A couple of weeks ago, I finally moved in with my husband, which was supposed to be the beginning of a wonderful chapter in our lives. I had no idea that my husband’s 15-year-old son from a previous marriage, named Dave, would prove to be a difficult obstacle to overcome. Though I knew there would be some period of adaptation, I did not expect such an attitude towards my efforts to make the house our cozy place in the form of piles of garbage that Dave, as if on purpose, left scattered throughout the house.
At first, I thought it was a temporary situation, perhaps a teenager’s version of chaos. But days turned into weeks, and the mess only seemed to grow. Empty chip bags, crumpled papers, and discarded clothes adorned every corner of our once-pristine home. It was as if a tornado of teenage negligence had swept through, leaving behind a debris field that would shock even a loving mother.
My comments and requests for cleanliness had no effect on him at all. It was like talking to a wall. I wanted to stop this and somehow decided to act outside the box.
One day, when Dave left for school, I came up with a plan. I was going to defeat this trash invasion, which required a strategy that went beyond mere words. Wandering around the house, armed with trash bags and determination, I picked up every piece of clutter that had settled into our home. I was on a mission to teach Dave a lesson in responsibility.
His room, the center of chaos, was my first target. When I walked in, I was greeted by clothes strewn across the floor, a maze of crumpled papers, and a collection of half-empty soda cans. Without pleasure, but with a feeling of determination, I began to put all the items that were scattered in garbage bags. Papers, cans, his clothes, everything was packed into the bags together. In the end, the room gradually turned from a disaster zone into something resembling order. I packed all the scattered clothes with other trash in a bags.
A similar fate befell the living room, kitchen, and even the bathroom. It was a time-consuming task, but I was sure that if words could not reach him, perhaps these bags would show him how much of a mess he left behind.
‘Families don’t have to look the same’ – Black couple talks about their experience adopting three white children
Sadie and Jarvis Sampson tried for years to have a baby, using every method they could think of. They eventually accepted that they might only ever be an aunt and uncle. Then, one day, they got a text that changed their lives completely.
The couple had been trying to get pregnant since they got married in January 2018, but when it didn’t happen on its own, they tried everything else.
“We used ovulation tests, took prenatal vitamins, tracked cycles with apps, and used fertility monitors,” the Houston mom told Love What Matters.
“We even tried advice from friends, family, and strangers. For 14 months, we tried, prayed, and waited. Month after month, it was always a negative pregnancy test. It seemed like we might need help to conceive, so we even talked to doctors about it.”
Doctors didn’t offer much help to the couple. They mostly told Sadie to lose weight to improve her chances of getting pregnant. With no other advice, she had gastric surgery and lost 28 pounds.
Sadie’s OBGYN was excited about the weight loss and praised her for it.
“She told me that if I wasn’t pregnant within six months, she would refer me to a fertility specialist because she couldn’t prescribe fertility medication herself,” Sadie said. “I was thrilled! We finally got a positive step forward, even if it wasn’t immediate. We were excited about the progress.”
Unfortunately, the couple didn’t get pregnant after Sadie lost the weight, and they felt like they were back where they started.
“I always felt like I was meant to be a mother,” Sadie said. “Even though my surgeon warned me that I’d be very fertile after the surgery, I still wasn’t getting pregnant. So, we gave up and accepted that we might just be aunt and uncle to our nieces and godparents to our goddaughters.”
Just when the couple had decided to stop trying to have a baby, Sadie got a text from a friend asking if they would think about fostering a baby from a couple she knew.
At first, the couple was hesitant because they were told by a caseworker to take care of the baby while the birth mom was getting treatment. They worried they might get too attached. But then, the situation changed.
“The birth mom has decided she wants you to adopt the baby instead,” the caseworker said.
Sadie remembered saying, “‘Holy crap!!’ out loud when she found out she was going to be a mom.
“We went from having no kids to possibly fostering one, to suddenly being told, ‘You’re going to be parents!’ I was still in shock as I listened to the caseworker. I hung up and called my husband, shouting, ‘Babe!! They want us to adopt the baby! We’re going to be parents!’ He said, ‘Wait! REALLY?! I thought they just wanted us to foster him!’ I told him, ‘Nope! They want us to be his mom and dad.’”
The couple spent the weekend trying to take in the shocking news and getting ready, just in case the birth mom changed her mind.
By Monday, they were not only told that the birth mom still wanted them to adopt the baby, but she also wanted to do an independent adoption and was ready to sign the papers that day.
Their baby boy was born at just 33 weeks, which is seven weeks early. He weighed 4 lbs. 5 oz. “He was so tiny, he literally fit in one of my husband’s hands,” Sadie wrote.
“He was wrapped in a white blanket with pink and blue stripes,” Sadie said. “He had a small tube coming out of his nose because he couldn’t eat on his own since he was born early. But he was so cute!!!”
The couple shared their news on social media and were encouraged to create a registry. They listed 72 items, and within just three days, 55 of them were already bought for them.
Ezra Lee’s adoption was finalized in October 2020, and the couple had adorable family photos taken, all wearing t-shirts that said, “Families don’t have to match.”
In 2021, Sadie and Jarvis became parents to twin girls, Journee and Destinee, through embryo donation. True to their family motto, “Families don’t have to match,” the Black couple now has three white children – a boy and two girls.
For anyone who might judge their beautiful family, they have just one response: their family is built on the strongest foundation ever – love.
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