Ever find yourself needing a quick pick-me-up during a long day? Laughter is the perfect antidote to stress and boredom. This collection of 11 jokes is sure to deliver a healthy dose of humor.
Get ready to chuckle your way through these hilarious jokes about everything from bar buddies to blundering farmers. Whether you’re a fan of witty wordplay or quirky animal antics, there’s something here to tickle everyone’s funny bone.
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform waddling into a bar | Source: Midjourney
1. Drink Down
A guy walks into a bar and orders two shots. He drinks both and leaves. He does the same thing every day for a while.
One day, the bartender asks, “Why do you always order two shots?”
The guy says, “My brother and I used to drink together all the time, but now he lives far away. So, one shot is for me, and one is for him.”
Two brothers laughing while sitting at a bar | Source: Midjourney
This goes on for a while, and then one day the guy only orders one shot.
The bartender worries and asks, “What happened? Is your brother okay?”
The guy replies, “Yeah, he’s fine. I just quit drinking.”
Man looking sad while sitting at a bar | Source: Midjourney
2. Penguin Parade
A police officer stopped a semi-truck driver and asked for his license and registration. The officer heard odd sounds from the trailer and decided to inspect it. He found 50 penguins inside.
“Why are there 50 penguins in your truck?” the officer asked.
“They’re my buddies,” the driver replied. “We enjoy traveling together.”
“You can’t just own 50 penguins,” the officer said. “You need to take them to the zoo.”
Police officer frowning next to a semi-truck holding a notepad | Source: Midjourney
The driver agreed and drove away. The next day, the same officer stopped the same truck and heard the same strange noises. He checked the trailer and found the same 50 penguins.
“I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!” the officer exclaimed.
“I did!” the driver responded. “They had a great time. Today, we’re going to the beach.”
Penguins walking through a regular sunny beach | Source: Midjourney
3. The Plasterer
A duck waddled into a pub and asked for a beer and a ham sandwich.
The bartender stared and said, “Hold on a sec! You’re a duck!”
“That’s pretty obvious,” the duck replied.
“And you talk!” shouted the bartender.
“And you hear well!” the duck said. “Now, about that beer and sandwich?”
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform sitting at a bar eating a sandwich | Source: Midjourney
“Oh, right, sorry,” the bartender said, pouring the duck’s beer. “We don’t get many ducks around here. What brings you in?”
“I’m working at that construction site over there,” the duck explained. “I’m a plasterer.”
The bartender was surprised, but let the duck be when he pulled out a newspaper to read.
The duck read the paper, ate his food, and left. He did this every day for two weeks.
A duck sitting at a bar reading a newspaper | Source: Midjourney
Then, the circus came to town. The circus manager came into the pub, and the bartender said, “Hey, you’re with the circus, right? I know a duck who’d be a star in your show! He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the paper… he’s amazing!”
“Is that right?” the circus manager said, handing the bartender his card. “Tell him to give me a call.”
The next day, when the duck came in, the bartender said, “Hey Mr. Duck, I think I found you a fantastic job that pays really well.”
“I’m always interested in new opportunities,” the duck said. “Where is it?”
“At the circus,” the bartender answered.
A circus in a field | Source: Midjourney
“The circus?” the duck asked.
“Yep,” said the bartender.
“The circus?” the duck asked again. “The one with the big tent?”
“Exactly!” said the bartender.
“With the animals in cages and people living in trailers?” asked the duck.
“That’s the one,” said the bartender.
“And the tent is made of that heavy fabric with a hole at the top?” the duck asked.
“That’s right!” said the bartender.
The duck shook his head and said, “Why would they need a plasterer?”
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform working as a plasterer | Source: Midjourney
4. Slowpoke Centipede
A man saw a sign at a pet store that said, “Talking Centipede $100.” He thought it was cool and bought it. When he got home, he opened the box and asked the centipede if it wanted to grab a beer. The centipede didn’t say anything, so the man thought he got ripped off.
After a while, he tried again. He shouted, “Want to go get a beer?” The centipede popped out of the box and said, “Be quiet! I heard you the first time! I’m putting my shoes on!”
A fairytale version of a centipede talking and putting on shoes inside a box | Source: Midjourney
5. Hell’s Handyman
An engineer died and went to Hell.
The devil was shocked because engineers don’t usually go there. Hell was a mess: the AC was busted, the pool was empty, and everything was broken.
The engineer got to work fixing things. He fixed the AC, filled the pool, and even made the roads better.
God saw that everyone in Hell was having fun, which wasn’t right. He asked the devil what was going on.
A cartoon version of God in Hell looking confused because people are having fun at the pool | Source: Midjourney
The devil said, “That engineer you sent here has been fixing everything. He’s made Hell a nice place!”
God said, “What? Engineers don’t belong in Hell! That was a mistake. Send him back so I can put him in Heaven!”
The devil said, “No way, we like him here.”
God said, “Send him back, or I’ll sue you!”
The devil laughed and said, “Where are you going to find a lawyer?”
A cartoon version of the devil in Hell shrugging with people having fun at the pool | Source: Midjourney
6. The Big-Time Lawyer
Joe left his small town to go to college and law school. He became a lawyer and went back to his hometown because he wanted to be a big deal there.
He opened his own office, but no one came at first. One day, he saw a man walking toward his office. Joe wanted to impress this man, so he pretended to be on the phone.
A man sitting on a desk in a tiny office talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
When the man walked in, Joe started talking loudly on the phone, saying things like, “No way! Tell those guys in New York I want $1 million! I’m going to court next week! My team is the best! We’re going to win for sure! Yeah, the judge already knows I’m right! No, I don’t care what they offer, we’re not backing down!”
He talked like this for a long time while the man waited. Finally, Joe hung up the phone and said to the man, “Sorry I took so long, I’m really busy. What can I do for you?”
The man answered, “I’m here to install your phone line.”
Man in uniform standing by the doorway of an office | Source: Midjourney
7. Chick Magnet
A man from the city moved to the countryside and wanted to try farming. He went to the farm store and said, “I’ll take 100 baby chicks.”
The store worker gave him the chicks.
A week later, the man came back and said, “I need 200 baby chicks this time.” The worker gave him the chicks.
Another week passed, and the man returned. He said, “Give me 500 baby chicks.”
“Wow,” the worker said, “you must be doing great!”
A man dressed as a farmer smiling with small chicks nearby | Source: Midjourney
“Nope,” the man sighed. “I’m either putting them in the ground too deep or too far apart.”
8. Bachelors
Two single guys were chatting, and they started talking about cooking.
“I got a cookbook last year,” the first guy said, “but I couldn’t make anything from it.”
“Was it too hard?” the second guy asked.
“Totally! Every recipe started the same way: ‘Get a clean plate and…'”
A man holding a cookbook in a kitchen with a sink full of dirty plates | Source: Midjourney
9. Copy That?
A new worker was puzzled by the office shredder.
“Want some help?” offered a nearby secretary.
“Yes,” he said, “how do I use this?”
“Easy,” she replied, taking his thick report and putting it in the shredder.
“Thanks,” he smiled, “but what side do the copies come out?”
Man shrugging confused next to a paper shredder in an office hallway | Source: Midjourney
10. Whoa, Amen!
A man got lost in the desert. After wandering for weeks, he found a small house. He was tired and weak, so he crawled to the house and fainted.
The owner of the house, a kind and religious man, found him and helped him get better. When the man felt stronger, he asked for directions to the nearest town.
As he was leaving, he saw a horse. He asked the owner if he could borrow it. The owner agreed but said, “To make the horse go, say ‘Thank God.’ To make it stop, say ‘Amen.'”
A horse drinking water from a puddle next to a small house in a deserted area | Source: Midjourney
The man didn’t really listen and said, “Okay, sure.” He got on the horse and said, “Thank God,” and the horse started walking. He said, “Thank God, thank God,” and the horse started running. Feeling brave, the man shouted, “Thank God, thank God, thank God!” and the horse went even faster.
Suddenly, he saw a cliff ahead. He tried to stop the horse, yelling, “Whoa, stop!” Then he remembered, “Amen!”
The horse stopped right at the edge of the cliff. The man took a deep breath and said, “Thank God.”
Man looking scared riding a horse | Source: Midjourney
11. Nutty Natter
A man went into a bar and ordered a beer. As he was drinking, he heard a voice say, “Nice tie!” He looked around, but he and the bartender were the only ones there. Then the voice said, “I like your shirt!” Confused, the man called the bartender over.
“Am I losing it?” he asked. “I keep hearing voices telling me nice things, but no one else is here.”
“It’s the peanuts,” the bartender answered.
“What?” the man asked.
“The peanuts,” the bartender said again. “They’re complimentary.”
Peanuts in a smiley face bowl on a bar counter | Source: Midjourney
A Week Ago, My House Was Robbed — Today, My Son (Who Doesn’t Have a Job) Bought Himself a Sports Car
A week after Karen’s life savings are stolen, she’s shocked to see her son driving a new sports car. He claims it’s from a new job, but Karen isn’t convinced. As her suspicions grow, a heated confrontation unfolds, leaving Karen desperate to uncover the truth about her son’s sudden fortune.
It had been twenty years since my husband left. Twenty years of scraped-together meals, late-night shifts, and those weeks when I’d count down to payday like it was some sort of lifeline.
A thoughtful woman | Source: Midjourney
I should’ve been used to the constant balancing act of being a single mother, but it still felt like I was one misstep from everything crashing down.
Jake was my life, though. No matter how hard things got, my bright-eyed, creative son was the reason I kept going. But there was a problem, a big one.
At twenty-five, Jake still hadn’t found his footing.
A young man checking his phone | Source: Midjourney
He had no job and no income. His art was everything to him, but it wasn’t enough to pay the bills. And trust me, there were so many bills. The financial pressure got worse when someone broke in and stole all my savings from my lockbox.
“Mom, you just have to trust me. I’ll figure out who stole your money. It’s all gonna work out,” Jake had said last week after my house was broken into.
But his voice had been too calm. Maybe I was too used to things going wrong. Still, the pit in my stomach only grew as I thought about that night. All the cash I’d saved for years, gone in an instant.
An old lockbox | Source: Midjourney
Then came the day when everything changed. Jake had gone out, probably off working on some new project that wouldn’t pay a dime.
I was at the corner store when I saw the shiny, red sports car gleaming in the sun. It screamed money. Flashy, expensive, and out of place in our neighborhood. I was about to climb into my beaten-up sedan when a familiar figure caught my eye: Jake.
He walked over to the sports car and climbed into the driver’s seat. My jaw dropped.
A sports car | Source: Pexels
My mind raced with possibilities as I headed home, each more impossible than the last. When I got inside, Jake was leaning against the kitchen counter, twirling the keys to the sports car parked in my driveway like they were nothing.
“Where did you get that car?” I demanded, barely able to keep my voice steady.
He glanced up, shrugging. “Oh, that? It’s nothing, Mom. I’ve got a new job.”
A man and woman speaking in a kitchen | Source: Midjourney
“A job?” I scoffed, crossing my arms. “Doing what? You’ve never held down a job in your life, Jake.”
Jake rolled his eyes, pushing past me to grab a soda from the fridge. “I’m not doing some minimum-wage labor if that’s what you’re asking. It’s legit.”
“Legit?” I couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled up.
His jaw tightened. “I’m not stealing, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
An angry young man | Source: Midjourney
“Oh, really? So where did you get the money for the car then? Or do you expect me to believe you just… stumbled into it?”
“I don’t owe you an explanation,” he snapped. “You wouldn’t get it anyway.”
My chest constricted. There was no way around it now. The horrible suspicion that had been gnawing at me since the robbery suddenly had teeth.
“You didn’t… take my money, did you?”
An angry young man | Source: Midjourney
He turned on me so fast. “How could you even ask me that? I can’t believe you’d think that of me. I’ve done nothing but try to make things better, and this is what I get?”
Without another word, he stormed out, slamming the door behind him.
I didn’t want to believe my son was a thief but I needed answers. I grabbed my keys and followed him. If he was up to something, I had to know.
A woman starting her car | Source: Midjourney
His new car was easy to tail. I followed him across town to some high-end beauty salon. My eyes narrowed as I watched him step out and wait by the curb. And then, she appeared.
A woman, older than Jake, maybe in her mid-forties, stepped out of the salon. I watched, frozen, as she wrapped her arms around Jake and kissed him. It wasn’t just a quick peck either. This was… intimate.
My throat tightened as I sank lower in my seat. Who was this woman? And what the hell was Jake doing with her?
A concerned woman in her car | Source: Midjourney
When they pulled away and got into the car together, I decided to keep following. They drove to the outskirts of town, where the houses turned into mansions. My stomach churned as Jake’s car pulled into the driveway of a sprawling estate.
My heart raced. This wasn’t just strange — it was wrong. Everything in me screamed that I had to stop this.
I didn’t wait for a second thought. I was out of the car and at the front door, pounding on it so hard I thought it might crack.
A grand front door | Source: Pexels
The door swung open, and there she was: the woman from the salon. Jake appeared behind her, his face immediately paling when he saw me.
“Mom?”
“Oh, you bet it’s your mom,” I spat. “What the hell is going on, Jake?”
The woman’s smile never faltered. “You must be Karen. Jake’s told me so much about you.”
“And you are?” I snapped, not bothering to hide the venom in my voice.
An angry woman | Source: Midjourney
She extended her hand as though this was all perfectly normal. “Lydia. Jake’s girlfriend.”
“Girlfriend?” I nearly choked on the word. “What is going on here, Jake? How long has this been happening?”
“Three months,” Jake muttered, not meeting my eyes. “Mom, please, just calm down.”
Calm down? Was he kidding me?
A stunned and furious woman | Source: Midjourney
“Calm down?” I repeated. “My house gets broken into, you show up in a sports car, and now I find out you’ve been shacked up with some rich woman for months?”
Lydia’s smile faltered a bit. “Karen, I think you’re misunderstanding—”
“No, I understand perfectly,” I said, eyes narrowing at Jake. “You’re using her. For her money, for this lifestyle. And that car — was that part of the deal too? Is this what you’ve been doing, Jake?”
Jake’s face darkened.
An upset man | Source: Midjourney
“It’s not like that.”
“Then what is it like?” I shot back. “Because I can’t see anything else.”
Jake’s eyes flashed with anger, but behind it, I saw something else: hurt.
“I love Lydia, Mom,” he said. “Even if you find that hard to believe. I’m not going to argue with you about my relationship. We’ll speak later.”
And with that, he shut the door in my face.
A shocked woman | Source: Midjourney
When Jake came home later, I was sitting in the dark, waiting. I didn’t turn the light on when he walked in.
“Mom, we need to talk,” he said quietly. He wasn’t angry anymore. Instead, he just sounded tired.
I took a deep breath. “You’re right. We do.”
He sat across from me, rubbing his hands together like he was trying to find the words. I didn’t make it easier for him.
A nervous man sitting on an armchair | Source: Midjourney
“Lydia isn’t just some rich woman I’m using,” he said softly. “She’s been helping me. You know how hard I’ve worked on my art, but no one ever took me seriously. Except her. She pushed me to show my work and introduced me to people in the industry who saw what I could do.”
I blinked at him, the weight of his words slowly sinking in. “Jake…”
“I know I should’ve told you about her earlier, but I was scared,” he admitted, his voice cracking a little.
An emotional man | Source: Midjourney
“You’ve been through so much, and I didn’t want you to think I was doing something shady. Lydia’s helped me get my first real exhibition. I’ve already sold enough to pay off your debts, Mom. All of it.”
I stared at him, unable to speak for a moment. “You… what?“
“The money and the car didn’t come from anything illegal. It was from my art. Lydia helped me organize everything, and the exhibition is in two days. I’ve worked so hard for this, and I wanted to surprise you.”
An earnest man sitting on a sofa | Source: Midjourney
“I’m sorry I doubted you,” I whispered.
Jake looked at me, and for the first time in a long while, I saw my little boy who always had big dreams, even when they seemed impossible.
Two days later, I walked into a gallery filled with people admiring Jake’s work. My son, who’d spent so many years lost in his art, was finally being seen for the talent he was.
During the event, Jake stood up to give a speech.
A person holding a microphone | Source: Pexels
“Thank you all for coming. This night means everything to me. But I have to say, none of this would’ve happened without my mom. She’s the reason I kept going, even when things got tough. So, Mom, this is all for you.”
Jake smiled at me from the stage, and then, to my absolute shock, he held up the keys to the car. “I wanted to give you something to make life a little easier. You’ve earned it. Thank you, Mom.”
A happy woman at an art exhibition | Source: Midjourney
The room erupted into applause, but all I could do was cry. After years of struggle, we were finally going to be okay.
Here’s another story: When our daughter Sarah demanded a down payment for a house as her 18th birthday gift, we were stunned. Determined to teach her a valuable lesson, we gave her a fixer-upper instead. As Sarah dove into renovations, she faced unexpected challenges that transformed both the house and herself.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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