In blended families, it’s common for parents to have differing views on how to handle their children. Colleen’s husband continues to provide financial support to his 19-year-old daughter, who is pregnant and already a mother of two. Meanwhile, Colleen feels that her stepdaughter should not be coddled and needs to learn to take responsibility for her actions. This clash in parenting styles led to a situation that went terribly wrong, and Colleen has shared her story with us.
Here is Colleen’s letter:
Hi Colleen! Thank you for sharing your story with us. We’ve prepared 4 pieces of advice that we believe can help you.
Seek mediation or couples counseling.
Given the emotional and financial conflicts, involving a neutral third party could help. A mediator or counselor can facilitate a discussion between you and your husband to address the underlying issues.
This professional might help clarify each other’s perspectives, restore communication, and find a resolution that acknowledges both your concerns and your husband’s responsibilities.
Reevaluate financial decisions and transparency.
Consider discussing the financial decisions and future planning openly with your husband. Since you drained the shared savings account without his consent, it’s crucial to establish a clear, mutually agreed-upon approach to handling finances moving forward.
This might involve setting up separate accounts for personal expenditures and jointly managed accounts for shared expenses, ensuring that both parties are informed and agree on financial decisions.
Engage in a direct conversation with your stepdaughter.
It may be beneficial to address the situation directly with your stepdaughter. An honest conversation about her expectations and how her actions have impacted your relationship with her father could help clear misunderstandings.
Express your intentions and concerns, and listen to her perspective to potentially reach a better understanding and find common ground.
Consider moving out temporarily for reflection.
If the tension remains high and communication isn’t improving, temporarily moving out might provide space for both you and your husband to reflect on the situation. This physical distance could give you time to think about your relationship and future steps without the constant emotional strain.
Use this time to assess what you both need and whether there’s a path forward that respects both your needs and your husband’s.
Another stepmom dealing with tension is Claudia. When her 32-year-old stepdaughter lost her job and decided to move back in with her father, Claudia insisted that she pay rent. This decision led to an unexpected turn of events, and she reached out to us for advice. Read her story here.
In-N-Out Stuns Fans with Controversial Announcement After 75 Years: A Bold Move of Genius
Few brands have the loyal following of In-N-Out Burger. If you live outside of California, it’s hard to really understand just how beIoved the brand is among its fans. If you live in California, it’s just a part of the experience. Until you leave, that is.
Most of that love comes from the fact that, as far as fast food goes, In-N-Out is about as good as it gets. Of course, a lot of its appeal also comes from the fact that the company’s 385 locations are located almost entirely in California and its neighboring states.
If, however, you live any further east of the Rockies, you’ve been out of luck. If that’s you, your only opportunity has been to find one when you travel west. Well, until now.
Last week, the company announced that it would be opening a corporate hub in Franklin, Tennessee, which will allow it to expand further east. In-N-Out also says it will be opening its first stores in the Nashville area by 2026.
If you’re a fan of animal-style fries, you understand that this is a big deal. It’s also a huge risk for the company and its brand. Here’s why:
This is a company that is fiercely opposed to change. It hasn’t added a menu item since 2018 (hot chocolate). It still sells just burgers, fries, soft drinks, and milkshakes. As a result, the restaurant is known for both fresh, great-tasting food and incredible customer service. I can think of only one other restaurant where you can get in a drive-thru line 30 cars deep and still have hot food in just a few minutes, and that one isn’t open on Sundays.
There is clearly a lot of demand for new locations. That seems like an argument for expanding to new states, but it’s also why the move is risky.
You see, over the past 75 years, In-N-Out has jeaIously guarded its brand. A big part of that has meant recognizing that fast growth isn’t everything if it means compromising quality. After all, quality is its brand.
In-N-Out only uses fresh, never-frozen ingredients–including its beef. That makes its burgers and fries taste better, but it also means the restaurant is limited in the areas it can serve.
The company also doesn’t franchise its locations. That has allowed it to maintain far more control over the level of service its restaurants provide, but has also meant it kept things close to home.
“You put us in every state and it takes away some of its luster,” said In-N-Out president Lynsi Snyder in a 2018 interview. She was right. Part of the reason the company’s burgers have such a loyal following is because they’re hard to get–especially if you live east of the Rocky Mountains.
It takes a lot of courage–if you think about it–to resist the temptation to grow at all costs. The thing is, most companies don’t consider that those costs are real, even if they aren’t immediately obvious. If the quaIity of your product gets worse the more customers you serve, you’re doing it wrong.
If, suddenly, there are In-N-Out Burger locations everywhere, it’s not as special. If you’re used to swinging by the Sepulvida location when you land at Los Angeles International Airport, and eating a Double-Double while watching planes land, it’s not quite as special an experience if you can get one on your way home from work.
On the other hand, there is value in meeting your customers where they are. In-N-Out is a restaurant, after all, not an amusement park. Sure, people look forward to eating there when they travel, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t room to grow–even if that means cautiously.
“Our Customers are our most important asset at In-N-Out, and we very much look forward to serving them in years to come, and becoming part of the wonderfuI communities in The Volunteer State,” said Synder in a statement. That’s an important acknowledgment–the part about customers being the company’s most important asset.
The interesting lesson here is that there is a balance between exclusivity and meeting your customers where they are. For a variety of reasons, In-N-Out has erred on the side of sticking close to home, even if that means it can’t serve all of its customers. That’s been a winning strategy so far, and I don’t think that will change just because it’s sIowly starting to open more locations farther east.
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