For someone who was called “fatso” and had no intention of becoming a famous Hollywood star, this actress has certainly made a name for herself. After her breakout role, she garnered so much attention that she earned a special accolade.
This actress once revealed that her mother never wanted a daughter, and she grew up sheltered because of her strict father. Despite being bullied and called ugly, she eventually found peace and married the love of her life.
What was Her Childhood like?
In her memoir, “This Is Just My Face: Try Not To Stare,” the actress wrote about her childhood and mother, who she confirmed during an interview in 2017 still sang in subways.
The actress’ mother had been a teacher at her school until the fourth grade. Originally from the southern state of Georgia, her mom then took a sabbatical and started singing in the subway.
Her mother realized she could make more money performing than working for the Board of Education and decided to stick with it. The celebrity recalled her mother taking her and her brother to the subway, where she would sing for around five hours.
The actress remembered sitting on a bench within eyesight or earshot, doing her homework or reading books. Her mother performed at New York City’s Penn Station while she wandered around the station or visited a nearby bookstore.
At the bookstore, she was allowed to pull books off the shelves and read without paying. She suspected they permitted this because they knew her mother. Every now and then, she’d ask her mother for money to buy a new “Clue” book or the latest “Nancy Drew.”
Her mother always gave her the money, encouraging her to focus on reading. On the other hand, her father was very strict. He was from Senegal, studied architecture in France, and later became a cab driver when he moved to New York.
The actress shared that both her parents spanked her growing up, but she rejected labeling it as abuse, even when directly challenged. She emphasized that people often interpret others’ experiences through their own lens.
For her, spanking was a culturally rooted form of discipline common in communities of color, not an act of cruelty. She explained that her father’s upbringing in Africa, where safety and community were stable, shaped his beliefs about discipline.
After moving to Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn—a much more dangerous environment—he felt strong discipline was necessary to protect his children. Although it took years for father and daughter to fully understand each other, she never considered him abusive, especially seeing how relaxed he became with his younger children later.
She recalled a tender memory of her father carefully granting her small bits of independence, such as letting her fetch the mail while he watched closely from the doorway.
He would warn her against using the staircase, fearing for her safety, and waited to hear her shout from the elevator when she entered it out of his view. Ironically, her brother, who was only 11 months older, had far more independence. Unfortunately, part of her childhood also involved bullying.
Life’s Harsh Realities
When she turned six, the actress, who was raised in Harlem, started noticing what other children said about her. She spoke about the bullying she endured at that age regarding her weight, “You know, it’s, like, that weird thing where, like, I realize this thing about myself – I’m not magic, so now I have to pick you apart. And I have to pick myself apart.”
The star added, “And I think that was the age where people started calling me Fatso and you-this and you-that, blah, blah blah. That’s what helped me to notice.” In her book, she wrote about praying in the fourth grade for God to make her less sensitive because of how badly she was mocked.
At that time, her parents’ marriage was crumbling; they separated when she was 12, leaving her feeling “unhinged.” She recalled crying for hours and experiencing tightness in her chest when someone said something hurtful.
Panic attacks made breathing difficult, and she sometimes felt like she might die. Noticing that she could cry for up to three hours during school, she began praying about her sensitivity, unaware she was dealing with a medical condition.
The actress battled depression and anxiety unnoticed throughout elementary and junior high school. The issues persisted into high school, with the panic attacks intensifying during her commute to school.
After transferring schools, her struggles worsened, and she realized her issues were not just about being bullied for her weight. She eventually sought medical help and spoke about her struggles.
The actress on “Saturday Night Live” on April 24, 2010 | Source: Getty Images
Another painful memory was the rejection she felt from her mother. She recalled, “My mom always told me that she never wanted to have a daughter.” The star acknowledged how harsh that sounded but explained it prepared her for understanding that “being a Black woman was not going to be easy. That’s what my mom told me.”
Her mother believed having a daughter was hard because girls lead difficult lives. The actress said, “Those were the first lessons I got about being a Black woman. Today, as an adult, I would really like to erase that narrative from my life.” Despite these challenges, stardom found her.
The star on “Saturday Night Live” | Source: Getty Images
Becoming an Actress and Getting Hate
By 2010, the actress had become a well-known celebrity, staying in luxurious hotel suites for interviews. That year, she was based in the UK for the London Film Festival. She confessed that she hadn’t planned for the life she now had.
Just two years earlier, at 24, she was working as a receptionist to support her psychology studies in college when she auditioned for a film on a whim. She had just enrolled for her third year when she auditioned. Her resume listed only three minor college theater roles, yet she secured the lead role in “Precious.”
Andy Samberg and his co-star on “Saturday Night Live” | Source: Getty Images
She canceled her classes to star in the film, which became a breakout hit at Sundance in early 2009. The movie received three Golden Globe nominations, including Best Actress for Gabourey Sidibe, along with an Academy Award nomination.
After her nomination, a famous radio host went on air, claiming it was an anomaly. He alleged that Sidibe’s Hollywood peers were only “pretending” she was one of them and said she would never act again because of her weight.
Kristen Wiig and Gabourey Sidibe on “Saturday Night Live” | Source: Getty Images
The star shared that she had never dreamed of becoming an actress and felt overwhelmed by the film’s success. She explained that she has a neutral accent, stating, “I don’t have what we call the blackccent.”
However, despite no formal acting training, she recognized that her character would have an accent, so she deepened her voice to fit the role. Part of her Hollywood success came from her hustle and hard work.
Gabourey Sidibe at the “Our Idiot Brother” screening in New York on August 22, 2011 | Source: Getty Images
Despite two psychics predicting fame for her, Sidibe never believed she would gain the same recognition as her Hollywood idols. Today, she excels both in front of and behind the camera, although her journey also included a significant decision regarding her health.
Gabourey Sidibe at the “Win Win” screening party in New York on March 16, 2011 | Source: Getty Images
Going Under the Knife
In May 2016, after enduring bullying and struggling with weight loss, Sidibe underwent laparoscopic bariatric surgery. She made the decision after she and her brother were diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes.
The actress did the procedure because she didn’t want to worry about the effects that come with having diabetes. She explained, “I genuinely [would] worry all the time about losing my toes.”
Gabourey Sidibe at the 13th premiere and after party of the New York Film Festival Opening Night Gala on September 30, 2016 | Source: Getty Images
Sidibe expressed frustration that people assumed they cared more about her health than she did. “But I care more than anybody really knows. Of course I care. It’s been my body my whole life, and I didn’t want to be afraid anymore. And I’ve been feeling like that for some time,” she said.
Even after surgery, she continued to obsess over her body, eating habits, and weight. However, she learned to trust herself and embraced the mantra “faith over fear,” understanding that her decisions were personal.
Gabourey Sidibe at the 27th Annual Beat the Odds ceremony in Los Angeles on December 7, 2017 | Source: Getty Images
Initially, she weighed herself five or six times daily, tracking natural fluctuations. Eventually, she stopped that behavior and now weighs herself every two weeks or whenever she feels the need.
For the first 17 days post-surgery, Sidibe consumed only liquids and became depressed. However, by 2017, she was following meal plans, eating five times a day, cooking, consulting her nutritionist, and using apps to log her meals.
Gabourey Sidibe at the NAACP Image Awards in Los Angeles on February 11, 2017 | Source: Getty Images
She also became more active, using her Apple Watch to track her movements. The actress had tricycles both at her Los Angeles home and on set in Chicago, riding them during lunch breaks.
She revealed that she felt stronger, more mobile, and no longer feared losing her toes. After her breakout role in “Precious,” she was featured in People magazine’s World’s Most Beautiful issue, an honor she called “really dope!”
Gabourey Sidibe at the Variety Cannes Lions Studio at the Cannes Lions Festival in France on June 21, 2017 | Source: Getty Images
Still, Sidibe acknowledged that she likely would not have been included if she weren’t an actress. She pointed out that such lists typically feature celebrities, not regular people.
While she believes she’s beautiful—crediting her parents for her features—she often doubts whether others genuinely see her that way. “Other than my very obvious beautiful [expletive] features, like my cheekbones, my skin-tone? Get out of here. Gorgeous!” she said, affirming her self-worth with humor.
The actress admitted that she spent much of her life hearing she was ugly, both from outsiders and within her own community. Even after being named one of the Most Beautiful at 26, internalizing that recognition was difficult.
Decades of negative conditioning weren’t easily undone, even by career success. Though she now believes in her own beauty, she remains skeptical of outside praise.
“Yeah, I’m beautiful, but I’m not convinced that you’re convinced of that,” she said. Sidibe described her beauty as something deeply personal: “My beauty is like my own secret in this way.” She explained that maintaining confidence is a daily practice, not a permanent achievement.
Confidence, for her, is like applying lipstick—it needs daily renewal. High heels, a good hairstyle, intelligence, friends, and humor all contribute to her sense of self-worth. For Sidibe, confidence isn’t automatic; it’s something she cultivates consciously. Despite her size, she enjoys photo shoots and embraces her body.
Accepting Herself and Fighting for Others
Sidibe once said about photo shoots, “I feel like a model. It justifies everyone in my life who told me I wouldn’t be anything until I lost weight.” It also justified the little girl who cried, thinking she didn’t belong in front of a camera.
However, reaching that confidence took time, only happening around age 21. She recalled becoming tired of letting others define her worth. Lee Daniels, the director of “Precious,” had high praise for her.
He said, “[Gabby] may be in a state of denial or on a higher plane than the rest of us, but either way, she breaks your heart in the movie.” Responding to his comment, she stated, “I was like, ‘What the hell? I’m in denial?’ No, I know what I look like. I’m very much aware.”
When asked where her confidence came from, she explained, “It came from me.” She added, “One day I decided that I was beautiful, and so I carried out my life as if I was a beautiful girl.”
Sidibe said what helps her is wearing the colors she loves and the makeup that makes her feel pretty. Advising others struggling with self-image, she said, “It doesn’t have anything to do with how the world perceives you. What matters is what you see. Your body is your temple, it’s your home, and you must decorate it.”
In 2021, she partnered with the Child Mind Institute and its May Mental Health Awareness campaign. Her own struggles with depression inspired her to work alongside the nonprofit organization to launch Getting Better Together.
The star revealed that she was 19 or 20 when she was diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and an eating disorder. In a video, the actress shared, “I remember having almost no one, really, to turn to. I couldn’t talk about it with my parents, or my friends or my friend’s parents. Everyone would tell me I was too young, too young to feel sad all the time or too young to feel stressed out.”
She explained how people around her tried to convince her that she wasn’t feeling what she felt. Fortunately, her instincts, which told her something was wrong, were louder, and she managed to save herself.
However, she recognized that not everyone had the ability to do the same or even to recognize that they needed help. That realization inspired her to start the Getting Better Together initiative. She urged, “If you or a young person you know is struggling, please go to ChildMind.org for resources and help.” Since then, she’s gotten married and welcomed children.
Celebrating Love and Growth
Gabourey Sidibe has since married Brandon Frankel, and together they share two children. In April 2025, the couple uploaded various images of their twins, Cooper and Maya, as they celebrated their first birthday.
The proud parents reflected on a full year filled with love and laughter. They described the twins as hilarious, sweet, and remarkably well-behaved. From walking and talking to dancing, hugging, and even demanding songs or calling every animal “CAT!”, the little ones have blossomed into vibrant mini humans.
Their parents expressed feeling honored to watch them grow and excited for all the learning and discovery ahead.
“We LOVE being your parents—the best is yet to come!” they wrote in a heartfelt celebration of the milestone.
The month before, the couple celebrated their wedding anniversary with help from Brides magazine.
For their fourth anniversary, they graced the magazine’s cover in 2022, and the publication honored them by inviting readers to revisit their love story through a special link in their bio.
When I Brought a New Woman to a Party After My Divorce, My Ex-wife Blurted, ‘You Idiot!’ & Burst into Laughter
Marcus thought he’d done everything right after deciding to divorce his wife, Izzy. But his new girlfriend’s presence at his daughter’s 15th birthday party ended up with cackling laughs, a terrible slap, and a revelation he never expected.
I thought I was on the correct path when someone new and exciting came into my life. It was impulsive and fast, but it felt like the right thing, and it ruined everything.
After 20 years of marriage to Isabel, or “Izzy” to everyone who knew her well, I’d thought there would be no excitement left in life. Nothing new. But then, out of the blue, I met Jenna at a friend’s board game night that my wife didn’t attend.
A woman at a board game party | Source: Midjourney
Before you get any ideas, I’m 49. My wife is 47, and Jenna is 46. This isn’t the typical story of a man who leaves his wife for a young girl.
Jenna felt like someone had lit a spark in me I didn’t even know I’d lost. We just clicked. I can’t explain it in a less cliché way. But I knew one thing for certain: I would never cheat on my wife.
So, I faced the difficult choice of picking between 20 years of loyalty and two kids versus the chance of a new romance. It would’ve been a no-brainer for most people.
A businessman thinking | Source: Midjourney
But it felt right, especially after I ran into Jenna at two different coffee shops, and even the supermarket, days after the party. It was fate, so impulse took over.
I told Izzy I wanted a divorce. Remembering that day is still painful and makes me want to go back in time, like that scene in “Interstellar.”
“MAKE HIM STAY, MURPH!”
A man in an astronaut suit | Source: Midjourney
Anyway, it was late in the evening when I got home from work, and the house felt emptier than usual. I knew our daughter, Maya, was at volleyball practice. Our son, Caleb, had his own college dorm, but he was sometimes around. Not that night, though.
I’d been thinking about Jenna all day and felt guilt as I spotted my wife. She was going through some work emails, and when I walked in, she looked up with her familiar warm smile. I wished Izzy wouldn’t have grinned at me.
Before I knew it, the words tumbled out: “I think… I think we need to talk about us. About…me wanting a divorce.”
A man looking nervous as he speaks | Source: Midjourney
The smile on her face and the light in her eyes faded into blankness. She was quiet for a long time after, and I was almost grateful for that silence.
But when she finally spoke, her voice was steady but strained. “You’re serious? After twenty years, just like that? Out of the blue?”
I tried to explain, saying things like “We’ve grown apart” and “It’s not you, it’s me.” More clichés that tasted bitter in my mouth. Yet, Izzy listened without interrupting.
A woman looking serious | Source: Midjourney
Eventually, she nodded, a sad smile barely curving her lips. “If this is what you want, Marcus, I won’t stand in your way. I hope you never come to regret this.”
***
That night haunted me for weeks, but Jenna and I moved forward. And surprisingly, the divorce went smoothly. Caleb and Maya seemed to handle the news as well as they could.
It was also good timing because my son was 19 and my daughter was almost 15. They could understand more easily.
After I explained, they nodded and acted politely, though my daughter barely looked at me. Caleb wrinkled his nose several times.
A young man looking angry | Source: Midjourney
I knew I should’ve talked to them before jumping the gun, but I didn’t want to overthink it or spoil my chance at this piece of happiness.
Meanwhile, Jenna was a breath of fresh air. She made me feel younger, and freer, like I could finally be myself again. Our dates were amazing, and she was completely focused on me. I was the sun in her galaxy. That makes a man stand taller and, honestly, more confident.
After that, things just fell into place. The divorce was amicable, though lengthy because of all our assets and the laws in our state.
As man holding some documents and smiling slightly | Source: Midjourney
My kids were also adjusting seemingly okay, though Maya had to alternate between houses. But this was our new normal, and I was genuinely happy.
Months passed, and the divorce was finalized without an issue. So, when Maya’s 15th birthday came up, I thought long and hard but concluded that it was time to introduce Jenna to everyone.
It wasn’t the easiest decision because the party was being held at my ex-mother-in-law’s house, but many of my relatives would also be there. In my mind, it was the right time.
An older woman at the front porch of a nice house | Source: Midjourney
Jenna and I walked through the door, and many did double takes. Still, my family was friendly and welcoming while I introduced my beautiful girlfriend proudly.
As we moved deeper into the house, toward the backyard, I caught sight of David, Izzy’s brother. He looked us up and down as his eyes narrowed and his jaw clenched. I froze for a second.
But Jenna leaned into me, squeezing my arm, and whispered, “Ignore him.” I smiled at her, nodded at my still-scowling ex-brother-in-law, and finally stepped out into the backyard, where most of the attendees were.
A backyard where people are gathered for a party | Source: Midjourney
I was looking for Maya and Caleb, specifically. But I wasn’t distracted enough to not notice the immediate change in the air.
The chatter had stopped, and only the music from unseen speakers kept going. Instead of my children, I saw my ex-wife first.
She was by the drinks table, talking to some people until she noticed the atmosphere shift, too, and turned toward us. Her eyes widened, and for a moment, she looked completely stunned as her eyes darted between me and Jenna.
A woman stunned at something standing to the side | Source: Midjourney
I expected the tension. I even thought she would be angry, but I was sure I could explain any trouble away. Except, without warning, Izzy blurted, “You idiot!” and burst into laughter. The sound was loud and uncontrollable.
I froze again, as everyone turned to her in confusion. My kids, who I finally noticed, had been at a table eating burgers, but they stood and looked just as perplexed as everyone else.
I looked at my girlfriend and noticed her smile had frozen. She looked around and swallowed, nervously. But before I could ask her or Izzy what was going on, I saw Gloria, Izzy’s mother, stomping toward us.
An older woman angry | Source: Midjourney
Her face was red with anger. She stopped just inches from Jenna and, without warning, slapped her hard across the face.
My girlfriend staggered back, her hand flying up to her cheek, eyes wide with shock. I moved forward, trying to shield her, but Gloria wasn’t finished.
“How dare you show your face here!” she screamed her fury at Jenna. “After everything you did to my daughter? You think you can walk in here?!”
“Gloria, what the hell are you talking about?” I demanded, trying to push her away gently.
A man looking confused and upset | Source: Midjourney
Suddenly, my ex-brother-in-law stepped forward and put his arms on Gloria to hold her back while glaring at Jenna with open hatred.
“You really don’t know, do you?” he spat, looking at me like I was the biggest fool on earth. “This woman,” he pointed at Jenna, “was Izzy’s high school bully. She tormented her, and it was relentless!”
My stomach twisted as I looked at Jenna, who was staring at the ground, refusing to meet my eyes. “Is… is this true?” I whispered.
Jenna hesitated, then nodded tightly. “Yes, but that was years ago. I was young and stupid…”
A woman looking serious | Source: Midjourney
David cut her off. “It wasn’t just high school, Marcus! She tried to get Izzy kicked out of college. Spread lies and accused her of cheating on exams and plagiarizing papers all her freshman year.”
I stepped back, shaking my head. “No, that can’t be,” I said, turning to Jenna. “Tell them that wasn’t you!”
“It was her,” David spat. “She almost destroyed my sister’s future because she was too stupid to get into college!”
A middle-aged man in front of an older woman looking angry | Source: Midjourney
Those words set fire to Jenna. “I WASN’T STUPID!” she yelled at him but quickly turned to me. “Yes, I did those things, Marcus. It’s true. But people change. Doesn’t that count for something?”
My head was spinning. “Did you know she was my wife when we met and kept running into each other?” I asked.
Jenna looked down and nodded.
“GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!” Gloria screamed, thrashing in David’s arms.
An upset older woman pointing | Source: Midjourney
“Please, Marcus. Leave with me, and I’ll explain everything,” Jenna said, trying to touch my arm, but I was done with her.
“No,” I said, and this time, my voice cracked.
A hard look came over her face. “You think you’re so perfect? You think you didn’t hurt anyone? You left your wife and kids just because you were bored. This isn’t all on me!”
A woman looking upset | Source: Midjourney
I don’t know if she said that out of spite, to hurt me, or to justify herself. But she turned and walked away with her head held high, though I could see the redness of her cheek from Gloria’s slap.
When she was out of sight, I noticed the entire backyard was silent. Everyone watched me, waiting for something.
There was pity in my relatives’ eyes, but contempt in Izzy’s side of the family. Caleb stood off to the side with his arms crossed and his face tight. Maya looked at me like I was a stranger.
A teenage girl, looking sad | Source: Midjourney
“Dad,” she whispered. “How could you?”
“Maya, I didn’t know any of this!” I cried out.
Caleb walked forward. “Honestly? You didn’t know?” he asked. My son had always been the suspicious type, always analyzing why people did or acted in certain ways.
“It doesn’t matter!” Maya continued angrily. “You broke our family for NOTHING!”
Those words hit me harder than anything else that day.
A man looking sad | Source: Midjourney
I’d spent months convincing myself I was doing the right thing. That it was meant to be because things were going so smoothly. Everyone seemed happy!
But my kids weren’t. At all. That’s what I realized at that moment. Yet, I still felt like the wronged party.
Throughout all this, Izzy had said nothing. She stood there and watched it play out like it was none of her business. I don’t know why I hated that so much. It was to her that I yelled, “IT WASN’T MY FAULT! I DIDN’T KNOW!” before walking out in shame.
A sad man looking at something to the side | Source: Midjourney
***
In the days that followed, I calmed down and tried reaching out to my kids. Caleb responded occasionally but was always short with his answers. Maya didn’t respond at all. I didn’t dare call Izzy.
At first, I was defensive and told myself that no part of this was my doing. I had no clue. I’d just fallen in love. My relatives who were at the party eventually understood that, but the fact that my children couldn’t made me resentful.
After all, I’d cut Jenna off for good. She kept texting me, but I eventually blocked her. But no one was giving me the chance to explain it. Weeks later, I ran into my cousin and vented some of my feelings to her. By the end of that meeting, she gave me the business card of a therapist.
A woman holding a business card | Source: Midjourney
I called only a few days later. One thing he said actually put things into perspective.
“Whether you knew or not is irrelevant. You chose the divorce. You hurt your family on an impulse, as you’ve told me,” the doctor began. “What your ex-in-laws revealed was a bombshell, for sure. But at the end of the day, what matters now? Do you want to lose your kids for good?”
No, I didn’t want that. And after that simple realization, everything else he said in just one session made sense. I saw all the selfishness and stupidity I’d displayed. So, I took action.
A man in an office | Source: Midjourney
First, I called David, and I got the full detailed story of how Jenna almost ruined Izzy’s future. They’d needed lawyers and cops to finally get her to stop and disappear from their lives. During our talk, he called me many names and insults and told me Jenna had played me.
I knew and was glad that, at least, my love for her was gone. She wasn’t going to play me ever again. I asked for David’s forgiveness and he gave it grudgingly.
Afterward, I called my ex-mother-in-law and begged her to see my perspective. She forgave me only after giving me a two-hour lecture. She also told me I would never find someone as great as her daughter. That was true.
An older woman looking angry while on the phone | Source: Midjourney
I would never have Izzy as my wife again, but she was the mother of my children and the person I called next. This was the most painful conversation. Aside from forgiveness, I had to beg her for help with the kids.
I couldn’t let my relationship with them be completely destroyed. Fortunately, Izzy was gracious enough to agree after telling me that I really had no way of knowing who Jenna was. I breathed a sigh at last.
It took several weeks, but eventually, she called me, saying Caleb and Maya were open to having a deep conversation with me. We had to start slow, though. It had to be on their terms.
A man looking thoughtful | Source: Midjourney
This is my ONE chance to make things TRULY right and get my children back. I’m seeing them tomorrow. Wish me luck.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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