Ever find yourself needing a quick pick-me-up during a long day? Laughter is the perfect antidote to stress and boredom. This collection of 11 jokes is sure to deliver a healthy dose of humor.
Get ready to chuckle your way through these hilarious jokes about everything from bar buddies to blundering farmers. Whether you’re a fan of witty wordplay or quirky animal antics, there’s something here to tickle everyone’s funny bone.
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform waddling into a bar | Source: Midjourney
1. Drink Down
A guy walks into a bar and orders two shots. He drinks both and leaves. He does the same thing every day for a while.
One day, the bartender asks, “Why do you always order two shots?”
The guy says, “My brother and I used to drink together all the time, but now he lives far away. So, one shot is for me, and one is for him.”
Two brothers laughing while sitting at a bar | Source: Midjourney
This goes on for a while, and then one day the guy only orders one shot.
The bartender worries and asks, “What happened? Is your brother okay?”
The guy replies, “Yeah, he’s fine. I just quit drinking.”
Man looking sad while sitting at a bar | Source: Midjourney
2. Penguin Parade
A police officer stopped a semi-truck driver and asked for his license and registration. The officer heard odd sounds from the trailer and decided to inspect it. He found 50 penguins inside.
“Why are there 50 penguins in your truck?” the officer asked.
“They’re my buddies,” the driver replied. “We enjoy traveling together.”
“You can’t just own 50 penguins,” the officer said. “You need to take them to the zoo.”
Police officer frowning next to a semi-truck holding a notepad | Source: Midjourney
The driver agreed and drove away. The next day, the same officer stopped the same truck and heard the same strange noises. He checked the trailer and found the same 50 penguins.
“I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!” the officer exclaimed.
“I did!” the driver responded. “They had a great time. Today, we’re going to the beach.”
Penguins walking through a regular sunny beach | Source: Midjourney
3. The Plasterer
A duck waddled into a pub and asked for a beer and a ham sandwich.
The bartender stared and said, “Hold on a sec! You’re a duck!”
“That’s pretty obvious,” the duck replied.
“And you talk!” shouted the bartender.
“And you hear well!” the duck said. “Now, about that beer and sandwich?”
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform sitting at a bar eating a sandwich | Source: Midjourney
“Oh, right, sorry,” the bartender said, pouring the duck’s beer. “We don’t get many ducks around here. What brings you in?”
“I’m working at that construction site over there,” the duck explained. “I’m a plasterer.”
The bartender was surprised, but let the duck be when he pulled out a newspaper to read.
The duck read the paper, ate his food, and left. He did this every day for two weeks.
A duck sitting at a bar reading a newspaper | Source: Midjourney
Then, the circus came to town. The circus manager came into the pub, and the bartender said, “Hey, you’re with the circus, right? I know a duck who’d be a star in your show! He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the paper… he’s amazing!”
“Is that right?” the circus manager said, handing the bartender his card. “Tell him to give me a call.”
The next day, when the duck came in, the bartender said, “Hey Mr. Duck, I think I found you a fantastic job that pays really well.”
“I’m always interested in new opportunities,” the duck said. “Where is it?”
“At the circus,” the bartender answered.
A circus in a field | Source: Midjourney
“The circus?” the duck asked.
“Yep,” said the bartender.
“The circus?” the duck asked again. “The one with the big tent?”
“Exactly!” said the bartender.
“With the animals in cages and people living in trailers?” asked the duck.
“That’s the one,” said the bartender.
“And the tent is made of that heavy fabric with a hole at the top?” the duck asked.
“That’s right!” said the bartender.
The duck shook his head and said, “Why would they need a plasterer?”
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform working as a plasterer | Source: Midjourney
4. Slowpoke Centipede
A man saw a sign at a pet store that said, “Talking Centipede $100.” He thought it was cool and bought it. When he got home, he opened the box and asked the centipede if it wanted to grab a beer. The centipede didn’t say anything, so the man thought he got ripped off.
After a while, he tried again. He shouted, “Want to go get a beer?” The centipede popped out of the box and said, “Be quiet! I heard you the first time! I’m putting my shoes on!”
A fairytale version of a centipede talking and putting on shoes inside a box | Source: Midjourney
5. Hell’s Handyman
An engineer died and went to Hell.
The devil was shocked because engineers don’t usually go there. Hell was a mess: the AC was busted, the pool was empty, and everything was broken.
The engineer got to work fixing things. He fixed the AC, filled the pool, and even made the roads better.
God saw that everyone in Hell was having fun, which wasn’t right. He asked the devil what was going on.
A cartoon version of God in Hell looking confused because people are having fun at the pool | Source: Midjourney
The devil said, “That engineer you sent here has been fixing everything. He’s made Hell a nice place!”
God said, “What? Engineers don’t belong in Hell! That was a mistake. Send him back so I can put him in Heaven!”
The devil said, “No way, we like him here.”
God said, “Send him back, or I’ll sue you!”
The devil laughed and said, “Where are you going to find a lawyer?”
A cartoon version of the devil in Hell shrugging with people having fun at the pool | Source: Midjourney
6. The Big-Time Lawyer
Joe left his small town to go to college and law school. He became a lawyer and went back to his hometown because he wanted to be a big deal there.
He opened his own office, but no one came at first. One day, he saw a man walking toward his office. Joe wanted to impress this man, so he pretended to be on the phone.
A man sitting on a desk in a tiny office talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
When the man walked in, Joe started talking loudly on the phone, saying things like, “No way! Tell those guys in New York I want $1 million! I’m going to court next week! My team is the best! We’re going to win for sure! Yeah, the judge already knows I’m right! No, I don’t care what they offer, we’re not backing down!”
He talked like this for a long time while the man waited. Finally, Joe hung up the phone and said to the man, “Sorry I took so long, I’m really busy. What can I do for you?”
The man answered, “I’m here to install your phone line.”
Man in uniform standing by the doorway of an office | Source: Midjourney
7. Chick Magnet
A man from the city moved to the countryside and wanted to try farming. He went to the farm store and said, “I’ll take 100 baby chicks.”
The store worker gave him the chicks.
A week later, the man came back and said, “I need 200 baby chicks this time.” The worker gave him the chicks.
Another week passed, and the man returned. He said, “Give me 500 baby chicks.”
“Wow,” the worker said, “you must be doing great!”
A man dressed as a farmer smiling with small chicks nearby | Source: Midjourney
“Nope,” the man sighed. “I’m either putting them in the ground too deep or too far apart.”
8. Bachelors
Two single guys were chatting, and they started talking about cooking.
“I got a cookbook last year,” the first guy said, “but I couldn’t make anything from it.”
“Was it too hard?” the second guy asked.
“Totally! Every recipe started the same way: ‘Get a clean plate and…'”
A man holding a cookbook in a kitchen with a sink full of dirty plates | Source: Midjourney
9. Copy That?
A new worker was puzzled by the office shredder.
“Want some help?” offered a nearby secretary.
“Yes,” he said, “how do I use this?”
“Easy,” she replied, taking his thick report and putting it in the shredder.
“Thanks,” he smiled, “but what side do the copies come out?”
Man shrugging confused next to a paper shredder in an office hallway | Source: Midjourney
10. Whoa, Amen!
A man got lost in the desert. After wandering for weeks, he found a small house. He was tired and weak, so he crawled to the house and fainted.
The owner of the house, a kind and religious man, found him and helped him get better. When the man felt stronger, he asked for directions to the nearest town.
As he was leaving, he saw a horse. He asked the owner if he could borrow it. The owner agreed but said, “To make the horse go, say ‘Thank God.’ To make it stop, say ‘Amen.'”
A horse drinking water from a puddle next to a small house in a deserted area | Source: Midjourney
The man didn’t really listen and said, “Okay, sure.” He got on the horse and said, “Thank God,” and the horse started walking. He said, “Thank God, thank God,” and the horse started running. Feeling brave, the man shouted, “Thank God, thank God, thank God!” and the horse went even faster.
Suddenly, he saw a cliff ahead. He tried to stop the horse, yelling, “Whoa, stop!” Then he remembered, “Amen!”
The horse stopped right at the edge of the cliff. The man took a deep breath and said, “Thank God.”
Man looking scared riding a horse | Source: Midjourney
11. Nutty Natter
A man went into a bar and ordered a beer. As he was drinking, he heard a voice say, “Nice tie!” He looked around, but he and the bartender were the only ones there. Then the voice said, “I like your shirt!” Confused, the man called the bartender over.
“Am I losing it?” he asked. “I keep hearing voices telling me nice things, but no one else is here.”
“It’s the peanuts,” the bartender answered.
“What?” the man asked.
“The peanuts,” the bartender said again. “They’re complimentary.”
Peanuts in a smiley face bowl on a bar counter | Source: Midjourney
My MIL Mistreated My Son from My Previous Marriage When I Wasn’t Around — When I Found Out, I Taught Her a Proper Lesson
Alice always thought her mother-in-law, Linda, was a kind and respectable woman. But when she discovered Linda’s cruel treatment of her 12-year-old son from a previous marriage, Alice planned a public revenge that would destroy Linda’s perfect reputation for good.
I’ve always thought my mother-in-law, Linda, was a good woman. She’s a school teacher, well-respected, and always smiling. It seemed like she loved my sons, Peter, who’s 12, and Matthew, 6. Peter is from my first marriage. His dad passed away when Peter was only four. It was a hard time for both of us, but I did my best to raise him on my own.
A woman hugging her sons | Source: Midjourney
Four years later, I met Greg. He’s kind, soft-spoken, and never likes conflict. He’s a great dad to Matthew, and he tries with Peter, but sometimes he lets his mom, Linda, have too much say in our family. He doesn’t stand up to her. And, well, I never thought he had to. I thought she cared for us all.
Lately, though, something’s been bothering me. Peter has seemed quieter, more withdrawn, especially after spending time with Linda. I’d ask him, “Is everything okay, honey?” and he’d just shrug, “Yeah, I’m fine, Mom.” But I could tell something was off. I didn’t want to push him, so I waited, hoping he’d open up when he was ready.
A sad boy | Source: Pexels
Then one day, I decided to pick up the boys from Linda’s house unannounced. Peter and Matthew were staying there for a few days each week during summer break, and I thought it would be nice to surprise them. I packed up some of their favorite food and a couple of new toys and headed over.
As I pulled into her driveway, I smiled, imagining the boys’ faces when they saw me. I didn’t knock—I never do. It’s family, after all. I reached for the doorknob, expecting to hear laughter or the sound of them playing. Instead, what I heard made me stop in my tracks.
A woman standing by the door | Source: Midjourney
“Peter! I told you to stay in the room and not come out, you little—”
My heart froze. I heard Peter’s voice, small and shaky, “Grandma, please, I’m sorry…”
“I’m not your grandma! Don’t you ever call me that again! You’ll stay in that room until I say you can come out. Understand?”
Then, I heard Matthew. His voice was soft, “Please, Grandma, don’t be mad at Peter. He didn’t mean it.”
A sad boy sitting on a chair | Source: Pexels
I needed to act, but I couldn’t just storm in. I had to be smart about it. My hands were shaking as I reached into my bag for my phone. I pressed record.
Linda’s response was sharp. “You listen to me, Matthew. He’s not your brother, and he never will be. You don’t need to defend him.”
I could feel the anger bubbling up inside me. How could she say such horrible things to my son? To both of them?
A woman holding her phone | Source: Pexels
I stood there, recording everything—the cruel words, Peter’s sobs, Linda’s coldness. My heart was breaking, but I kept filming. I needed to have proof. I had to show Greg. He had to know what kind of woman his mother really was.
Once I had enough, I pushed the door open with a forced smile. “Surprise!” I called out, my voice trembling slightly, though I hoped she wouldn’t notice.
Peter didn’t look at me. He kept his head down, his eyes fixed on the floor. Matthew ran to me, hugging my leg. “Mom! You’re here!”
A boy hugging his mother | Source: Midjourney
“Of course, sweetie,” I said, stroking his hair and glancing over at Peter, who stayed near the door, looking so small and sad.
“Peter,” I said gently, “come here, sweetheart.” He hesitated but slowly made his way over to me. I hugged him tightly, my heart aching as I felt his little body trembling. “Everything okay?” I asked, though I already knew the answer.
Before Peter could respond, Linda jumped in. “Oh, he’s just a little upset about a game we were playing. Right, Peter?”
A smiling middle-aged woman | Source: Pexels
Peter glanced at her, then back at me, his face pale. “Yeah…just a game.”
I swallowed hard, forcing myself to smile at Linda. “Well, it looks like you’ve had a long day. I’ll take the boys home now.”
As I led the boys out to the car, I could feel Linda’s eyes on me. I didn’t say a word, but I knew she knew. And she knew I wasn’t the same trusting daughter-in-law anymore.
A middle-aged woman looking over her shoulder | Source: Pexels
We got into the car, and I drove in silence, my mind racing with what I had just witnessed.
I could hardly keep my fury in check as I drove home. Linda had smiled, played the sweet grandmother, all while my son suffered. My heart pounded in my chest, but I knew I had to stay calm for Peter and Matthew. They didn’t need to see my anger, not yet.
Back home, Peter went straight to his room, and Matthew followed behind. As soon as they were out of sight, I collapsed onto the couch, pulling out my phone to watch the video again. The raw anger in Linda’s voice, her cruel words, echoed in my ears.
A woman looking at her phone | Source: Pexels
I had to do something. I couldn’t just let this go. But how could I expose her without making things worse for the boys?
I didn’t sleep much that night. My mind raced, imagining all the ways I could get back at her. By morning, I had a plan. It wasn’t enough just to confront her. I had to make sure the whole world saw the truth.
A sleepless woman lying in bed | Source: Midjourney
A few days later, I heard through a friend that the school where Linda worked was holding a big celebration where teachers would be honored, and Linda was supposed to give a speech. It was the perfect opportunity. If I timed it right, I could reveal her true nature in front of the entire school.
I transferred the video to a USB drive, feeling a strange sense of satisfaction as I imagined Linda’s face when the footage played. But I knew I couldn’t do it alone. I needed someone who could help me set it up. That’s when I called my friend Sarah, who has always been good with technology.
A woman talking on her phone | Source: Pexels
We made a plan. I’d attend the event like any other parent, sit quietly in the audience, and Sarah would take care of the rest. As Linda walked on stage to deliver her speech, Sarah would play the video for the whole room to see.
The day of the event came quickly. I dressed simply, blending in with the other parents as we gathered in the school auditorium. The atmosphere was festive—students running around, parents chatting, teachers mingling. Linda was there, smiling, laughing, shaking hands with colleagues. She had no idea what was about to happen.
Young children running around in a school yard | Source: Midjourney
As the principal took the stage and introduced the event, I spotted Sarah sitting near the tech booth, giving me a discreet nod. Everything was in place.
“And now, we’ll hear from one of our most respected teachers,” the principal announced. “Please welcome your beloved teacher, Mrs. Rodgers.”
The applause was thunderous as Linda walked up to the microphone, a confident smile on her face. She began her speech, talking about the importance of education, community, and kindness. The hypocrisy of it all made my blood boil.
A middle-aged woman talking on stage | Source: Midjourney
Then, it happened.
Suddenly, the screen behind her flickered, and the sound of Linda’s voice—her real voice—filled the room. “You listen to me, Matthew. He’s not your brother, and he never will be.” Her harsh words echoed through the auditorium.
Gasps filled the room. Parents exchanged horrified looks. Some covered their mouths in disbelief. Teachers, once smiling and proud, were now staring at Linda with shock and disgust.
A shocked woman in the audience | Source: Midjourney
Linda froze on stage. Her face went pale as she realized what was happening. She turned toward the screen, her mouth hanging open in horror. There was no escape. Every hateful word, every cruel insult she had thrown at Peter was laid bare for everyone to witness.
The video ended, leaving a stunned silence in its wake. Then, the murmurs began. Parents were whispering, shaking their heads, outraged. One mother stood up and shouted, “I don’t want her teaching my child!” Others quickly followed, their voices rising in anger.
A woman shouting from the audience | Source: Midjourney
“I can’t believe this! She’s a monster!”
“How can someone like that work with children?”
The principal, looking flustered, hurried to the microphone. “Please, everyone, calm down. We… we will address this immediately.” He shot a panicked glance at Linda, who stood frozen, unable to move, her career crumbling before her eyes.
A panicked principal on stage | Source: Midjourney
Within minutes, parents were demanding that their children be removed from Linda’s class. The school board had no choice but to act swiftly. By the end of the day, Linda was suspended, pending a full investigation. Her once-respected career as a teacher was over.
As I drove home that evening, I felt a sense of relief wash over me. I had done what I had to do. I protected my son, and I exposed Linda for who she really was. It wasn’t easy, but I knew it was right.
A woman driving | Source: Pexels
Peter and Matthew were playing quietly when I got home. I hugged them both, feeling lighter than I had in days. They didn’t know what happened at the school, and they didn’t need to. All that mattered was that they were safe, and Linda would never hurt Peter again.
Sometimes, justice comes in ways you don’t expect. But when it does, it’s worth every moment.
A smiling woman | Source: Pexels
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