Narcissism is a phenomenon in which a person with low self-esteem is afraid of losing authority in the eyes of others, and they begin to manipulate their friends, colleagues, and family to appear better than they really are. These people are so determined. We decided to imagine what it’s like to have your beloved mother like this.
They have a distorted perception of love and achievement, making it nearly impossible for them to make you feel good enough.
Their self-worth hinges on external validation and a facade of perfection. This creates a moving target for your worth in their eyes. You can achieve great things, but their praise might be laced with criticism, or they might simply shift the goalposts to a new, unattainable standard. This leaves you perpetually striving for an unachievable level of approval.
Additionally, their happiness is often transactional. They dole out affection when it suits them, leaving you confused about what truly earns their love. This inconsistency fosters insecurity and self-doubt, making you question your own value no matter what you accomplish. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s inability to offer genuine, unconditional love creates a core belief that you’ll never be good enough, regardless of your efforts.
Narcissistic mothers won’t let their kids’ successes overshadow their own.
Narcissistic mothers crave attention and view their children’s achievements through a distorted lens. While they might brag about their child’s successes superficially, they can’t handle being outshined. This stems from a deep insecurity and a fragile sense of self. Their child’s triumphs become a threat, rather than a source of pride. They may downplay the accomplishment, subtly criticize, or even try to one-up their child with their own past glories, all to maintain a sense of superiority.
She’s only worried about her own problems.
A narcissistic mother’s world often revolves around herself, leaving little room for her child’s emotions or experiences. Their own needs for validation and admiration take priority. They struggle to empathize with their child’s struggles, viewing them as inconveniences or attention-grabbing tactics. This is because the narcissist lacks the emotional maturity to see their child as a separate being with valid feelings. Their child’s problems become burdens to be managed, rather than opportunities for connection and support.
These mothers humiliate their children.
There are a couple of reasons why narcissistic mothers might resort to humiliating their children. One is to maintain control. By publicly criticizing, mocking, or exaggerating their child’s flaws, the mother keeps them feeling insecure and dependent. This fragile self-esteem makes the child less likely to challenge the mother’s authority or seek independence.
Another reason is to bolster the narcissist’s own fragile ego. Putting their child down creates a clear hierarchy where the mother is always superior. This can be especially pronounced if the child shows any potential to outshine the mother, triggering a need to cut them down to size. Ultimately, the humiliation serves the narcissist’s own needs for power and self-importance, leaving the child feeling emotionally bruised and diminished.
She makes kids feel guilty for getting something.
Narcissistic mothers often induce guilt in their children for receiving gifts or achieving success because it reinforces their own sense of control. They might make comments like, «You don’t deserve this, there are others who need it more,» implying the child is selfish for wanting something good. This guilt trip serves a few purposes.
Firstly, it keeps the child feeling indebted and obligated to please the mother. Secondly, it deflects attention away from the mother’s inability to be genuinely happy for her child’s good fortune. Ultimately, by making their child feel guilty, the narcissistic mother manipulates the situation to maintain the focus on themselves and their emotional needs.
She thinks she always deserves the best.
A narcissistic mother’s belief in her own deservingness stems from a distorted sense of self-importance. Deep down, she craves admiration and validation, and views herself as superior to others. This inflated ego convinces her that she deserves the best in life, regardless of her actions or contributions. It’s a constant need to be seen as special and entitled.
This sense of entitlement can manifest in various ways, from expecting lavish gifts and unwavering support to feeling justified in cutting in line or bending the rules. For a narcissistic mother, the «best» isn’t just about material possessions, but also about the constant flow of attention, praise, and control that reinforces her grandiosity.
Her love is unstable. When she needs something, she’s kind. When she doesn’t, she’s rude.
Narcissistic mothers often exhibit a transactional kind of love, where affection is dangled like a carrot. When their needs are unmet, their self-absorption takes center stage. They might become critical, dismissive, or even cold towards their child. Conversely, when they require something — maybe errands run, emotional support, or a public image boost — the kindness faucet turns on.
This emotional inconsistency leaves the child confused and insecure. They never quite know what version of their mother they’ll encounter, creating a constant state of walking on eggshells to avoid the unpredictable shift from loving to cold.
She cares too much about how other people see her.
A narcissistic mother craves external validation and uses how others perceive her as a mirror for her fragile self-esteem. Her self-worth hinges on admiration and a cultivated image of perfection. This makes her hyper-aware of how others view her, particularly in her role as a mother. She might brag excessively about her child’s accomplishments, not necessarily out of pride, but to reflect well on her own parenting skills.
Conversely, any perceived shortcomings in her child become a threat to her image. She might downplay their achievements or even criticize them publicly to maintain a facade of control and superiority in the eyes of others. Ultimately, the well-being and genuine connection with her child become secondary to managing the public perception of a perfect mother and family.
She complains about people that do something against her will.
Narcissistic mothers view any challenge to their control as a personal attack. Their rigid sense of self-importance dictates that things should go their way. When someone, especially their child, dares to act independently or disagree, it triggers a deep sense of entitlement being violated. They may lash out by complaining excessively, playing the victim, or attempting to manipulate the situation back to their desired outcome.
These complaints serve a dual purpose: firstly, to punish the person for disobeying, and secondly, to garner sympathy or support from others, further reinforcing their position of authority. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s complaints about those who defy her are less about the specific action and more about maintaining a power dynamic where she remains in control.
Narcissistic mothers are jealous of their daughters’ beauty. And they pretend to be caring.
A narcissistic mother’s insecurity can turn a daughter’s blossoming beauty into a source of hidden jealousy. They may outwardly offer compliments laced with backhanded remarks, like «You look pretty, but maybe try a different shade of lipstick.» This thinly veiled criticism undermines the daughter’s confidence while maintaining a facade of caring.
Deeper down, the mother might feel threatened by her daughter’s youthful beauty, a stark reminder of her own fading youth and potential loss of attention. This jealousy can manifest in various ways, from sabotaging the daughter’s attempts to dress up for an event to subtly comparing her looks to others. The narcissistic mother’s mask of concern hides a desire to control the narrative, ensuring her daughter’s beauty doesn’t overshadow her own.
She criticizes a lot but almost never gives praise.
Narcissistic mothers often fall into a harsh critic pattern for a few reasons. Firstly, their self-worth is fueled by a need for control and a sense of superiority. Constant criticism keeps their child feeling insecure and dependent, less likely to challenge their authority. Secondly, genuine praise can feel threatening to a narcissist. If their child is successful or confident, it might overshadow the mother’s own perceived importance.
Instead of celebrating their child’s achievements, they might downplay them or even resort to nitpicking flaws. Ultimately, the lack of praise becomes a tool for manipulation. By withholding validation, the narcissistic mother keeps her child striving for approval, a dynamic that reinforces her own sense of power and control.
They’re angry if someone else is in the spotlight.
A narcissistic mother thrives on being the center of attention. Their fragile self-esteem craves constant validation and admiration. When someone else, especially their child, receives praise or recognition, it’s perceived as a direct threat. This triggers a surge of anger because it disrupts their carefully curated image of superiority. They might downplay the other person’s accomplishment, subtly criticize them, or even try to steal the spotlight back to themselves with tales of their own past glories.
This anger isn’t about protecting their child, but about protecting their own inflated sense of self-importance. They can’t bear to share the spotlight, and their reaction reflects a deep-seated insecurity that can leave their child feeling confused and emotionally neglected.
Narcissistic mothers might constantly remind you of the things they’ve done for you.
One is to create a sense of obligation and guilt. By replaying a litany of sacrifices and favors, they make you feel indebted, making it harder to disagree with them or assert your independence. It’s a way to control you through emotional manipulation. Another reason is to inflate their own sense of importance.
Recounting their «good deeds» reinforces their narrative as the selfless caregiver deserving of constant praise and gratitude. Ultimately, these constant reminders are about them, not you. It’s a tactic to maintain power within the relationship and ensure you remain focused on their needs rather than developing your own sense of self.
These narcissistic traits can take a toll. But there’s good news! Our next piece dives into how these experiences shape you, and what you heal from it.
Bride’s Mom Sees Groom Entering Bathroom with Bridesmaid in the Middle of Wedding – Story of the Day
Iris was so delighted. Her daughter Eliza was all set to get married to the love of her life, Daniel. So Iris shuffled toward her future son-in-law to give him her late husband’s diamond cufflinks.
But Daniel was walking too fast, and Iris had to race her achy knees. She watched him approach Melissa, one of the bridesmaids, and whisper something to her.
Then, they both walked away from the venue toward the back of the restaurant. Curious, Iris tiptoed behind them, only to see them slipping into a bathroom together…
For illustration purposes only | Source: Getty Images
Iris slightly opened the door, and her heart sank when she peered inside.
“I can’t wait anymore, babe,” Daniel tugged at Mellissa’s waist, pulling her closer.
“Not now, darling,” Melissa crooned. “If someone finds out, our plans will be ruined. Patience, babe…you just need to stay married for a little. Think of the big payday we’ll get when you divorce your boring wife. Millions of dollars worth…but now control yourself!”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Unsplash
Iris leaned over and glimpsed at Daniel and Melissa on the bathroom mirror. They were locked in each others’ arms, kissing passionately.
“Not now…” Melissa muttered. “We have to get back.”
“Not until you promise to meet me at my house later,” Daniel said. “We carry on like we always have…after Eliza’s gone to work!”
Melissa giggled. Unable to see or take it anymore, Iris hurried away to warn her daughter.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
Iris hurried to the dining room, but Eliza was not there. Suddenly, the MC called for everyone’s attention.
“Before we proceed to the wedding hall, the bride has a special gift for the groom,” he announced.
Eliza appeared on the stage and took the mic from the MC.
“…I’ve waited for a long time to find a real love…and I want to dedicate this to him!”
As the band behind Eliza started playing the chords, she sang a melodious love song. A hush fell over the room as Eliza finished singing.
The guests applauded, and Daniel rushed onto the stage and hugged her. Iris knew it would crush her daughter’s heart when she learned the truth about Daniel’s scheming.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
The MC interrupted the bustling wedding scene. “And now… love birds, your first dance!”
Iris weaved through the crowd and approached her daughter. “Eliza, I have to tell you something…it’s about Daniel.”
“Is everything okay, Mom?”
“Sweetie, he is…Can we talk privately?”
“Daniel’s waiting for me. We’ll talk after the first dance, okay?”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Unsplash
Melissa sidled around Iris and approached the bride. “Daniel’s waiting for you in the dance hall.”
Eliza was so gorgeous in her wedding dress as she followed Melissa to the door. Iris was shattered, and she did not have the courage to break her daughter’s heart on her big day.
So she watched in agony as the wedding proceeded. There was nothing she could do to bring Daniel and Melissa’s affair to light. There was only one way to expose him: Iris had to ensure Eliza caught him red-handed.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Unsplash
Eliza and Daniel drove Iris to the airport the following Monday to catch an early flight back home. Iris was disgusted to watch Daniel acting so lovey-dovey with Eliza.
Iris hugged Eliza goodbye before heading to the boarding lounge. Around 15 minutes later, she called a cab and returned to Eliza’s house.
Iris knew Melissa and Daniel would meet after Eliza went to work, and she decided to catch them.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Unsplash
When Iris arrived at Eliza’s house, she saw Melissa’s car parked in the driveway. She quickly called Eliza.
“Sweetie, my flight was canceled,” Iris told her daughter. “I hailed a taxi to your place…I’m feeling dizzy…can you meet me there?”
“Oh, God, Mom! I’m busy…but don’t worry. I’ll call Daniel and ask him, alright?”
“No, don’t call him. I want you to come here…please, it’s important.”
Eliza sighed. “Fine…I’m coming.”
Iris hung up and crept up to the window.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
She peered through the glass pane and saw nothing strange at first. Then, the door swung open as Daniel and Melissa entered the room, kissing each other.
He set her down, and the pair started making out on the couch.
Iris glanced at the street, but there was still no sign of Eliza. She peeked through the window and quickly looked away in disgust, seeing how things inside had heated up.
Iris stood by the curb, praying for her daughter to be there soon. Five minutes later, Eliza pulled up.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Unsplash
“Mom, are you okay?” Eliza approached Iris.
“No, I’m not. Your husband and that Melissa. They’re in there…fooling around.”
“WHAT?” Eliza was shocked.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. I overheard them on your wedding day…”
“You overheard what?”
“They are having an affair…and have planned to swindle you and take your money when Daniel leaves you,” Iris replied as Eliza froze.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
“Daniel and Melissa?” Eliza’s breath shuddered. “He’s always been nice to me…how did I not have a clue about this affair?”
“They’re in there right now…” Iris pointed to the door. “Why don’t you go see with your own eyes?”
Eliza nodded curtly and wiped her tears. She angrily marched to the front door, and Iris was right behind her.
They tiptoed to the living room. The sound of Daniel and Melissa giggling behind the couch echoed in the hallway.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
“What the hell’s going on here?” she yelled.
Iris rushed in but was caught off-guard by the sight before her shocked eyes. It didn’t make any sense.
Just mere minutes ago, when she looked through the window, Daniel and Melissa were engrossed in their intimate moment. But now, they were casually seated on the sofa like nothing had happened.
“Eliza? What do you mean?” Daniel replied. “Melissa and I were discussing work…Didn’t I tell you I’d be working from home this week?”
“You LIAR!” Iris pointed at Daniel. “I saw the both of you doing ‘things’ on that sofa…you must’ve seen us coming and gotten dressed.”
“Gotten dressed?” Melissa frowned. “Jesus…you think Daniel and I are having…an affair?”
“Just shut up,” Eliza snapped. “My mother saw you two in the bathroom on our wedding day…and now, in our house. You were so insistent on sharing our assets and money when we got married. And now I know why…Daniel, you married me for my money.’
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
“That’s not true!” Daniel denied the allegation. “Being married means sharing everything. What’s mine is yours, Eliza. I’m sorry your mother thinks so cheap of me…but she’s mistaken. Melissa and I are friends and business partners. I thought you… trusted me.”
“I did, Daniel. But why would my Mom lie to me? I just…I just don’t understand.”
“Eliza, I love you…and I can prove it,” Daniel took Eliza’s hand.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a bunch of keys.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
“See this?” He dropped the keys into Eliza’s palm. “I made the final payment for our new home yesterday. Melissa was here to help me with an idea to surprise you. But everything’s ruined now.”
“He’s lying, Eliza,” Iris insisted as she watched Eliza lift the keys with her trembling fingers.
But Eliza didn’t seem to hear. “You were going to surprise me?” she whispered.
“Yes! I wanted to drive you there in a blindfold…walk you onto the lawn…and show you our dream home. But I guess I’ll be staying there alone now. There’s no point in sharing my life with a woman who doesn’t trust me.”
Daniel snatched the keys from Eliza and stormed to their bedroom.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
“Wait, you can’t just leave me like this,” Eliza ran after Daniel. “I don’t doubt you…but I know Mom would never tell me something like this unless it’s true.”
Daniel stopped and turned around. “I don’t know what your Mom saw and heard. I’ve offered you proof. If you still don’t believe me, I don’t think this marriage can last.”
“I trust you…that’s why it hurts so much to think of you cheating on me. I love you, Daniel…”
“I love you too,” Daniel said. “I don’t understand what went wrong to make it easy for you to believe such awful things about me. If you truly believe that I’ve been unfaithful to you, tell me now. I’ll pack my things and leave you…forever.”
“I trust you! Please forgive me,” Eliza hugged Daniel as Iris couldn’t believe it.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
Iris’s heart raced in her chest. It was all too much for her. Her knees gave way as a dull pain spread through her chest. The last thing Iris heard was the piercing shrill of ambulance sirens.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
Iris was rushed to the hospital, where the doctors informed her she’d had a heart attack.
“You scared me, Mom…I’m glad you’re okay,” Eliza visited Iris and hugged her.
“I’ll feel a lot better if you tell me that you’ve kicked that fraudster and his mistress out.”
Eliza rolled her eyes. “Mom, please don’t talk about my husband like that. You’ve mistaken things about him…”
“Wake up, Eliza. He’s just using you. All that nonsense about buying a house was his way of guilt-tripping you into staying.”
“But it proves he loves me. Why would he want me to stay if he was only after my money?”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
“Why don’t you check your prenup, Eliza?” Iris snapped. “Good Lord, how do I make you understand that your husband is a gold-digger?”
“Mom, please stop this. Let’s not assume things and punish Daniel for something he’s never done.”
“Fine then,” Iris said. “If you don’t want to open your eyes and see the reality, then things are going to be different from now on.”
“What do you mean, Mom?”
Iris reached for her phone and dialed a number.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
“Hello, Mr. Simms…I’m calling you about my will,” Iris told her lawyer. “I want to make an urgent change. I’ve decided to leave all my wealth to charity. My daughter will not inherit a dime. And I want you to freeze her bank account. Yes…immediately. Thank you.”
“What?” Eliza stood shocked. “You can’t be serious.”
“I’m sorry, Eliza, but you left me with no choice. I don’t want our family’s hard-earned money being palmed to a gold-digger using you.”
“Fine!” Eliza yelled. “If you’re cutting me off your will, so be it. I don’t want to see you again.”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
The following few weeks were the most challenging days for Iris. She underwent heart surgery and was released from the hospital after a long recovery period.
She felt very lonely and even tried calling Eliza. But her daughter never answered, and Iris was heartbroken. She called her every day and sent her text messages.
Iris wasn’t surprised when there was no reply. But one day, her doorbell rang. When Iris opened the door, she froze in disbelief.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Unsplash
“Eliza?!” Iris teared up as a wave of emotions washed over her. “Sweetie…”
Iris stopped talking when Eliza looked at her with red, puffy eyes.
“It’s Daniel, isn’t it?” She wrapped her arms around Eliza’s shoulders and led her inside.
“I’m sorry, Mom…I should’ve listened to you,” Eliza sobbed. “You were right!”
Iris hugged Eliza. She hated seeing her daughter so heartbroken but was glad she was finally free from that money-grubber, Daniel.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Getty Images
Tell us what you think about this story, and share it with your friends. It might inspire them and brighten their day.
Ally bursts into the church and interrupts the bride, who is about to finish saying her wedding vow. Ally introduces herself as the groom’s ex-girlfriend and accuses him of being a con man.
This piece is inspired by stories from the everyday lives of our readers and written by a professional writer. Any resemblance to actual names or locations is purely coincidental. All images are for illustration purposes only. Share your story with us; maybe it will change someone’s life.
Leave a Reply