According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
Woman Sees Her Missing Husband’s Signature Dress Pattern on a Stranger – The Truth Is Haunting
This Halloween was the first one Kate’s daughter would celebrate without her father. Kate was still struggling to cope with her husband’s disappearance. But seeing her daughter smile brought her joy and helped her forget her sadness. However, her heart raced when she spotted a little girl wearing the same dress Carl used to make.
As Halloween approached, the autumn air was crisp and refreshing. Leaves crunched beneath feet outside, and the neighborhood was slowly changing into a festive and spooky place.
Outside her warm home, Kate worked hard on decorations, wanting everything to be just right for her daughter, Holly.
The lawn was already a mix of decorations — plastic bats, fake cobwebs, and glowing pumpkins.
Kate stood on a stool, carefully hanging up the bats while Holly followed her, bringing her own decorations.
Holly’s excitement made Kate smile, but the little girl had her own ideas about Halloween. Holly didn’t really understand what “spooky” meant.
Instead of creepy decorations, she carried her favorite pink dolls and a soft teddy bear, arranging them neatly on the front porch next to the jack-o’-lanterns.
Kate watched with amusement as Holly lined up her toys. She admired her daughter’s creativity but knew it was time to explain once again what Halloween was all about.
“Sweetheart,” Kate began softly, “Halloween is supposed to be spooky, not cute.”
She smiled gently, realizing she had said this many times, but Holly was only five — she had her own ideas.
Holly looked up at her mother with big, curious eyes.
“But why, Mommy? Why does it have to be spooky?” she asked, clutching her beloved teddy bear.
Kate chuckled softly as she stepped down from the stool.
“Well, that’s just how Halloween works,” she explained patiently.
“It’s a time when people dress up in costumes and pretend to be scary, just for fun. But it’s okay if we make it a little cute too.”
Holly still seemed unsure, her brows furrowed in thought. But after a moment, she nodded and shrugged.
“Okay, Mommy.” Then her face lit up. “Can I wear the costume Daddy made me last year?” she asked, her eyes sparkling with excitement.
Kate’s heart tightened at the mention of Carl, her husband who had vanished six months ago.
It felt like a punch to the stomach, wiping the smile from her face.
For a moment, she froze, her hands shaking slightly as she reached for a bat decoration.
“No, sweetheart,” Kate said softly, her voice catching in her throat.
“I’ll make you a new costume this year.”
“But I liked Daddy’s costume,” Holly protested, her voice filled with disappointment.
“Do you think he’ll come back for Halloween?” she added innocently.
The question hung heavily in the air. Kate’s heart ached, but she forced a smile, kneeling to Holly’s level and brushing a strand of hair from her face.
“I don’t think he’ll be back, darling,” Kate said gently but sadly.
The pain of not knowing what had happened to Carl never left her, but she had to be strong for Holly.
Later that evening, the excitement in the air was almost tangible.
Kate knelt before Holly, making sure her daughter’s new costume was perfect.
Holly could hardly stand still, her small feet bouncing with anticipation, her candy bucket gripped tightly in one hand.
“Hold still for just one more second, sweetie,” Kate said with a smile, adjusting the hood of Holly’s cape to make sure it fit just right.
“Do you have everything? Your bucket, your flashlight, your cape — is everything ready?”
“Yes, Mom!” Holly replied, her voice bubbling with excitement. She tugged on her mother’s sleeve impatiently.
“Can I please go now? My friends are waiting!”
Kate couldn’t help but laugh at Holly’s eagerness. The pure joy on her daughter’s face was contagious, and for a moment, all the worry and sadness Kate felt about Carl’s disappearance melted away.
“Alright, go on,” she said, pulling Holly in for a quick hug before letting her go. “Be safe and have fun.”
Holly flashed a wide, bright smile, her eyes shining with excitement, before running off to join her friends.
A small group of kids, all in colorful costumes, was waiting at the end of the street, their laughter echoing in the night.
Kate watched Holly as she disappeared into the crowd, feeling joy at seeing her daughter so happy.
With a contented sigh, Kate turned back toward the house and began preparing a big bowl of candy for the trick-or-treaters who would soon come.
Before long, the doorbell rang, and the familiar chorus of “Trick or treat!” filled the air.
Kate greeted each group of kids with a warm smile, dropping candy into their eager buckets and laughing at their colorful costumes.
But then, a little girl appeared on the doorstep, and Kate’s smile froze.
The girl wore a cute little coat with a bouncy cape, and for a moment, Kate’s breath caught in her throat.
The costume looked so familiar — too familiar. It was just like the ones Carl used to make. The same fabric, the same details, and the same bouncy cape.
Kate’s mind raced back to when Carl would sit at the sewing machine, working on costumes for Holly and explaining how to make the cape float just right.
“That’s a beautiful costume you have, sweetheart,” Kate said, her voice trembling as she tried to keep her emotions in check.
“Where did you get it?”
The little girl smiled up at her.
“My father made it! Do you like it?”
Kate’s heart raced. “Yes,” she replied, her voice barely above a whisper.
“It’s beautiful… and the cape is bouncy, isn’t it?”
The girl nodded eagerly.
“My father says it’s better this way.”
Kate was stunned. Could it be? No, it couldn’t. Carl had been missing for so long.
This had to be a coincidence… right? But no matter how much she tried to convince herself, something deep inside wouldn’t let it go.
Unable to stop herself, Kate leaned down and gently asked the little girl,
“Would you mind showing me where your house is? I’d love to ask your father how he made that costume. Maybe he can help me make one for Holly.”
The girl smiled, her innocence shining through.
“Sure! I live just a few streets away,” she said, pointing in the direction of her home.
Kate’s heart raced as soon as she closed the door behind the girl. She couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something more to this.
Could it really be Carl? After all these months, was he just a few streets away? Her mind spun with a mix of hope and fear.
Without hesitating, she grabbed her coat and followed the girl’s directions.
What if it really was Carl? What would she say? What would he say? As much as she wanted answers, she feared what she might find. Still, she couldn’t turn back now. She had to know.
As Kate approached the house the little girl had described, she felt her breath catch in her throat.
There, standing in the doorway and handing out candy to trick-or-treaters, was Carl. Her Carl.
The man she had loved, the man she had grieved for. He was alive. He was right there in front of her.
Carl spotted her almost immediately, and his face changed. There was no doubt — he recognized her.
His eyes widened in shock, and for a moment, they both stood frozen, staring at each other.
Kate’s heart raced as she took a few hesitant steps toward him. The only word she could manage was, “Hi.”
Carl swallowed hard, his voice barely a whisper.
“Hi,” he replied, just as quietly.
For a moment, they stood there in silence, the air between them thick with unspoken words and emotions.
Kate felt a flood of questions rise inside her, but none came out.
Her voice trembled when she finally spoke again.
“How have you been?”
Carl sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair as if searching for the right words.
“I’m sorry, Kate. I didn’t want to disappear like that. I just… I didn’t know how to tell you the truth.”
Kate’s heart raced.
“The truth?” she repeated, her voice shaking. “What truth?”
Carl looked away, guilt on his face. “I met someone else,” he admitted quietly.
“Her name is Rachel, and… I fell in love with her. That little girl calls me her father now. They’re my family.”
The words hit Kate like a ton of bricks. Her heart shattered. She could barely breathe as the reality of his words sank in.
“And what about me? What about Holly? We’re your family too,” she said, her voice struggling to hold back the hurt.
“I know,” Carl said softly, his eyes full of regret. “But I couldn’t live in two worlds anymore. I had to choose.”
Kate stood in silence, her heart aching with every breath. “And you chose them,” she whispered, her voice barely audible.
“I’m sorry,” Carl said, his voice thick with regret. He looked down, avoiding her gaze. “Is there anything I can do to make it right?”
Kate swallowed hard, forcing herself to stay composed. “Just be happy,” she said, her voice breaking slightly. “That’s all you can do. We’ll try to be happy too.”
Before Carl could respond, a woman appeared in the doorway behind him. “Who is this, Carl? What’s going on?” she asked sharply.
“Rachel, please,” Carl began, turning toward her. But Kate had already made up her mind. She didn’t need to hear more.
Without a word, she turned and walked away, her heart heavy but resolved. The Carl she had known was gone. It was time to let go and move on.
As she approached her house, she saw Holly running toward her, her candy bucket nearly full.
Holly’s smile was bright and full of joy, lighting up the evening. Kate knelt down, wrapping her arms tightly around her daughter.
In that moment, she realized that all she needed was right here, with Holly. It was time to start living again, just the two of them.
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