Ever find yourself needing a quick pick-me-up during a long day? Laughter is the perfect antidote to stress and boredom. This collection of 11 jokes is sure to deliver a healthy dose of humor.
Get ready to chuckle your way through these hilarious jokes about everything from bar buddies to blundering farmers. Whether you’re a fan of witty wordplay or quirky animal antics, there’s something here to tickle everyone’s funny bone.
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform waddling into a bar | Source: Midjourney
1. Drink Down
A guy walks into a bar and orders two shots. He drinks both and leaves. He does the same thing every day for a while.
One day, the bartender asks, “Why do you always order two shots?”
The guy says, “My brother and I used to drink together all the time, but now he lives far away. So, one shot is for me, and one is for him.”
Two brothers laughing while sitting at a bar | Source: Midjourney
This goes on for a while, and then one day the guy only orders one shot.
The bartender worries and asks, “What happened? Is your brother okay?”
The guy replies, “Yeah, he’s fine. I just quit drinking.”
Man looking sad while sitting at a bar | Source: Midjourney
2. Penguin Parade
A police officer stopped a semi-truck driver and asked for his license and registration. The officer heard odd sounds from the trailer and decided to inspect it. He found 50 penguins inside.
“Why are there 50 penguins in your truck?” the officer asked.
“They’re my buddies,” the driver replied. “We enjoy traveling together.”
“You can’t just own 50 penguins,” the officer said. “You need to take them to the zoo.”
Police officer frowning next to a semi-truck holding a notepad | Source: Midjourney
The driver agreed and drove away. The next day, the same officer stopped the same truck and heard the same strange noises. He checked the trailer and found the same 50 penguins.
“I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!” the officer exclaimed.
“I did!” the driver responded. “They had a great time. Today, we’re going to the beach.”
Penguins walking through a regular sunny beach | Source: Midjourney
3. The Plasterer
A duck waddled into a pub and asked for a beer and a ham sandwich.
The bartender stared and said, “Hold on a sec! You’re a duck!”
“That’s pretty obvious,” the duck replied.
“And you talk!” shouted the bartender.
“And you hear well!” the duck said. “Now, about that beer and sandwich?”
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform sitting at a bar eating a sandwich | Source: Midjourney
“Oh, right, sorry,” the bartender said, pouring the duck’s beer. “We don’t get many ducks around here. What brings you in?”
“I’m working at that construction site over there,” the duck explained. “I’m a plasterer.”
The bartender was surprised, but let the duck be when he pulled out a newspaper to read.
The duck read the paper, ate his food, and left. He did this every day for two weeks.
A duck sitting at a bar reading a newspaper | Source: Midjourney
Then, the circus came to town. The circus manager came into the pub, and the bartender said, “Hey, you’re with the circus, right? I know a duck who’d be a star in your show! He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the paper… he’s amazing!”
“Is that right?” the circus manager said, handing the bartender his card. “Tell him to give me a call.”
The next day, when the duck came in, the bartender said, “Hey Mr. Duck, I think I found you a fantastic job that pays really well.”
“I’m always interested in new opportunities,” the duck said. “Where is it?”
“At the circus,” the bartender answered.
A circus in a field | Source: Midjourney
“The circus?” the duck asked.
“Yep,” said the bartender.
“The circus?” the duck asked again. “The one with the big tent?”
“Exactly!” said the bartender.
“With the animals in cages and people living in trailers?” asked the duck.
“That’s the one,” said the bartender.
“And the tent is made of that heavy fabric with a hole at the top?” the duck asked.
“That’s right!” said the bartender.
The duck shook his head and said, “Why would they need a plasterer?”
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform working as a plasterer | Source: Midjourney
4. Slowpoke Centipede
A man saw a sign at a pet store that said, “Talking Centipede $100.” He thought it was cool and bought it. When he got home, he opened the box and asked the centipede if it wanted to grab a beer. The centipede didn’t say anything, so the man thought he got ripped off.
After a while, he tried again. He shouted, “Want to go get a beer?” The centipede popped out of the box and said, “Be quiet! I heard you the first time! I’m putting my shoes on!”
A fairytale version of a centipede talking and putting on shoes inside a box | Source: Midjourney
5. Hell’s Handyman
An engineer died and went to Hell.
The devil was shocked because engineers don’t usually go there. Hell was a mess: the AC was busted, the pool was empty, and everything was broken.
The engineer got to work fixing things. He fixed the AC, filled the pool, and even made the roads better.
God saw that everyone in Hell was having fun, which wasn’t right. He asked the devil what was going on.
A cartoon version of God in Hell looking confused because people are having fun at the pool | Source: Midjourney
The devil said, “That engineer you sent here has been fixing everything. He’s made Hell a nice place!”
God said, “What? Engineers don’t belong in Hell! That was a mistake. Send him back so I can put him in Heaven!”
The devil said, “No way, we like him here.”
God said, “Send him back, or I’ll sue you!”
The devil laughed and said, “Where are you going to find a lawyer?”
A cartoon version of the devil in Hell shrugging with people having fun at the pool | Source: Midjourney
6. The Big-Time Lawyer
Joe left his small town to go to college and law school. He became a lawyer and went back to his hometown because he wanted to be a big deal there.
He opened his own office, but no one came at first. One day, he saw a man walking toward his office. Joe wanted to impress this man, so he pretended to be on the phone.
A man sitting on a desk in a tiny office talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
When the man walked in, Joe started talking loudly on the phone, saying things like, “No way! Tell those guys in New York I want $1 million! I’m going to court next week! My team is the best! We’re going to win for sure! Yeah, the judge already knows I’m right! No, I don’t care what they offer, we’re not backing down!”
He talked like this for a long time while the man waited. Finally, Joe hung up the phone and said to the man, “Sorry I took so long, I’m really busy. What can I do for you?”
The man answered, “I’m here to install your phone line.”
Man in uniform standing by the doorway of an office | Source: Midjourney
7. Chick Magnet
A man from the city moved to the countryside and wanted to try farming. He went to the farm store and said, “I’ll take 100 baby chicks.”
The store worker gave him the chicks.
A week later, the man came back and said, “I need 200 baby chicks this time.” The worker gave him the chicks.
Another week passed, and the man returned. He said, “Give me 500 baby chicks.”
“Wow,” the worker said, “you must be doing great!”
A man dressed as a farmer smiling with small chicks nearby | Source: Midjourney
“Nope,” the man sighed. “I’m either putting them in the ground too deep or too far apart.”
8. Bachelors
Two single guys were chatting, and they started talking about cooking.
“I got a cookbook last year,” the first guy said, “but I couldn’t make anything from it.”
“Was it too hard?” the second guy asked.
“Totally! Every recipe started the same way: ‘Get a clean plate and…'”
A man holding a cookbook in a kitchen with a sink full of dirty plates | Source: Midjourney
9. Copy That?
A new worker was puzzled by the office shredder.
“Want some help?” offered a nearby secretary.
“Yes,” he said, “how do I use this?”
“Easy,” she replied, taking his thick report and putting it in the shredder.
“Thanks,” he smiled, “but what side do the copies come out?”
Man shrugging confused next to a paper shredder in an office hallway | Source: Midjourney
10. Whoa, Amen!
A man got lost in the desert. After wandering for weeks, he found a small house. He was tired and weak, so he crawled to the house and fainted.
The owner of the house, a kind and religious man, found him and helped him get better. When the man felt stronger, he asked for directions to the nearest town.
As he was leaving, he saw a horse. He asked the owner if he could borrow it. The owner agreed but said, “To make the horse go, say ‘Thank God.’ To make it stop, say ‘Amen.'”
A horse drinking water from a puddle next to a small house in a deserted area | Source: Midjourney
The man didn’t really listen and said, “Okay, sure.” He got on the horse and said, “Thank God,” and the horse started walking. He said, “Thank God, thank God,” and the horse started running. Feeling brave, the man shouted, “Thank God, thank God, thank God!” and the horse went even faster.
Suddenly, he saw a cliff ahead. He tried to stop the horse, yelling, “Whoa, stop!” Then he remembered, “Amen!”
The horse stopped right at the edge of the cliff. The man took a deep breath and said, “Thank God.”
Man looking scared riding a horse | Source: Midjourney
11. Nutty Natter
A man went into a bar and ordered a beer. As he was drinking, he heard a voice say, “Nice tie!” He looked around, but he and the bartender were the only ones there. Then the voice said, “I like your shirt!” Confused, the man called the bartender over.
“Am I losing it?” he asked. “I keep hearing voices telling me nice things, but no one else is here.”
“It’s the peanuts,” the bartender answered.
“What?” the man asked.
“The peanuts,” the bartender said again. “They’re complimentary.”
Peanuts in a smiley face bowl on a bar counter | Source: Midjourney
I Recognized a Beggar as My Fiancé Who Disappeared from Our Wedding 8 Years Ago — His Explanation Shocked Me
I never expected to see Jacob, my ex-fiancé, again, especially not as a beggar in Central Park. Confronting him unveiled a shocking betrayal that left me questioning everything I knew about my past and the people I trusted most.
“Come on, Nina, just one more slice of pizza before you go,” my old friend Eric insisted, flashing his signature grin.
“No way,” I laughed, “I have a flight to catch. And a Central Park stroll to make, remember?”
Eric rolled his eyes but waved me off. “Fine, but you’ll regret missing out on another slice of genuine New York pizza when you’re back in boring old St. Louis,” he jibed.
New York City pictured from above | Source: Pexels
I laughed and hugged him and headed off to Central Park, savoring the last bit of my nostalgic trip. New York always had a way of making me feel so alive, but it also reminded me of Jacob somehow, and I had a strange feeling about him right then.
The weekend had been a whirlwind. I spent hours wandering through boutiques in SoHo, splurging on designer dresses and quirky accessories. The smell of leather from luxury handbags still lingered in my mind. Lunch at a trendy café, where I indulged in an avocado toast that tasted like heaven, was a highlight.
A woman shopping for dresses and shoes | Source: Pexels
Dinner at a swanky rooftop restaurant with Eric, overlooking the city lights, had been the perfect way to end my day. New York was a feast for the senses, a place where I could lose myself in the crowds and flavors.
Eight years had passed since my wedding day disaster. I was at peace with it, or so I thought. That was until I saw him.
There he was, on a bench, looking like a ghost from the past, disheveled and begging. My heart stopped. Could it really be Jacob, my long-lost fiancé? I had to know.
A woman talking to a destitute man in a park | Source: Pexels
“Jacob?” I approached cautiously.
He looked up, eyes widening in recognition. “Nina? Oh wow, it’s really you.”
“Yeah, it’s me,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady. “What happened to you?”
He lowered his gaze, shame evident. “It’s a long story. Can we talk?”
I hesitated but then nodded, my curiosity getting the better of me. “Fine. Let’s get something to eat.”
A destitute man holding a sign | Source: Pexels
We walked to a nearby café, the awkward silence between us growing with each step. I ordered two coffees and a couple of burgers, glancing at Jacob, who seemed lost in thought.
I handed him his cup, our fingers briefly touching, sending a jolt of memories through me. We walked back into the park, found a bench under a large oak tree, and sat down, the city bubbling around us.
“Start from the beginning,” I said, taking a sip of my coffee.
A man eating food on a park bench | Source: Pexels
Jacob took a deep breath. “Two hours before our wedding, men came to my room. They said your father sent them.”
“My father?” I echoed, shocked.
“Yes,” he continued, “they took me away, beat me until I couldn’t remember anything. I ended up wandering, and now… this.”
I stared at him, disbelief mixing with pity. “Are you saying my father did this?”
“That’s what I’m saying,” Jacob replied, eyes pleading for me to believe him.
I shook my head, trying to process it all. “They beat you up and then what?”
A woman eating a sandwich on a park bench | Source: Pexels
“They beat me until I couldn’t remember anything. I woke up in a hospital, bruised and disoriented. The doctors said I had amnesia,” Jacob explained, his voice trembling. “I didn’t even know my own name. They kept me for a while, but once I was physically stable, they discharged me. I had nowhere to go. No memory, no job, no life.”
I could see the pain in his eyes as he continued. “Without a past, I couldn’t move forward. I wandered the streets, trying to piece together fragments of who I was. The confusion and fear turned into depression. I couldn’t find work, couldn’t afford a place to stay. One bad turn led to another, and I ended up here, living day by day.”
A sad-looking man facing the camera | Source: Pexels
He took a deep breath, steadying himself. “Recently, some memories started coming back, but it’s like trying to grasp smoke. I remember bits of our life together, our plans, but it’s all so fragmented.”
Hearing this, my heart ached. The man I once loved had been reduced to this by forces beyond his control. “I… I don’t know what to say, Jacob. This is all so overwhelming.”
He nodded, understanding my struggle. “I get it, Nina. It’s a lot to take in. But I’m glad I got to tell you this now, so you can understand what happened to me.”
A woman on a bench with a concerned expression | Source: Pexels
We sat in silence for a moment, the weight of his words sinking in. I looked at the man who once promised me a life together forever, now a shadow of his former self.
“I don’t know what to believe,” I finally said.
“I understand,” Jacob said quietly. “But I needed you to know.”
We finished our food in silence, each lost in our own thoughts. I got up to leave, looking at Jacob, still sitting on the bench.
“Take care, Jacob,” I said softly.
“You too, Nina,” he replied, not meeting my eyes.
A woman walking away in a park | Source: Pexels
I walked away, heart heavy with unresolved emotions. As I replayed our conversation in my mind, I suddenly realized I had left my bag on the bench next to Jacob.
Panicking, I rushed back and found it right where I had left it. My weekend in New York had taken a turn I never expected, and I wasn’t sure what to do next.
***
I spent the rest of the evening wandering the city, trying to shake off the encounter. The lights of Times Square, the crowds, and the noise all felt distant. I couldn’t get Jacob’s story out of my head.
A depiction of New York’s Times Square at night | Source: Pexels
“Hey, Nina, you alright?” Eric’s voice brought me back to reality as I found myself back at his apartment.
“Yeah, just… a lot on my mind,” I replied, forcing a smile. “I decided not to take that flight home yet.”
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” he said, concerned.
“In a way, I did,” I admitted. “I ran into Jacob.”
Eric’s eyes widened. “Jacob? Your Jacob?”
“Yeah, he’s… a mess. He told me some crazy story about my dad having him kidnapped.”
Eric shook his head. “That sounds nuts. You believe him?”
A woman and man conversing on a sofa in an apartment | Source: Pexels
“I don’t know,” I sighed. “It’s too much to take in.”
“Look, why don’t you stay another day? Clear your head before you fly back,” Eric suggested.
“I can’t,” I said, though the offer was tempting. “I need to go home and sort this out.”
“Alright,” Eric said, giving me a hug. “But tell me if you need anything.”
The next morning, instead of heading straight to the airport, I found myself back at Central Park. The conversation with Jacob replayed in my mind. I had to understand more before leaving the city. Maybe it was curiosity, or maybe, it was a need for closure.
A woman making a call on a cell phone outdoors | Source: Pexels
I wandered through the park, hoping to find Jacob again. As I passed by the bench where we had sat, a wave of emotion hit me. I sat down, trying to piece everything together.
I couldn’t shake the feeling of unease as I sat on the bench. Jacob’s story gnawed at me. It was too wild to be true, yet too detailed to be a lie. I needed answers.
“Hello, Dad?” I called my father, hoping for some clarity.
“Nina, what’s wrong? You sound upset,” he responded.
An older man talking on a cell phone | Source: Pexels
“I ran into Jacob,” I said, hearing the sharp intake of breath on the other end.
“That man has the nerve to show his face?” Dad’s voice was cold.
“He told me you had him kidnapped on our wedding day,” I blurted out.
“That’s absurd,” he replied, but there was hesitation in his voice.
“Is it? He said you hired men to beat him up and it left him with amnesia. He’s now homeless and lost in New York City.”
An woman sitting on a park bench with a cell phone in her hands | Source: Pexels
“Ridiculous. I paid him to leave you, Nina. He took the money and ran,” my father’s tone was harsh and defensive.
“So, you did interfere,” I said, anger rising.
“Yes, but for your own good. He wasn’t right for you,” he insisted.
“I can’t believe you,” I said, tears welling up. “You ruined everything.”
“Nina, please, I did it to protect you,” he pleaded, but I had already hung up and dropped my phone into my bag.
I sat for a long time, pondering what to do. Then it occurred to me to call Eric and ask him if I could stay longer in the city with him. As I rummaged in my bag for my phone, my pulse quickened.
A woman looks into in her handbag | Source: Pexels
My purse, which I had carefully placed inside, was missing. Then it hit me: yesterday, the bag had been on the bench between Jacob and me when we talked. The realization was like a punch to the gut. Had he taken my purse then? My trust, fragile already, shattered completely.
“Damn it,” I muttered, feeling panic and anger. I rifled through my bag, hoping I had just misplaced it, but it was nowhere to be found. A cold realization came over me. Jacob must have taken it when I had walked away and left it on the bench.
How could he do this? Was everything he said a lie? I felt betrayed all over again, by both Jacob and my father.
A woman contemplatives on a park bench | Source: Pexels
“Excuse me, miss, is everything alright?” a passerby asked, concern in his eyes.
“Not really,” I sighed, “but I’ll manage.”
I stood up, ready to face whatever came next. The past had reared its ugly head, but I wouldn’t let it define my future. It was time to move forward, one step at a time.
If you enjoyed this story, here’s another one for you about a father who hid a letter addressed to his daughter from her boyfriend, only for her to find it years later.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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