The hit 1972 sitcom “M*A*S*H” introduced the world to a number of memorable and beloved characters, from the smart-mouthed yet compassionate Captain Benjamin Franklin “Hawkeye” Pierce to his endearing friend, Captain B.J. Hunnicutt. Almost every character had stuck in the minds of the fans.
One of the characters that often featured but was easily overlooked by his military counterparts due to his nervous nature was the 4077 MASH unit’s company clerk, Corporal Walter Eugene “Radar” O’Reilly. Although many of the staff on the base tended to take Radar’s effort for granted, the fans sure noticed him.
Radar was portrayed by the acclaimed actor Gary Burghoff from the start of the TV show in 1972 until the seventh season, which aired in 1979. Although fans clamored for more of the unassuming clerk, Burghoff revealed that he needed to step away from the show to rekindle his personal relationships and fight burnout.
“M*A*S*H’s” Influence and Burghoff’s Personal Identity
Although Burghoff enjoyed playing Radar, the role became increasingly demanding. The actor commented that it became difficult to separate himself from his character in the eyes of the public, which soon became tedious. He also noted that he despised being fawned over by the crowds:
“Aw, I know I’m cute. Cute, cute, CUTE! I was always cute because I was always the smallest kid on the block. I hate cute.”
Everyone saw Burghoff as an adorable, short, timid character as they’d known him on-screen and on the stage for many years. However, after years of being looked down upon, both metaphorically and physically speaking, Burghoff grew tired of the persona so easily attributed to him by scores of people he had never even met.
The actor lashed out against this view of him as a cute little fellow by defending his height. As he so rightly pointed out, 5 feet 6 inches isn’t irregularly short, and he would have seen the tops of Arte Johnson or Mickey Rooney’s heads had they ever met. Nonetheless, the persona stuck.
Luckily for all his fans, Burghoff didn’t let his disability stand in his way, and he pursued his dream of becoming an actor.
Despite his misgivings about how others perceived him, Burghoff’s fellow cast members adored him. The director Charles Dubin recalled working with Burghoff before he left “M*A*S*H,” noting how caring and pleasant Burghoff was to everyone on set. However, Burghoff had another aspect of himself that drove down his self-esteem.
Burghoff had been born with a congenital disability called Brachydactyly, a form of Poland Syndrome. The condition left the actor with three fingers on his left hand that were noticeably smaller than the rest of his digits, and the abnormality had plagued him since he was a small child. The actor commented:
“Of course, this defect affected me while I was growing up. I suppose when I was very young, I knew my disability would set me apart and make me special.”
Luckily for all his fans, Burghoff didn’t let his disability stand in his way, and he pursued his dream of becoming an actor. Yet, becoming a fan-favorite on one of the most iconic TV shows America had ever produced never managed to quell his insecurities about his stout fingers and stocky frame.
Throughout his run on “M*A*S*H,” Burghoff tried to hide his left hand from the camera. He would often position himself so that the camera could only see one side of his body and usually gestured with his right if the scene required it, although the actor would be obligated to use both hands now and again.
In one of the earliest episodes, viewers were introduced to Radar as he stood in an open area, wearing a greyish shirt and his trademark cap. As the actor turned around and looked at the sky — once again hearing approaching helicopters before everyone else — the camera briefly panned over both his hands holding a football.
When Colonel Sherman T. Potter first made his appearance on the show, taking over from the beloved Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake, Radar and the new commander shared a scene where they first met. As Colonel Potter exited the room to find the latrines, the camera centered on Burghoff’s upper body as he opened a box with both hands.
Another infamous scene caught Burghoff with both hands on camera. During a regular morning salute, with the loathsome Major Frank Burns leading the ceremony, Radar does his usual morning salute with a bugle. In a hilarious twist, one of the men fires off the ceremonial canon at Burns’s behest.
Naturally, Radar gets the short end of the stick as the cannonball flies directly at him, knocking his instrument clean out of his hands. In the next few seconds, Burghoff turns toward the camera in a pantomime of rage, balling his fists and stomping in outrage. Here, both his hands can be seen for a brief second.
In one of the later episodes, the writers showed off Radar’s softer side when he cuddled his pet guinea pig, Babette. Naturally, Radar stood with his left hand beneath his right, but just as he started to sing, Father John Mulcahy called for him. Burghoff’s hands were visible again as he put the Babette away.
One of the scenes where Burghoff openly showed his left hand came as part of another gag the show pulled. At the start of the scene, Radar could be seen walking across a dirt road while two other military personnel walked away from the camera. The man on Radar’s right first lifted his hand in salute, followed shortly by one on the left.
Radar, the pleasant character he was, lifted his right hand in response to the first salute, as military etiquette dictates. Caught off guard by the quick second salute, Radar lifted his left hand as well, essentially performing a double salute. Feeling sheepish, he frowned and lowered his hands slowly in one of Burghoff’s classic displays of confusion.
I Got a Secret Camera Recording from My Husband’s Secretary — The Footage Completely Shook My World
I stared at the attached video file, my cursor hovering over it. Taking a deep breath, I clicked play.
The grainy security footage showed Joseph’s office on a Sunday.
My brow furrowed. He never worked weekends.
Then I saw him walk in, but he wasn’t alone. Two small children, a boy and a girl, clung to his hands.
“Daddy, can we play hide and seek?” the little girl’s voice rang out.
Joseph’s laughter filled the room. “Of course, sweetheart. Let’s see who can hide from Daddy the best!”
I felt the blood drain from my face.
DADDY??
Joseph and I didn’t have any kids. And these weren’t just random kids. They were HIS.
The video continued, showing Joseph playing with the children, helping them with coloring books, and sharing snacks. It was a side of him I’d never seen… tender, paternal, completely at ease.
“Daddy, when can we go to the beach house?” the little boy asked, his voice full of excitement.
Joseph ruffled his hair. “Soon, buddy. I promise it’ll be the best surprise ever.”
My heart shattered into a million pieces. Beach house? What beach house?
The video ended, and I sat in stunned silence. My phone buzzed, jolting me back to reality. It was a text from Joseph.
“Hey sugar, running late at the gym. Don’t wait up! 😘”
I threw my phone across the room, hot tears streaming down my face. “You lying pervert!” I sobbed.
The next morning, I woke up with puffy eyes and a pounding headache. Joseph had already left for work, leaving a note on the kitchen counter:
“Sorry, I missed you this morning. Hope you have a great day! Love you! Mwaaaah! ;)”
I crumpled the note in my fist. How could he act so normal? How long had he been living this double life?
I called my best friend, Lisa. “Can you come over? I need you,” I choked out.
Twenty minutes later, Lisa was at my door. “Bridget, what happened? You look terrible!”
I pulled her inside and spilled everything. Lisa listened, her eyes widening with each word.
“That lying, cheating jerk!” she exclaimed. “What are you going to do?”
I shook my head, feeling lost. “I don’t know. I can’t even think straight.”
Lisa grabbed my shoulders. “Listen to me, Bridget. You need to be smart about this. Don’t confront him yet. We need a plan.”
“A plan?” I laughed bitterly. “Lisa, my entire life is a lie. What kind of plan could possibly fix this?”
“Not to fix it, Bridge. To make him pay.”
I nodded, suddenly seeing things in a new light.
Over the next few days, I played the role of the unsuspecting wife perfectly. But every “I love you” from Joseph felt like a knife twisting in my gut.
One evening, as we sat down for dinner, I plastered on a smile. “Hey, I was thinking we could go to Antonio’s on Friday. You know, that new Italian place?”
Joseph’s eyes lit up. “That sounds great! I’ve been wanting to try it.”
“Perfect! I’ll make the reservations.”
As soon as Joseph left for work the next day, I sprang into action. I hired a private investigator and gave him all the information I had.
Within 48 hours, I had a name: Miranda. Joseph’s other woman. The mother of his children.
I stared at her picture on my laptop screen. She was beautiful, with long red hair and a warm smile. The kids looked just like her. Just like Joseph.
“Oh, Joseph,” I whispered, tears streaming down my face. “Why wasn’t I enough?”
And soon, Friday night arrived. Joseph looked handsome in his casuals, completely oblivious to what was coming.
“You look beautiful,” he said, kissing my cheek. I forced myself not to flinch.
“Thanks! Shall we go?”
As we walked into Antonio’s, I scanned the room. There she was — Miranda, sitting at a table with her two kids.
Joseph froze when he saw her. “Go on, darling! Don’t you want to meet… her?” I cooed.
“What… what’s going on?” he stammered.
I grabbed his arm, my nails digging into his skin. “Why don’t we join your other family for dinner, dear?”
Miranda’s eyes widened as we approached. “Joseph? What’s happening?”
I smiled coldly. “Hello, Miranda. I’m Bridget, Joseph’s wife. It’s so nice to finally meet you.”
The color drained from Joseph’s face. “Bridget, I can explain—”
“Save it,” I snapped, turning to Miranda. “Did you know about me, girl?”
Miranda shook her head, tears welling in her eyes. “No, I… I had no idea.”
I nodded, a strange calm settling over me. “Well, now we both know the truth.”
The next hour was a blur of accusations, tears, and broken dreams. Joseph tried to explain, to apologize, but his words fell on deaf ears.
“How could you do this to us?” Miranda sobbed. “To our children?”
Joseph reached for her hand, then mine. We both recoiled. “I never meant for this to happen,” he pleaded. “I love you both. I love all of you.”
I laughed. “Love? You call this love? You’ve been lying to us for years!”
“How long?” Miranda demanded. “How long have you been married to her?”
Joseph’s shoulders slumped. “Twelve years.”
Miranda gasped. “But… but we’ve been together for seven years. Our kids…”
“Are six and four,” I finished for her. “Quite a juggling act you’ve been doing, Joseph.”
I stood up, my chair scraping loudly against the floor. “I think we’re done here.” I pulled out a manila envelope and dropped it in front of Joseph.
“These are divorce papers. I suggest you sign them quickly.”
As I walked out of the restaurant, I heard Joseph calling after me. “Bridget, please! I love you!”
“No, Joseph. You don’t get to say that anymore.”
The weeks that followed were a whirlwind of lawyers, paperwork, and difficult conversations. I threw myself into the divorce proceedings, determined to come out on top.
One day, my lawyer called with some hot news. “Bridget, we found something interesting. It seems Joseph has been squirreling away money to buy a beach house.”
I laughed bitterly. “Let me guess, a surprise for Miranda and the kids?”
“Most likely,” he replied. “But here’s the thing… it’s still in both your names. We can use this.”
A plan began to form in my mind. “Tell me more.”
My lawyer outlined the legal complexities, fueling my determination with every detail. Joseph had taken everything from me — my trust, my future, my dreams of a family.
Now, it was time for me to take something back.
The final divorce hearing arrived. Joseph looked haggard, the weight of his lies finally showing on his face.
As we waited outside the courtroom, he approached me. “Bridget, can we talk? Please?”
I crossed my arms. “What could you possibly have to say?”
“I’m sorry. I know it doesn’t change anything, but I truly am sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”
I looked at him, really looked at him, for the first time since that fateful video. “You’re right, Joseph. It doesn’t change anything. But thank you for finally being honest.”
Inside the courtroom, as the judge read through our settlement, Joseph’s eyes widened at each asset I was awarded. When she got to the beach house, he couldn’t contain himself.
“But that was supposed to be—” he cut himself off, realizing his mistake.
I smiled sweetly. “Supposed to be what, Joseph? A love nest for your secret family?”
The judge frowned. “Mr. Thompson, is there something you’d like to add?”
Joseph slumped in his chair, defeated. “No, Your Honor.”
As we left the courthouse, I felt a weight lift off my heart. It wasn’t just about the money or the assets. It was about reclaiming my dignity and my self-respect.
I walked away, leaving behind the shattered remains of our marriage and the man I thought I knew. As I stepped into the sunlight, I took a deep breath. The future was uncertain, but for the first time in weeks, I felt a sliver of hope.
My phone buzzed with a text from Lisa: “How did it go?”
“It’s over! And I’m finally free!🥲”
Walking down the courthouse steps, I realized this wasn’t just an ending. It was a beginning. A chance to rebuild, to rediscover myself, and to create a new life… one built on honesty, strength, and self-love.
The road ahead would be tough, but I was ready. After all, I had survived the worst betrayal imaginable. Whatever came next, I knew I could handle it. 😎
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