The day of my grandson Justin’s wedding was one I had been looking forward to for months. I had meticulously chosen a dress that was elegant yet flattering, showcasing the results of a lifetime dedication to fitness. As a 72-year-old who still actively participates in sports, I was proud of my figure and wanted to feel glamorous for this special occasion.
However, as soon as I arrived at the venue, Justin’s face twisted in disapproval. He approached me, his tone harsh and his words cutting deep. “Grandma, what are you wearing? This is embarrassing for our family. You need to go home and change.”
My heart sank. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Was it so wrong for me to want to look feminine and feel beautiful at my grandson’s wedding? I had no intention of leaving or changing my dress, but Justin’s attitude made it clear I wasn’t welcome unless I complied. With a heavy heart, I decided I wouldn’t stay where I wasn’t appreciated. I informed him that not only would I not be returning today, but if he ever invited me to another event, I would wear the same dress.
The Unraveling
Just as I was grabbing my jacket, ready to walk out and never look back, my son – Justin’s father – rushed over to me, his face pale with urgency. “Mom, wait! You won’t believe what just happened. Justin, he…”
The words hung in the air as he struggled to catch his breath. Curiosity and concern made me pause. What could possibly have happened in the few moments since Justin humiliated me?
A Sudden Twist
We hurried back towards the main hall, where a scene of chaos had unfolded. Guests were murmuring, eyes wide with shock, and the air was thick with tension. As we pushed through the crowd, I saw Justin at the center of it all, looking pale and distressed.
It turned out that just moments after our confrontation, Justin’s bride, Emma, had called off the wedding. She had overheard his harsh words to me and decided that if he could treat his own grandmother with such disrespect, he wasn’t the man she wanted to marry. Emma’s decision sent shockwaves through the gathering, leaving Justin to face the immediate consequences of his actions.
The Lesson
Standing there amidst the stunned crowd, I felt a mix of emotions. Justin’s embarrassment was palpable, but there was also a sense of justice in the air. His behavior had consequences, and Emma’s bold decision had highlighted the importance of respect and kindness, values that should never be compromised.
Justin’s wedding day didn’t end as planned, this shook my grandson well. But perhaps it was a necessary wake-up call. As for me, I walked away with my head held high, confident in the knowledge that staying true to oneself and standing up for one’s dignity is always the right choice.
Why More Happy Couples Prefer to Sleep in Separate Beds
According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
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