Ever find yourself needing a quick pick-me-up during a long day? Laughter is the perfect antidote to stress and boredom. This collection of 11 jokes is sure to deliver a healthy dose of humor.
Get ready to chuckle your way through these hilarious jokes about everything from bar buddies to blundering farmers. Whether you’re a fan of witty wordplay or quirky animal antics, there’s something here to tickle everyone’s funny bone.
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform waddling into a bar | Source: Midjourney
1. Drink Down
A guy walks into a bar and orders two shots. He drinks both and leaves. He does the same thing every day for a while.
One day, the bartender asks, “Why do you always order two shots?”
The guy says, “My brother and I used to drink together all the time, but now he lives far away. So, one shot is for me, and one is for him.”
Two brothers laughing while sitting at a bar | Source: Midjourney
This goes on for a while, and then one day the guy only orders one shot.
The bartender worries and asks, “What happened? Is your brother okay?”
The guy replies, “Yeah, he’s fine. I just quit drinking.”
Man looking sad while sitting at a bar | Source: Midjourney
2. Penguin Parade
A police officer stopped a semi-truck driver and asked for his license and registration. The officer heard odd sounds from the trailer and decided to inspect it. He found 50 penguins inside.
“Why are there 50 penguins in your truck?” the officer asked.
“They’re my buddies,” the driver replied. “We enjoy traveling together.”
“You can’t just own 50 penguins,” the officer said. “You need to take them to the zoo.”
Police officer frowning next to a semi-truck holding a notepad | Source: Midjourney
The driver agreed and drove away. The next day, the same officer stopped the same truck and heard the same strange noises. He checked the trailer and found the same 50 penguins.
“I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!” the officer exclaimed.
“I did!” the driver responded. “They had a great time. Today, we’re going to the beach.”
Penguins walking through a regular sunny beach | Source: Midjourney
3. The Plasterer
A duck waddled into a pub and asked for a beer and a ham sandwich.
The bartender stared and said, “Hold on a sec! You’re a duck!”
“That’s pretty obvious,” the duck replied.
“And you talk!” shouted the bartender.
“And you hear well!” the duck said. “Now, about that beer and sandwich?”
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform sitting at a bar eating a sandwich | Source: Midjourney
“Oh, right, sorry,” the bartender said, pouring the duck’s beer. “We don’t get many ducks around here. What brings you in?”
“I’m working at that construction site over there,” the duck explained. “I’m a plasterer.”
The bartender was surprised, but let the duck be when he pulled out a newspaper to read.
The duck read the paper, ate his food, and left. He did this every day for two weeks.
A duck sitting at a bar reading a newspaper | Source: Midjourney
Then, the circus came to town. The circus manager came into the pub, and the bartender said, “Hey, you’re with the circus, right? I know a duck who’d be a star in your show! He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the paper… he’s amazing!”
“Is that right?” the circus manager said, handing the bartender his card. “Tell him to give me a call.”
The next day, when the duck came in, the bartender said, “Hey Mr. Duck, I think I found you a fantastic job that pays really well.”
“I’m always interested in new opportunities,” the duck said. “Where is it?”
“At the circus,” the bartender answered.
A circus in a field | Source: Midjourney
“The circus?” the duck asked.
“Yep,” said the bartender.
“The circus?” the duck asked again. “The one with the big tent?”
“Exactly!” said the bartender.
“With the animals in cages and people living in trailers?” asked the duck.
“That’s the one,” said the bartender.
“And the tent is made of that heavy fabric with a hole at the top?” the duck asked.
“That’s right!” said the bartender.
The duck shook his head and said, “Why would they need a plasterer?”
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform working as a plasterer | Source: Midjourney
4. Slowpoke Centipede
A man saw a sign at a pet store that said, “Talking Centipede $100.” He thought it was cool and bought it. When he got home, he opened the box and asked the centipede if it wanted to grab a beer. The centipede didn’t say anything, so the man thought he got ripped off.
After a while, he tried again. He shouted, “Want to go get a beer?” The centipede popped out of the box and said, “Be quiet! I heard you the first time! I’m putting my shoes on!”
A fairytale version of a centipede talking and putting on shoes inside a box | Source: Midjourney
5. Hell’s Handyman
An engineer died and went to Hell.
The devil was shocked because engineers don’t usually go there. Hell was a mess: the AC was busted, the pool was empty, and everything was broken.
The engineer got to work fixing things. He fixed the AC, filled the pool, and even made the roads better.
God saw that everyone in Hell was having fun, which wasn’t right. He asked the devil what was going on.
A cartoon version of God in Hell looking confused because people are having fun at the pool | Source: Midjourney
The devil said, “That engineer you sent here has been fixing everything. He’s made Hell a nice place!”
God said, “What? Engineers don’t belong in Hell! That was a mistake. Send him back so I can put him in Heaven!”
The devil said, “No way, we like him here.”
God said, “Send him back, or I’ll sue you!”
The devil laughed and said, “Where are you going to find a lawyer?”
A cartoon version of the devil in Hell shrugging with people having fun at the pool | Source: Midjourney
6. The Big-Time Lawyer
Joe left his small town to go to college and law school. He became a lawyer and went back to his hometown because he wanted to be a big deal there.
He opened his own office, but no one came at first. One day, he saw a man walking toward his office. Joe wanted to impress this man, so he pretended to be on the phone.
A man sitting on a desk in a tiny office talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
When the man walked in, Joe started talking loudly on the phone, saying things like, “No way! Tell those guys in New York I want $1 million! I’m going to court next week! My team is the best! We’re going to win for sure! Yeah, the judge already knows I’m right! No, I don’t care what they offer, we’re not backing down!”
He talked like this for a long time while the man waited. Finally, Joe hung up the phone and said to the man, “Sorry I took so long, I’m really busy. What can I do for you?”
The man answered, “I’m here to install your phone line.”
Man in uniform standing by the doorway of an office | Source: Midjourney
7. Chick Magnet
A man from the city moved to the countryside and wanted to try farming. He went to the farm store and said, “I’ll take 100 baby chicks.”
The store worker gave him the chicks.
A week later, the man came back and said, “I need 200 baby chicks this time.” The worker gave him the chicks.
Another week passed, and the man returned. He said, “Give me 500 baby chicks.”
“Wow,” the worker said, “you must be doing great!”
A man dressed as a farmer smiling with small chicks nearby | Source: Midjourney
“Nope,” the man sighed. “I’m either putting them in the ground too deep or too far apart.”
8. Bachelors
Two single guys were chatting, and they started talking about cooking.
“I got a cookbook last year,” the first guy said, “but I couldn’t make anything from it.”
“Was it too hard?” the second guy asked.
“Totally! Every recipe started the same way: ‘Get a clean plate and…'”
A man holding a cookbook in a kitchen with a sink full of dirty plates | Source: Midjourney
9. Copy That?
A new worker was puzzled by the office shredder.
“Want some help?” offered a nearby secretary.
“Yes,” he said, “how do I use this?”
“Easy,” she replied, taking his thick report and putting it in the shredder.
“Thanks,” he smiled, “but what side do the copies come out?”
Man shrugging confused next to a paper shredder in an office hallway | Source: Midjourney
10. Whoa, Amen!
A man got lost in the desert. After wandering for weeks, he found a small house. He was tired and weak, so he crawled to the house and fainted.
The owner of the house, a kind and religious man, found him and helped him get better. When the man felt stronger, he asked for directions to the nearest town.
As he was leaving, he saw a horse. He asked the owner if he could borrow it. The owner agreed but said, “To make the horse go, say ‘Thank God.’ To make it stop, say ‘Amen.'”
A horse drinking water from a puddle next to a small house in a deserted area | Source: Midjourney
The man didn’t really listen and said, “Okay, sure.” He got on the horse and said, “Thank God,” and the horse started walking. He said, “Thank God, thank God,” and the horse started running. Feeling brave, the man shouted, “Thank God, thank God, thank God!” and the horse went even faster.
Suddenly, he saw a cliff ahead. He tried to stop the horse, yelling, “Whoa, stop!” Then he remembered, “Amen!”
The horse stopped right at the edge of the cliff. The man took a deep breath and said, “Thank God.”
Man looking scared riding a horse | Source: Midjourney
11. Nutty Natter
A man went into a bar and ordered a beer. As he was drinking, he heard a voice say, “Nice tie!” He looked around, but he and the bartender were the only ones there. Then the voice said, “I like your shirt!” Confused, the man called the bartender over.
“Am I losing it?” he asked. “I keep hearing voices telling me nice things, but no one else is here.”
“It’s the peanuts,” the bartender answered.
“What?” the man asked.
“The peanuts,” the bartender said again. “They’re complimentary.”
Peanuts in a smiley face bowl on a bar counter | Source: Midjourney
We Moved Away from My Controlling MIL, but Then a Court Notice Arrived — She Found Us and Claimed We Owed Her Unpaid Bills
I thought we were free. For months, I woke up in our new home, relishing the quiet, the privacy, and the relief of finally escaping my MIL. But just as I let my guard down, a knock at the door shattered that illusion. A lawsuit. A court summons. And the most terrifying part? She knew where we lived.
We had cut ties, erased our footprints, and built a life without her meddling in every moment. So how had she found us? And why was she claiming we owed her money?
An older woman sitting in her house | Source: Midjourney
As I stood there, the court papers trembling in my hands, I knew one thing for certain. Inga wasn’t done with us yet.
***
I ran my fingers along the window frame, staring out at the quiet street.
The house was just a modest rental with a creaky front porch and mismatched wallpaper. Nothing special.
But to me, it was a sanctuary. A fresh start.
Behind me, Max sat on the couch, flipping through a book while our seven-year-old son, Leo, played with his toys. He smiled while moving his toy car, but I could see the shadows under his eyes.
A child playing with his toys | Source: Pexels
It had taken months for Leo to start sleeping without nightmares. Years of our lives had been twisted and manipulated by Max’s mother, Inga, who was an expert in control and overstepping boundaries.
I still remember the way she would push her way into our daily lives, no matter how much I tried to set boundaries. At first, she convinced Max that she just wanted to “help out” after Leo was born. She cooked meals, cleaned, and always seemed eager to babysit.
But the help quickly turned into control.
An older woman smiling | Source: Midjourney
She made decisions for Leo without consulting us.
For instance, she once cut his hair because she thought it was “too long.” She even fed him snacks we explicitly asked her to avoid.
At night, she would creep into Leo’s room after he had fallen asleep, pressing kisses to his forehead, brushing his hair back, and whispering things I couldn’t hear. I can’t explain how invasive it felt.
A woman standing outside her grandson’s room | Source: Midjourney
And she never knocked.
It didn’t matter if I was in the bedroom, bathroom, or the kitchen, Inga would just appear. Her presence loomed over our home like a storm cloud, suffocating me with unspoken judgment.
The worst part? She convinced Max that she was only trying to be close to her grandson.
“She’s just excited to be a grandmother,” Max would say whenever I complained. “She doesn’t mean any harm.”
A man sitting on his bed | Source: Midjourney
But I saw it for what it was. Control.
While we were living on her property, she kept everything in her name, including the utility bills, the lease, and even the mailbox.
Every month, she would remind us of how much we owed her, even though we gave her cash for everything. And if we ever disagreed with her? She would weaponize it.
“I do everything for you,” she would say, voice dripping with disappointment. “And this is how you repay me?”
The day we packed our bags to leave, she stood in the doorway with her arms crossed.
An older woman standing in a doorway | Source: Midjourney
“You’ll regret this,” she said.
That was months ago. Now, as I sat in our new home, listening to Leo hum quietly while stacking his Legos, I felt something close to peace.
But then… There was a sharp knock at the door.
My heart skipped a beat. For a split second, I imagined opening the door to my mother-in-law’s smirk.
But when I pulled it open, I found a man in a suit holding an envelope.
“Are you Sarah?”
A man in a suit | Source: Midjourney
I nodded.
“You’ve been served.”
My fingers trembled as I took the document. A lawsuit notice. A court summons.
My heart pounded against my chest as I skimmed the accusations: unpaid utility bills, property damage, unlawful departure.
She had found us.
But how?
We had done everything right.
We’d changed numbers and deleted social media. We hadn’t told anyone where we were going. We’d cut her off completely.
Yet, somehow, Inga had found us.
A woman standing in a neighborhood | Source: Midjourney
I turned to Max, my hands clutching the papers. “She knows where we are.”
I showed Max the papers and watched his eyebrows furrow as he read them.
“It’s another power move,” he said. “But this time, it’s going to be her last.”
A bitter laugh bubbled in my throat. “She’s suing us for her bills, Max. Bills that were always in her name. How does she think she’s going to win this?”
Max exhaled sharply. “She doesn’t need to win. She just needs to make our lives miserable.”
A man standing in his living room | Source: Midjourney
And at that, she was succeeding.
I still remember how she told us not to go for a proper contract when we decided to move into her house.
“We’re family,” she said.
And now, she was suing the same family by lying that we didn’t pay her anything.
How could she stoop so low? What was she even thinking?
A close-up shot of a woman’s face | Source: Midjourney
A few days later, Leo came home from school looking pale and upset.
“Grandma came to my school today,” he said. “She said she missed me and wanted to talk, but I asked the teacher to tell her to leave.”
My blood turned to ice.
I dropped to my knees in front of him, gripping his shoulders. “She talked to you?”
Leo shook his head quickly. “No. The teacher didn’t let her. But she saw me. She waved at me from the gate.”
An upset boy | Source: Midjourney
That night, Leo tossed and turned, mumbling in his sleep, trapped in another nightmare.
And I knew this was all because of Inga. This had to stop. I couldn’t let her ruin our lives anymore.
The following morning, I stepped outside to grab the mail. And that’s when I learned about Inga’s final move.
Our mailbox had an electricity bill addressed to Max.
The date? After we had moved out of Inga’s house. She wanted us to pay for electricity we hadn’t even used.
A woman holding a document | Source: Midjourney
I gripped the paper and stomped back into the house.
“She’s been running up charges in our name,” I told Max. “This is fraud.”
Max exhaled. “All she wants is to make us look like we’ve committed a grave sin by moving out…”
That’s when I realized what Inga was doing wasn’t just about money. This was about control. About dragging us into court and humiliating us.
But if she thought we were going to roll over and let her win, she was in for a surprise.
The day of the hearing arrived, and as we walked into the courtroom, I saw her sitting there.
She was ready for battle.
An older woman sitting in a courtroom | Source: Midjourney
Soon, the performance began.
“I opened my home to them, I paid their bills, I took care of them… and they left me with nothing but ruin!” she sobbed theatrically, dabbing at dry eyes with a tissue.
I glanced at the judge. He wasn’t buying it.
A judge in a courtroom | Source: Pexels
But then Inga went for the kill.
She turned toward Leo and gasped dramatically. “My own grandson won’t even look at me now. My heart is broken!”
That’s when Max’s hands clenched into fists. I guess he was done.
“Enough, Mom,” he spoke up. “You never paid for us. You took our money, claiming it was for bills, but you never actually paid them. And you deliberately ruined our rental history.”
He turned to the judge. “And we can prove it.”
I took out the stack of papers.
A stack of papers | Source: Midjourney
The documents had a full record of every payment we had made. It was proof that we had always given Inga the money for the bills she claimed to have paid.
There was also a police report from the day we moved out, documenting Inga’s threats.
And a copy of the new electricity bill dated after we left.
Inga wasn’t ready for this. Her eyes widened the moment she saw us submitting the documents.
“No! This isn’t fair!” she shrieked, scrambling to her feet. “They lied! They manipulated everything! You can’t do this!”
An angry woman | Source: Midjourney
The judge barely spared her a glance. “Sit down, or you’ll be held in contempt.”
Inga’s chest heaved. “I took care of them! I gave them everything! And this is how they repay me?!”
Max exhaled sharply, shaking his head. “We don’t owe you anything. Not anymore.”
The judge’s verdict was swift. Case dismissed.
And then? A formal warning against Inga for harassment.
A judge holding a gavel | Source: Midjourney
Inga lost, and we won. But for some reason, it didn’t feel like a real win. I guess that was because Inga still knew our address, and she could still show up to our house or go to Leo’s school to meet him.
The following day, I told Max something he wasn’t expecting.
“We’re moving. For good this time.”
“What?” he blurted out. “Moving again?”
“That’s the only way to ensure your mother stays away from us,” I said, picking up my phone.
A woman using her phone | Source: Pexels
I called our real estate agent and told him we needed to move somewhere else. Somewhere far away from this place.
Three weeks later, we settled into a beautiful house in a quiet, welcoming neighborhood. Leo laughed more, slept better, and finally felt safe.
Max, too, seemed lighter, especially when he received an unexpected call from a top firm in the area with a brilliant job offer.
For the first time in years, I felt truly free. And this time, Inga had no way of finding us.
A woman looking down | Source: Midjourney
Sometimes, family isn’t about blood. It’s about boundaries.
Sometimes, cutting off toxic people isn’t cruel. It’s survival.
You see, some people will never respect your peace, and when that happens, you have to choose yourself.
What do you think? Would you have handled it differently?
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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