Grappling with his son’s suicide, Michael Madsen still hopes to find answers

Actor Michael Madsen of Reservoir Dogs received a final text from his child that said, “I love you dad,” and nothing more.

According to his father, 26-year-old Hudson Madsen, a prominent Hollywood actor’s son, shot himself in the head after completing his first tour as a U.S. Army Sergeant stationed in Hawaii.

Star of the Kill Bill franchise Madsen told the LA Times, “I am in shock as my son, whom I just spoke with a few days ago, said he was happy-my last text from him was ‘I love you dad.’”

“I saw no indications of depression. It is so terrible and tragic. He went on, “I’m just trying to make sense of it and comprehend what happened.

Hudson, the oldest child of Madsen and his wife DeAnna Madsen, had Quentin Tarantino as his godfather. The next oldest kids were brothers Luke and Kalvin. Madsen has two more boys, Christian and Max, with his former spouse Jeannine Bisignano.


In 2019, he wed Carlie, who posted encouraging remarks about their love on social media. Carlie’s social media accounts reveal that the couple, unable to conceive naturally, was thinking about doing IVF.

Just one week before he died on January 22, 2022, Carlie posted a selfie of herself wearing a hospital gown to Instagram, captioning it with the news that she had recently had a tumor removed.

She continues in the post, “I just want to give a shout-out to my amazing husband!” Throughout the entire process, he has shown a great deal of patience. I had surgery on one of my breasts yesterday to remove a tumor. Carlie went on, “We spent approximately seven hours at the hospital yesterday. He went to Target and purchased me a card, flowers, cozy pajamas, and my favorite candy while I was in surgery! He has also been tremendous in aiding with my recuperation, and I am incredibly appreciative.

A few weeks later, she posted a sweet photo of herself and Hudson to Twitter with the straightforward message, “I miss you so much.” The circumstances surrounding Hudson’s suicide baffled everyone.

According to Madsen, the 64-year-old father expressed his distress about his suicide by saying, “He had typical life challenges that people have with finances, but he wanted a family.” This is mind-blowing, since he was thinking about his future. I just don’t know what went wrong.

The Once Upon a Time in Hollywood actor Madsen also revealed that, despite his outward contentment, his son—who had served in Afghanistan—was struggling with mental health concerns. The actor claimed that because his son was keeping his difficulties to himself, he stopped getting counseling when he needed it.

Madsen felt “that officers and rank and file were shaming,” so he asked the military to look into it. However, the investigation’s findings are still under wraps.

Known for his work on Quentin Tarantino’s gory comedies, Madsen was arrested in Malibu at the mansion he had just been evicted from, one month after Hudson committed herself. Madsen was charged with trespassing and was given bail.

The actor has a past criminal history; TMZ reports that he was charged with child endangerment in 2012 and with DUI in 2019 following an SUV accident.

When the actor entered his house and saw that his teenage son was using marijuana, the two got into a fight.According to TMZ, Madsen and his young son got into a violent altercation, and when the police arrived, they saw multiple injuries on the boy. According to reports, Madsen looked to be intoxicated when he was taken into custody. Madsen’s name was disclosed, but not that of the son.

After Hudson passed away, the family released a statement in which they said, “We are crushed and overwhelmed with grief and pain at the loss of Hudson.” His memory and light will live on in the hearts of all those who were acquainted with and loved him.

Carlie posts a poignant homage to her spouse, whom she affectionately refers to as “Lump,” on Instagram on January 23, 2023.I have no idea how a year has passed without you. The pain is still exactly the same as it was that day. Every morning when I wake up and every evening before I go to sleep, my thoughts always turn to you. How much I miss you and how much I hurt is beyond words.

“I simply wish you would have spoken with me and told me what was going on that day,” she said. I apologize if you believed that there was no other way to turn things around. I apologize for not seeing the symptoms and for not being able to do more. Regretfully, I let you down. Please know that you are never far from my thoughts or side. Lump, I love you more and I miss you a lot.

Hudson Madsen passed away tragically, leaving behind a husband, best friend, son, and hero. If someone needs to hear it, this is the perfect opportunity to let them know how much you care.

There is always help available, and don’t forget that if you want to talk to someone anonymously, you can call the Suicide Hotline in the United States and Canada at 9-8-8.

AT 78, I SOLD EVERYTHING I HAD AND BOUGHT ONE WAY TICKET TO SEE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE – IN THE PLANE, MY DREAM WAS CRUSHED

The worn leather of the suitcase felt rough against my trembling hands. Forty years. Forty years of regret, of guilt gnawing at my soul. Forty years since I had last seen Elizabeth, the love of my life. Forty years since my own stupidity had torn us apart.

I glanced at the address scribbled on a crumpled piece of paper, my heart pounding a frantic rhythm against my ribs. 123 Maple Street, Willow Creek, Ohio. It felt like a destination in a dream, a place I had only ever dared to imagine.

The plane ride was a blur. My mind raced, a whirlwind of memories and “what ifs.” What would she look like now? Would she still have that mischievous glint in her eyes, that infectious laugh that used to fill our small apartment? Would she recognize me, this old man, weathered by time and regret?

As the plane began its descent, a wave of dizziness washed over me. I gripped the armrests, my knuckles white. My chest felt tight, a burning sensation spreading through my lungs. Voices, muffled and distant, seemed to come from far away.

“Sir, are you alright?”

I tried to respond, but only a strangled gasp escaped my lips. The world tilted, then plunged into darkness.

When I awoke, I was in a sterile white room, the smell of antiseptic filling my nostrils. A blurry image of concerned faces swam into view – a nurse, a doctor, a young woman with kind eyes.

“Where… where am I?” I croaked, my voice weak and raspy.

“You’re at St. Jude’s Hospital, sir,” the young woman said gently. “You suffered a heart attack. You’re lucky to be alive.”

Heart attack. The words echoed in my mind, a stark reminder of my mortality. But a different thought, more urgent, pushed its way to the forefront. Elizabeth.

“Elizabeth,” I rasped, my voice hoarse. “Is she… is she here?”

The young woman hesitated, her eyes filled with a mixture of concern and uncertainty. “I… I don’t know, sir. Who is Elizabeth?”

My heart sank. Had I imagined it? Had the years of loneliness and regret twisted my mind, creating a fantasy, a desperate hope?

Days turned into weeks. I spent my recovery in the hospital, haunted by the uncertainty. The doctors assured me that I was stable, but the fear of losing consciousness again, of never seeing Elizabeth, lingered.

One afternoon, as I sat by the window, watching the world go by, a familiar figure appeared in the doorway. A woman, her hair streaked with silver, her eyes crinkled at the corners. She was more beautiful than I remembered, her face etched with the lines of time, yet her smile was the same, the same smile that had captivated me all those years ago.

“Arthur,” she whispered, her voice trembling.

Tears welled up in my eyes. It was her. Elizabeth.

She rushed towards me, her arms open wide. I held her close, burying my face in her hair, inhaling the scent of lavender, a scent that transported me back to a time of youthful dreams and endless possibilities.

“I never stopped loving you, Arthur,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. “I never stopped waiting.”

And in that moment, I knew that despite the years that had passed, despite the pain and the regret, love, true love, had a way of finding its way back home.

As we held each other, the world seemed to melt away. The years of separation, the loneliness, the fear – all of it seemed insignificant compared to the joy of holding her in my arms once more. We had lost so much time, but we still had now. And that, I realized, was all that truly mattered. The worn leather of my suitcase felt rough against my trembling hands. Forty years. Forty years of longing, of regret, of a life lived in a perpetual twilight. Forty years since I had last seen Elizabeth, the love of my life, the woman whose laughter still echoed in the empty chambers of my heart.

I remembered the day vividly. The rain was coming down in sheets, mirroring the storm brewing inside me. We were arguing, a petty disagreement blown out of proportion by youthful pride and stubbornness. I had stormed out, my words echoing in the rain-slicked street. “Fine,” I had spat, “I don’t need you!”

I hadn’t meant it. Not really. But the words hung heavy in the air, a cruel echo of my own anger. I walked for hours, the rain washing away my pride and replacing it with a growing dread. When I finally returned, the lights in our small apartment were off. I called her name, my voice cracking with fear, but there was no answer.

The police found her car abandoned by the river, a chilling testament to the storm that had raged within me. The search parties, the endless waiting, the gnawing uncertainty – it had aged me beyond my years. The vibrant hues of life had faded, replaced by a monotonous grey.

Then, a miracle. A letter, tucked amongst a pile of bills and advertisements, a faded envelope bearing a familiar handwriting. “I’ve been thinking of you,” it read.

The words, simple yet profound, ignited a fire within me. Hope, a fragile ember that had long since been extinguished, flickered back to life. I devoured every letter, each one a precious piece of her, a glimpse into the life she had built. I learned about her children, her grandchildren, her passions, her joys, and her sorrows. And with each letter, the ache in my heart lessened, replaced by a yearning so intense it almost consumed me.

Then, the invitation. “Come,” it read, “Come see me.”

She had included her address.

And so, here I was, 78 years old, sitting on a plane, my hands trembling, my heart pounding like a drum against my ribs. I hadn’t flown in decades. The world outside the window, a blur of clouds and sky, mirrored the chaos within me.

Suddenly, a sharp pain erupted in my chest. I gasped for air, my vision blurring. Voices, distant and muffled, filled my ears. “Sir, are you alright?” “We need to get him some air!”

Panic clawed at my throat. Not now. Not when I was finally this close.

Then, through the haze, I saw her face. Her eyes, the same shade of hazel as mine, wide with concern.

“John?” she whispered, her voice trembling.

And in that moment, time seemed to stand still. The pain, the fear, the decades of longing – they all faded away. All that remained was her. Elizabeth.

Tears welled up in my eyes, blurring her face. But I knew. I knew it was her.

And as I slipped into unconsciousness, I whispered her name, a silent prayer, a love song carried on the wind.

I woke up in a hospital room, the scent of antiseptic filling my nostrils. Elizabeth sat beside me, her hand gently clasped in mine.

“You gave me quite a scare,” she said, her voice soft as a summer breeze.

I managed a weak smile. “I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

And as I looked at her, at the lines etched on her face, the silver strands in her hair, I knew that this was just the beginning. We had forty years to catch up on, to rediscover the love we had lost. Forty years to make up for the time we had wasted.

And as I held her hand, I knew that this time, nothing would ever tear us apart again.

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