Unique divorce announcement
Dear former partner,
I trust this letter finds you in good health and high spirits. It is with mixed emotions that I communicate my decision not to return to our shared abode. Reflecting on our seven years together, it is evident that change is inevitable, and in this case, it is necessary for both of us.
The recent fortnight has been quite tumultuous, culminating in a decisive moment when your manager called to inform me of your abrupt resignation. Upon your return home a week ago, my attempt to surprise you with your favorite dish and a fresh haircut went unnoticed. Clad in a pair of brand-new silk boxers, I hoped to rekindle the connection we once shared.
Regrettably, you devoured the meal in record time, indulged in your television dramas, and retired to bed without acknowledging the effort I put into the evening. Our communication has dwindled, expressions of love have become scarce, and our intimacy is but a distant memory. Whether this stems from infidelity or a loss of affection, I have chosen to part ways.
Wishing you a fulfilling journey ahead, your former partner.
P.S. Please refrain from attempting to locate me; your sister and I have decided to start anew in West Virginia. May life bring you joy.
To my previous spouse,
Your letter has undeniably added a touch of humor to my day. Despite the seven years of marriage, your perception of yourself as a kind and wonderful man hasn’t always aligned with reality.
Television dramas have been my escape from the constant complaints, although their effectiveness is inconsistent.
I did notice your new haircut last week, though my initial thought was that it had a surprisingly feminine touch!
My preference for TV dramas aside, I had to keep quiet about your attempt at preparing my favorite dinner since I gave up pork seven years ago. As for the silk boxers, the $49.99 price tag raised an eyebrow, especially considering my sister borrowed $50 from me that very morning.
Despite our differences, I held on to the belief that our love could endure. Imagine my surprise when, following my $10 million lottery win, I returned home to find you gone.
Everything happens for a reason, and I genuinely hope you find the fulfilling life you’ve always sought. Please be aware that, as per my attorney, you won’t be receiving any money from me.
Wishing you luck on your journey, your ex-wife, liberated and prosperous.
P.S. In case I haven’t mentioned it before, my sister Carla was born Carl. I trust this revelation won’t pose any issues.
Customers are disappointed to find out the only “In-N-Out” in the city is cIosing
East Oakland residents are disappointed to find out the only “In-N-Out” in the city is cIosing. The popular burger joint blames car break-ins and theft. The restaurant on Oakport Steet is in one of the hotspot areas for cr ime, near 98th Avenue and Hegenberger and it’s an area criminals know they can find unsuspecting tourists coming from the airport.
Although In-N-Out said it’s been a profitabIe location for 18 years, they just can’t ask their employees or customers to work and visit an unsafe environment. While customers aren’t shocked to hear the restaurant is shutting down, many said the city didn’t do enough.
You can’t even leave your car right here to go in there, within one minute your stuff is getting smashed, said Duane Tatum, who was born and raised in East Oakland. The parking Iot is filled with glass.
I love this place. I hate to see it go, said Stanley Simmons, who said his daughter worked at the In-N-Out years ago. On Sunday morning, as In-N-Out executives announced the closure, Oakland police said they arre sted someone for removing an ATM from the wall at the Bank of America less than half a mile away.
Just a couple hundred feet away at the Raising Cane’s on Hegenberger, a manager said the restaurant was forced to cIose their indoor dining area and provide employees with a secure fence for parking, all due to break ins.
It seems like another thing is closing in Oakland, another thing is leaving Oakland, and I get it now – people aren’t trying to deal with this, but we’re the ones, East Oaklanders, that really suffer, said Tatum.
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