might downplay the other person’s accomplishment, subtly criticize them, or even try to steal the spotlight back to themselves with tales of their own past glories.
This anger isn’t about protecting their child, but about protecting their own inflated sense of self-importance. They can’t bear to share the spotlight, and their reaction reflects a deep-seated insecurity that can leave their child feeling confused and emotionally neglected.
Narcissistic mothers might constantly remind you of the things they’ve done for you.
One is to create a sense of obligation and guilt. By replaying a litany of sacrifices and favors, they make you feel indebted, making it harder to disagree with them or assert your independence. It’s a way to control you through emotional manipulation. Another reason is to inflate their own sense of importance.
Recounting their «good deeds» reinforces their narrative as the selfless caregiver deserving of constant praise and gratitude. Ultimately, these constant reminders are about them, not you. It’s a tactic to maintain power within the relationship and ensure you remain focused on their needs rather than developing your own sense of self.
These narcissistic traits can take a toll. But there’s good news! Our next piece dives into how these experiences shape you, and what you heal from it.
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