Barry Manilow explains why he waited decades to come out as gay

During a guest appearance on HBO’s Who’s Talking to Chris Wallace, the 80-year-old Copacabana singer said he didn’t think it was important to announce his sexuality during the earlier decades of his career.

Manilow came out in 2017, almost three years after he married his husband and manager Garry Kief in a private ceremony. The couple have been together for 45 years now, though they’ve kept much of their relationship away from the public eye.

When he came out to People magazine in 2017, Manilow — whose real name is Barry Pincus — worried he’d be “disappointing” some of his fans by revealing his sexuality. Instead, Manilow, who was 73 at the time, said the reaction from his fanbase was “beautiful.”

Garry Kief and Barry Manilow.
Garry Kief and Barry Manilow attend the 2016 Pre-Grammy Gala at The Beverly Hilton Hotel on Feb. 14, 2016, in Beverly Hills, Calif. Steve Granitz/WireImage

Despite his current feelings of nonchalance about his own coming out, Manilow said announcing his sexuality as his career was booming would have been a bad idea.

“Now being gay is no big deal,” he explained. “Back in the ’70s it would have killed a career.”

Regardless, the usually very private Manilow said he thinks “everybody knew that Garry and I were a couple all those years.”

“Really, Garry and I’ve been together for so long,” he said. “It just never dawned on me that we’re going to come out. But when we got married, it was a big deal, so we did.”

Manilow credited Kief for saving his life. He said he is thankful he had Kief to support him as his music career was taking off, despite keeping their relationship under wraps.

“As my career exploded, it was just crazy. And, you know, going back to an empty hotel room, you can get into a lot of trouble if you’re alone night after night after night,” Manilow explained. “But I met Garry right around when it was exploding. And I didn’t have to go back to those empty hotel rooms. I had somebody to cry with or to celebrate with.”

Manilow said he did not wish an isolated hotel room for any young people.

“It was pretty lonely until I met Garry. And then it was fun,” he smiled.

Kief is not Manilow’s first spouse. In 1964, Manilow married his high school sweetheart, Susan Deixler. They were married for one year.

Manilow told CNN’s Wallace he “really did love” Deixler, but added “the gay thing was pretty, pretty strong. I couldn’t deny it.”

The singer said he knew he was gay before marrying Deixler, but their marriage ended because Manilow couldn’t be the committed husband his then-wife needed. He revealed that his sexuality was not the reason his marriage failed.

“We had a very nice marriage, it was great, but I was away every night making music, as a young musician would be,” Manilow described. “It wasn’t good for me, and it wasn’t good for her.”

“I couldn’t be the proper husband,” he continued. “I was out making music every night, sowing my wild oats. I wasn’t ready to settle down.”

Brooklyn-born Manilow skyrocketed to international fame in 1974 after his release of the ever-popular pop-rock ballad Mandy. He became one of the biggest-selling musicians of all time. Prior to his success as a singer-songwriter, Manilow was behind a number of famous commercial jingles for brands like State Farm and Band-Aid — a gig that he has said helped him create catchy hooks for his own hit songs.

Barry Manilow.

In the 1980s, this beautiful woman was on her way to becoming a Hollywood star. She won three Academy Awards when she was at the top of her game, but after that she became less well known. She looks so different now that she’s 67

In a timeless romance, Naval Officer Zack Mayo swept factory worker Paula off her feet, whisking her away from the mundane confines of her workplace. Debra Winger’s portrayal was the envy of fans worldwide, setting a standard for romantic tales in the iconic film “An Officer and a Gentleman”. Richard Gere’s depiction of Officer Zack Mayo, the dashing naval hero clad in his crisp blues, captured hearts across the globe.

Winger, now 67, retains her enduring beauty that first captivated audiences alongside Hollywood’s leading men. Recently, she’s shared glimpses of herself on social media, her once brown locks now naturally curly and silver. Winger’s career ignited with her debut in the 1976 film “Slumber Party ’57”, leading to a memorable role as Drusilla in the hit TV series “Wonder Woman” (1979), where she portrayed the spirited younger sister to Lynda Carter’s Diana Prince.

Despite early success, Winger bravely turned down further commitments on “Wonder Woman” to avoid typecasting, a decision that proved pivotal. Throughout the early 1980s, she garnered acclaim with Oscar and Golden Globe nominations for her roles in iconic films like “Urban Cowboy” (1980) alongside John Travolta, “An Officer and a Gentleman” (1982) as Paula, and “Terms of Endearment” (1983) as Emma, a poignant portrayal of a young woman facing mortality under the watchful eye of her mother, played by Shirley MacLaine.

Yet, amid rising stardom, Winger took a hiatus from Hollywood, sparking speculation that persists over four decades later. Rumors swirled about conflicts with co-stars, including reputed tension with Gere during the filming of “An Officer and a Gentleman”. Co-star Louis Gossett Jr., who played Sgt. Emil Foley, chronicled in his book “An Actor and a Gentleman” that their on-screen chemistry didn’t translate off-screen, attributing friction between Winger and Gere to creative differences.

Winger’s outspoken nature extended beyond Gere; she reportedly clashed with MacLaine on the set of “Terms of Endearment”, where their contrasting styles and personalities led to both friction and eventual camaraderie. The Hollywood grapevine buzzed with tales of Winger’s independence and occasional clashes, enhancing her mystique.

Following her hiatus, Winger returned to the spotlight with “Forget Paris” (1995) alongside Billy Crystal before taking another break to focus on family life in New York City with her husband, actor Arliss Howard. She returned to acting with “Big Bad Love” (2001) and gained further attention with the documentary “Searching for Debra Winger” (2002), exploring her decision to step away from the limelight at the peak of her career.

Reflecting on her Hollywood journey, Winger has remained philosophical, viewing Los Angeles as a place rather than a concept of stardom. Her recent roles in films like “Rachel Getting Married” (2008), “The Lovers” (2017), and “Kajillionaire” (2020) underscore her enduring talent and commitment to diverse roles, reinforcing her status as a cinematic icon who defies easy categorization.

In 2021, Winger appeared in the anthology drama “With/In”, Volume two, in a segment titled “Her Own”, directed and written by her husband Arliss Howard. Her ongoing career continues to surprise and delight audiences, proving that while Hollywood’s landscape may evolve, Debra Winger’s allure and talent endure.

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