For someone who was called “fatso” and had no intention of becoming a famous Hollywood star, this actress has certainly made a name for herself. After her breakout role, she garnered so much attention that she earned a special accolade.
This actress once revealed that her mother never wanted a daughter, and she grew up sheltered because of her strict father. Despite being bullied and called ugly, she eventually found peace and married the love of her life.
What was Her Childhood like?
In her memoir, “This Is Just My Face: Try Not To Stare,” the actress wrote about her childhood and mother, who she confirmed during an interview in 2017 still sang in subways.
The actress’ mother had been a teacher at her school until the fourth grade. Originally from the southern state of Georgia, her mom then took a sabbatical and started singing in the subway.
Her mother realized she could make more money performing than working for the Board of Education and decided to stick with it. The celebrity recalled her mother taking her and her brother to the subway, where she would sing for around five hours.
The actress remembered sitting on a bench within eyesight or earshot, doing her homework or reading books. Her mother performed at New York City’s Penn Station while she wandered around the station or visited a nearby bookstore.
At the bookstore, she was allowed to pull books off the shelves and read without paying. She suspected they permitted this because they knew her mother. Every now and then, she’d ask her mother for money to buy a new “Clue” book or the latest “Nancy Drew.”
Her mother always gave her the money, encouraging her to focus on reading. On the other hand, her father was very strict. He was from Senegal, studied architecture in France, and later became a cab driver when he moved to New York.
The actress shared that both her parents spanked her growing up, but she rejected labeling it as abuse, even when directly challenged. She emphasized that people often interpret others’ experiences through their own lens.
For her, spanking was a culturally rooted form of discipline common in communities of color, not an act of cruelty. She explained that her father’s upbringing in Africa, where safety and community were stable, shaped his beliefs about discipline.
After moving to Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn—a much more dangerous environment—he felt strong discipline was necessary to protect his children. Although it took years for father and daughter to fully understand each other, she never considered him abusive, especially seeing how relaxed he became with his younger children later.
She recalled a tender memory of her father carefully granting her small bits of independence, such as letting her fetch the mail while he watched closely from the doorway.
He would warn her against using the staircase, fearing for her safety, and waited to hear her shout from the elevator when she entered it out of his view. Ironically, her brother, who was only 11 months older, had far more independence. Unfortunately, part of her childhood also involved bullying.
Life’s Harsh Realities
When she turned six, the actress, who was raised in Harlem, started noticing what other children said about her. She spoke about the bullying she endured at that age regarding her weight, “You know, it’s, like, that weird thing where, like, I realize this thing about myself – I’m not magic, so now I have to pick you apart. And I have to pick myself apart.”
The star added, “And I think that was the age where people started calling me Fatso and you-this and you-that, blah, blah blah. That’s what helped me to notice.” In her book, she wrote about praying in the fourth grade for God to make her less sensitive because of how badly she was mocked.
At that time, her parents’ marriage was crumbling; they separated when she was 12, leaving her feeling “unhinged.” She recalled crying for hours and experiencing tightness in her chest when someone said something hurtful.
Panic attacks made breathing difficult, and she sometimes felt like she might die. Noticing that she could cry for up to three hours during school, she began praying about her sensitivity, unaware she was dealing with a medical condition.
The actress battled depression and anxiety unnoticed throughout elementary and junior high school. The issues persisted into high school, with the panic attacks intensifying during her commute to school.
After transferring schools, her struggles worsened, and she realized her issues were not just about being bullied for her weight. She eventually sought medical help and spoke about her struggles.
The actress on “Saturday Night Live” on April 24, 2010 | Source: Getty Images
Another painful memory was the rejection she felt from her mother. She recalled, “My mom always told me that she never wanted to have a daughter.” The star acknowledged how harsh that sounded but explained it prepared her for understanding that “being a Black woman was not going to be easy. That’s what my mom told me.”
Her mother believed having a daughter was hard because girls lead difficult lives. The actress said, “Those were the first lessons I got about being a Black woman. Today, as an adult, I would really like to erase that narrative from my life.” Despite these challenges, stardom found her.
The star on “Saturday Night Live” | Source: Getty Images
Becoming an Actress and Getting Hate
By 2010, the actress had become a well-known celebrity, staying in luxurious hotel suites for interviews. That year, she was based in the UK for the London Film Festival. She confessed that she hadn’t planned for the life she now had.
Just two years earlier, at 24, she was working as a receptionist to support her psychology studies in college when she auditioned for a film on a whim. She had just enrolled for her third year when she auditioned. Her resume listed only three minor college theater roles, yet she secured the lead role in “Precious.”
Andy Samberg and his co-star on “Saturday Night Live” | Source: Getty Images
She canceled her classes to star in the film, which became a breakout hit at Sundance in early 2009. The movie received three Golden Globe nominations, including Best Actress for Gabourey Sidibe, along with an Academy Award nomination.
After her nomination, a famous radio host went on air, claiming it was an anomaly. He alleged that Sidibe’s Hollywood peers were only “pretending” she was one of them and said she would never act again because of her weight.
Kristen Wiig and Gabourey Sidibe on “Saturday Night Live” | Source: Getty Images
The star shared that she had never dreamed of becoming an actress and felt overwhelmed by the film’s success. She explained that she has a neutral accent, stating, “I don’t have what we call the blackccent.”
However, despite no formal acting training, she recognized that her character would have an accent, so she deepened her voice to fit the role. Part of her Hollywood success came from her hustle and hard work.
Gabourey Sidibe at the “Our Idiot Brother” screening in New York on August 22, 2011 | Source: Getty Images
Despite two psychics predicting fame for her, Sidibe never believed she would gain the same recognition as her Hollywood idols. Today, she excels both in front of and behind the camera, although her journey also included a significant decision regarding her health.
Gabourey Sidibe at the “Win Win” screening party in New York on March 16, 2011 | Source: Getty Images
Going Under the Knife
In May 2016, after enduring bullying and struggling with weight loss, Sidibe underwent laparoscopic bariatric surgery. She made the decision after she and her brother were diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes.
The actress did the procedure because she didn’t want to worry about the effects that come with having diabetes. She explained, “I genuinely [would] worry all the time about losing my toes.”
Gabourey Sidibe at the 13th premiere and after party of the New York Film Festival Opening Night Gala on September 30, 2016 | Source: Getty Images
Sidibe expressed frustration that people assumed they cared more about her health than she did. “But I care more than anybody really knows. Of course I care. It’s been my body my whole life, and I didn’t want to be afraid anymore. And I’ve been feeling like that for some time,” she said.
Even after surgery, she continued to obsess over her body, eating habits, and weight. However, she learned to trust herself and embraced the mantra “faith over fear,” understanding that her decisions were personal.
Gabourey Sidibe at the 27th Annual Beat the Odds ceremony in Los Angeles on December 7, 2017 | Source: Getty Images
Initially, she weighed herself five or six times daily, tracking natural fluctuations. Eventually, she stopped that behavior and now weighs herself every two weeks or whenever she feels the need.
For the first 17 days post-surgery, Sidibe consumed only liquids and became depressed. However, by 2017, she was following meal plans, eating five times a day, cooking, consulting her nutritionist, and using apps to log her meals.
Gabourey Sidibe at the NAACP Image Awards in Los Angeles on February 11, 2017 | Source: Getty Images
She also became more active, using her Apple Watch to track her movements. The actress had tricycles both at her Los Angeles home and on set in Chicago, riding them during lunch breaks.
She revealed that she felt stronger, more mobile, and no longer feared losing her toes. After her breakout role in “Precious,” she was featured in People magazine’s World’s Most Beautiful issue, an honor she called “really dope!”
Gabourey Sidibe at the Variety Cannes Lions Studio at the Cannes Lions Festival in France on June 21, 2017 | Source: Getty Images
Still, Sidibe acknowledged that she likely would not have been included if she weren’t an actress. She pointed out that such lists typically feature celebrities, not regular people.
While she believes she’s beautiful—crediting her parents for her features—she often doubts whether others genuinely see her that way. “Other than my very obvious beautiful [expletive] features, like my cheekbones, my skin-tone? Get out of here. Gorgeous!” she said, affirming her self-worth with humor.
The actress admitted that she spent much of her life hearing she was ugly, both from outsiders and within her own community. Even after being named one of the Most Beautiful at 26, internalizing that recognition was difficult.
Decades of negative conditioning weren’t easily undone, even by career success. Though she now believes in her own beauty, she remains skeptical of outside praise.
“Yeah, I’m beautiful, but I’m not convinced that you’re convinced of that,” she said. Sidibe described her beauty as something deeply personal: “My beauty is like my own secret in this way.” She explained that maintaining confidence is a daily practice, not a permanent achievement.
Confidence, for her, is like applying lipstick—it needs daily renewal. High heels, a good hairstyle, intelligence, friends, and humor all contribute to her sense of self-worth. For Sidibe, confidence isn’t automatic; it’s something she cultivates consciously. Despite her size, she enjoys photo shoots and embraces her body.
Accepting Herself and Fighting for Others
Sidibe once said about photo shoots, “I feel like a model. It justifies everyone in my life who told me I wouldn’t be anything until I lost weight.” It also justified the little girl who cried, thinking she didn’t belong in front of a camera.
However, reaching that confidence took time, only happening around age 21. She recalled becoming tired of letting others define her worth. Lee Daniels, the director of “Precious,” had high praise for her.
He said, “[Gabby] may be in a state of denial or on a higher plane than the rest of us, but either way, she breaks your heart in the movie.” Responding to his comment, she stated, “I was like, ‘What the hell? I’m in denial?’ No, I know what I look like. I’m very much aware.”
When asked where her confidence came from, she explained, “It came from me.” She added, “One day I decided that I was beautiful, and so I carried out my life as if I was a beautiful girl.”
Sidibe said what helps her is wearing the colors she loves and the makeup that makes her feel pretty. Advising others struggling with self-image, she said, “It doesn’t have anything to do with how the world perceives you. What matters is what you see. Your body is your temple, it’s your home, and you must decorate it.”
In 2021, she partnered with the Child Mind Institute and its May Mental Health Awareness campaign. Her own struggles with depression inspired her to work alongside the nonprofit organization to launch Getting Better Together.
The star revealed that she was 19 or 20 when she was diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and an eating disorder. In a video, the actress shared, “I remember having almost no one, really, to turn to. I couldn’t talk about it with my parents, or my friends or my friend’s parents. Everyone would tell me I was too young, too young to feel sad all the time or too young to feel stressed out.”
She explained how people around her tried to convince her that she wasn’t feeling what she felt. Fortunately, her instincts, which told her something was wrong, were louder, and she managed to save herself.
However, she recognized that not everyone had the ability to do the same or even to recognize that they needed help. That realization inspired her to start the Getting Better Together initiative. She urged, “If you or a young person you know is struggling, please go to ChildMind.org for resources and help.” Since then, she’s gotten married and welcomed children.
Celebrating Love and Growth
Gabourey Sidibe has since married Brandon Frankel, and together they share two children. In April 2025, the couple uploaded various images of their twins, Cooper and Maya, as they celebrated their first birthday.
The proud parents reflected on a full year filled with love and laughter. They described the twins as hilarious, sweet, and remarkably well-behaved. From walking and talking to dancing, hugging, and even demanding songs or calling every animal “CAT!”, the little ones have blossomed into vibrant mini humans.
Their parents expressed feeling honored to watch them grow and excited for all the learning and discovery ahead.
“We LOVE being your parents—the best is yet to come!” they wrote in a heartfelt celebration of the milestone.
The month before, the couple celebrated their wedding anniversary with help from Brides magazine.
For their fourth anniversary, they graced the magazine’s cover in 2022, and the publication honored them by inviting readers to revisit their love story through a special link in their bio.
My 5-Year-Old Daughter Told Me I’m Not Her Real Dad
Josh’s entire world is shaken when his young daughter unexpectedly reveals a family secret that challenges the very core of their existence. As undisclosed affairs come to the surface, a simple DNA test emerges as the crucial tool in untangling the intricate web of deception and rediscovering the true essence of family.
I’m still grappling with the situation, and honestly, I’m at a loss. My little daughter, Amy, only five years old, dropped a bombshell on me that has shattered my reality. She casually mentioned, “Daddy, you know you’re not my real dad, right?” Initially, I brushed it off, thinking she was confused or perhaps playing a game. Kids can have wild imaginations, after all. Or maybe she had picked up something unusual from TV. I laughed it off, attempting to gently correct her, but the seriousness in her eyes gave me pause.
The instant she said it, I was hit with a wave of shock, as if an icy cold wave crashed over me. Initially, I couldn’t believe it. How could my daughter, the little girl I’ve nurtured and cherished since her birth, utter such words? I tried to reassure myself that she must have misunderstood something she heard or saw.
However, as I looked into her innocent eyes, a sinking feeling took hold of me. The way she mentioned it so matter-of-factly, without grasping the gravity of her words, tore at my heart.
The shock swiftly turned into heartache. The idea that I might not be her biological father was incomprehensible. It felt like the ground was slipping from beneath me. My mind was flooded with questions and fears.
Had Jill, my wife, deceived me? Was there something from the past that I was oblivious to? The notion that my family might not be what I thought it was left me devastated.
“Then who is your real dad, sweetie?” I asked tenderly.
“Uncle Andrew,” she blurted out, before returning to her dolls, leaving me speechless.
I was bewildered. I adore Amy more than anything, and the prospect of a hidden truth like this has left me feeling betrayed and utterly shattered. My mind was swirling with questions. How do I even begin to address this situation? How do I approach Jill about it without causing further strain? I was afraid of what I might uncover, but I knew I had to unearth the truth for Amy’s sake and mine.
I resolved to discuss Amy’s unsettling words with Jill. I needed clarity, for both Amy’s well-being and mine. So, despite the storm of emotions raging within me, I approached Jill calmly. I relayed what Amy had said, observing Jill’s reaction closely. She chuckled it off, but her laughter seemed forced, almost nervous. In that moment, I sensed there was more to this than a child’s imagination run wild.
To delve deeper into the matter, I arranged a playdate not just for Amy but also for Kyle, Andrew’s child. I anticipated a typical day, yet I remained on high alert, monitoring their interactions, searching for any clues or indications. Jill’s uneasy laughter lingered in my mind, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that this innocent playdate might uncover more than mere child’s play. It was a plunge into the unknown, but I was determined to uncover the truth, whatever it may be.
As Amy and Kyle played, I observed Andrew closely. Something about his demeanor around Amy struck me as odd, too familiar, too intimate for an uncle. I remained vigilant, listening intently, and what I overheard shattered me completely.
In her innocent, childlike manner, Amy asked Andrew, “When will we tell Josh that you’re my real Daddy?”
“Soon, sweetheart. But until then, it’s our little secret.”
My heart skipped a beat. The pain of those words was unbearable. It felt as though the ground had collapsed beneath me. Anger, betrayal, and an overwhelming sadness engulfed me.
At that moment, I realized that this wasn’t merely a child’s misunderstanding or a fabricated tale. It was a hidden truth, concealed in plain sight, and it was tearing me apart. I maintained my composure outwardly, but internally, I was screaming. How long had this lie festered? How could Andrew participate in this charade right under my nose?
After the playdate, I was distraught, but I needed answers, I craved the truth. I confronted Jill once more, armed with what Amy and Andrew had disclosed. I demanded an explanation, no more brushing it off, no more justifications. The joviality of the playdate had devolved into a nightmare, but I was determined to confront it head-on, prepared for whatever revelations ensued.
The confrontation with Jill surpassed my expectations in intensity. As soon as I broached the subject of what Amy and Andrew had discussed, the tension was palpable. Jill’s usual composed demeanor crumbled, and she broke into tears, her facade crumbling under the weight of reality.
Amidst her sobs, she admitted to a brief affair with Andrew. She attempted to rationalize her actions by citing feelings of neglect and loneliness during a rough patch in our marriage.
According to her, my workaholic tendencies and emotional distance drove her into Andrew’s arms. She painted a picture of vulnerability and desperation, a moment of weakness where she sought comfort in the wrong place.
However, her tears and justifications fell on deaf ears. My heart was too consumed by betrayal and pain to entertain her explanations. The agony of her confession, coupled with the ongoing deceit surrounding Amy’s paternity, left no room for compassion. All I could think about was the deception that had permeated my household, the trust that had been irrevocably shattered.
I was adamant about my next course of action: a DNA test. It was the only means of piercing through the lies and uncertainties, of reintroducing truth into our lives. I informed Jill of my decision, emphasizing its non-negotiable nature.
The imperative need to ascertain whether Amy was indeed my biological daughter eclipsed all other considerations. That moment marked the commencement of the end of our marriage as we knew it, propelling us into a maelstrom of legal and emotional turmoil that would redefine our family’s future.
The wait for the DNA test results was agonizing. Each day felt interminable, a relentless stretch of time teeming with anxiety, hope, and dread. My mind was in constant turmoil, vacillating between the hope that Amy was mine and the terror of an alternative reality.
During those interminable moments, I found myself reminiscing about every shared memory, every shared laugh, and every tear with Amy. She was my precious daughter, the light of my life. The notion of her not being my biological child was unfathomable, a potential reality that threatened to upend everything I held dear.
When the results finally arrived, my hands trembled as I tore open the envelope. It felt as though the entire world held its breath, awaiting the outcome along with me. As I perused the document confirming that Amy was indeed my biological daughter, a surge of relief and jubilation washed over me. It was a moment of profound clarity and validation, severing the tangled web of lies and deceit.
The joy of knowing that Amy was mine was tempered by the anguish of betrayal and the imminent dissolution of our family as I knew it. Nevertheless, in that instant, the bond between Amy and me emerged as the one unequivocal truth amidst the chaos. This revelation fortified my determination to safeguard and cherish our relationship, irrespective of the legal and emotional battles that lay ahead.
Following the emotional upheaval of the DNA test and confronting the harsh truths within our marriage, I took the inevitable next step: serving Jill with divorce papers. The decision was not made lightly, but it became evident that our marriage was beyond salvage. The breach of trust was irreparable, and I needed to prioritize the well-being of Amy and myself.
The divorce proceedings were arduous, fraught with legal complexities and emotional turmoil. However, amidst the chaos, there was a silver lining: securing joint custody of Amy. It was imperative to me that despite everything, Amy would not lose access to either of her parents. She required stability and affection, particularly during such tumultuous times.
Throughout this ordeal, my primary objective was to shield Amy from the adult complexities and preserve her innocence. We endeavored to ensure that everything was as seamless as possible for her, ensuring that she felt loved and secure. Despite the pain and betrayal, I refused to let my relationship with Jill impede Amy’s bond with her mother. Children need love, not discord.
Now, with the divorce finalized and custody arrangements in place, I feel a sense of relief. The bond between Amy and me remains unscathed, reinforced by the trials we have endured. We are moving forward, just the two of us, reconstructing our lives with new routines and a deeper connection. The ordeal was agonizing, but it brought clarity and, ultimately, a fresh start for Amy and me. Our bond is unbreakable; we are navigating this new chapter together, with hope and resilience.
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