They say money shows people’s true colors. When my brother’s fiancée demanded our family inheritance for her kids, I played along just long enough to ask one simple question. The silence that followed said everything we needed to know.
Growing up, Noah and I were inseparable despite our six-year age gap. He was my protector, my confidant, and the person who taught me how to ride a bike and stand up to bullies.
Two children standing in a park | Source: Pexels
Even as adults, we made time for weekly coffee dates and never missed celebrating each other’s birthdays. Our bond was unbreakable… until Vanessa entered the picture.
When Noah first introduced Vanessa to our family two years ago, I tried to be happy for him. She was attractive, articulate, and seemed to make my brother smile in a way I hadn’t seen before.
A man smiling | Source: Midjourney
Her two children from a previous relationship, a sweet six-year-old girl and her energetic eight-year-old brother, were well-behaved during that first visit. Mom and Dad welcomed them warmly, making sure there were kid-friendly snacks and activities.
“Amelia, I really like her,” Noah confessed to me after that initial meeting. “I think she might be the one.”
I hugged him and said all the right things, but something felt off. I couldn’t pinpoint it exactly. It was just the small moments that made me pause.
A close-up shot of a woman’s eye | Source: Midjourney
For instance, the way Vanessa smiled was strange when our parents talked about family traditions. The way she looked at our mom’s antique jewelry collection sent a shiver down my spine.
Moreover, she even casually asked about our grandparents’ lake house during the very first dinner.
“She just needs time to adjust,” Noah would say whenever I gently pointed out these moments. Maybe he was right. Maybe I was being overprotective.
Months passed, and Noah proposed.
A ring in a box | Source: Pexels
Everyone played their part well.
Mom helped with wedding plans, Dad talked about booking the country club for the reception, and I agreed to be Vanessa’s bridesmaid. We maintained polite conversation during family gatherings, but there remained an invisible wall between Vanessa and the rest of us. No hostility, just… distance.
“What do you think about Vanessa’s kids?” my mom asked me privately one day, folding laundry in the bedroom I’d grown up in.
“They’re good kids,” I replied honestly. “Why?”
Mom hesitated. “Noah mentioned they’ve been calling him ‘Daddy’ already. He seemed uncomfortable about it.”
An older woman standing in a bedroom | Source: Midjourney
I raised my eyebrows. “Did Vanessa encourage that?”
“He didn’t say,” Mom sighed. “I just hope he knows what he’s getting into.”
The wedding planning continued despite the subtle undercurrent of tension. Noah seemed happy most of the time, though I occasionally caught glimpses of hesitation in his eyes, especially when Vanessa would make casual comments about “joining the family fortune” or how her kids would “finally have the stability they deserve.”
A worried man | Source: Midjourney
Easter Sunday arrived, and Mom invited everyone for dinner. Vanessa came alone because her kids were with their biological father for the holiday weekend.
At first, everything was pleasant. Dad carved the ham, Mom served her famous scalloped potatoes, and Vanessa complimented everything with perfect politeness.
I should have known the peace wouldn’t last. As Mom brought out her homemade apple pie for dessert, I noticed Vanessa straightening in her chair, her eyes narrowing with determination.
An apple pie | Source: Pexels
She placed her napkin on the table with deliberate precision, and I felt a chill run down my spine.
Then, she cleared her throat loudly enough to silence the table. All eyes were on her when she folded her hands in front of her and said something unexpected.
“So, before the wedding, we need to settle something,” she announced. “It’s about the prenup.”
My fork froze midway to my mouth.
Noah’s face dropped instantly. He had clearly hoped she wouldn’t bring this up again, especially not here, not now.
A man sitting at the dining table | Source: Midjourney
“Vanessa,” he whispered, “we agreed to discuss this privately.”
She ignored him and continued.
“I think it’s completely disrespectful that Noah would even suggest a prenup. And what’s worse is that the entire family supports the idea of excluding my kids from his inheritance.” Her eyes narrowed as she glanced around the table. “Do you seriously expect them to just get nothing? That’s disgusting.”
My dad stayed quiet, pushing food around his plate.
An older man | Source: Midjourney
My mom looked uncomfortable, her eyes darting between Noah and Vanessa. The tension in the room was suffocating.
I took a deep breath and spoke carefully. “Vanessa, your kids aren’t Noah’s biological children. That doesn’t mean we dislike them, but they’re not part of our bloodline inheritance.”
She scoffed and rolled her eyes as if I’d said the most ridiculous thing imaginable.
“Are you joking? They’re going to be his kids! That means they’re family.” She pointed her finger across the table at me. “You people are acting like I’m just some gold digger showing up with strays. They’re his children too now, whether you like it or not.”
Mom flinched at her words.
An older woman looking straight ahead with wide eyes | Source: Midjourney
At that point, I felt anger rising in my chest, but I tried to keep my cool.
“You’re marrying into our family. That makes you our in-law,” I explained patiently. “But inheritance stays with direct descendants. Your kids will be loved, but they’re not heirs.”
Vanessa’s face flushed red. She leaned back, folded her arms across her chest, and said with ice in her voice, “So what, they’re supposed to sit and watch your kids get everything while they get crumbs? That’s not a family. That’s cruelty.”
Noah reached for her hand. “Honey, we’ve talked about this. I’m planning to set up college funds for the kids. They’ll be taken care of.”
A man talking to his fiancée | Source: Midjourney
“College funds?” She yanked her hand away. “While his blood relatives get houses and investments and everything else? That’s not equal treatment.”
My mother finally spoke up, her voice gentle but firm. “Vanessa, dear, we don’t mean to upset you. Family traditions around inheritance are complicated.”
“There’s nothing complicated about it,” Vanessa snapped. “Either you accept my children as full members of this family, with all the privileges that entail, or you don’t. Which is it?”
Dad coughed uncomfortably. “Perhaps this isn’t the best time—”
An older man | Source: Midjourney
“It’s the perfect time,” Vanessa interrupted. “I’m not signing any prenup that treats my children like second-class family members. Period.”
Noah looked miserable, trapped between loyalty to his fiancée and respect for our family traditions. At that point, I realized my brother, the one who had always protected me, now needed someone to protect him.
An upset man | Source: Midjourney
So, I made a split-second decision.
I looked directly at Vanessa and set down my napkin.
“Okay,” I said. “Then let’s make it fair.”
The sudden agreement seemed to catch Vanessa off guard. She raised an eyebrow, trying to figure out why I’d suddenly agreed.
“We’ll consider including your children in the inheritance… if you can answer just one question.”
Children holding hands | Source: Pexels
She smirked like she’d already won, relaxing back into her chair. “Fine. What is it?”
I took a sip of water, making her wait just long enough to feel uncomfortable. Then I asked, “Will your parents, or your ex’s parents, include my future children, or Noah’s biological children, in their inheritance?”
“Excuse me?” she said.
“Just answer. Will your family leave something to our kids?”
“Well… no. Of course not. That’s not how it works.”
“Exactly. That’s not how it works.”
The table fell silent. Mom and Dad exchanged glances. Noah stared down at his plate, but I could see relief washing over him.
A man looking down at his plate | Source: Midjourney
Vanessa flared up instantly. “That’s completely different! Don’t compare that to this. My kids deserve a place in this family!”
“And yet you just said our kids don’t deserve a place in yours,” I replied.
“That’s… that’s not the same thing at all,” she sputtered.
“How is it different?” I asked. “Family is family, right? Isn’t that what you’re arguing?”
She stood up from the table so abruptly that her chair screeched against the floor.
A close-up shot of chairs | Source: Midjourney
She hissed, “Don’t you dare twist my words. My children shouldn’t be treated like second-class. If you people had any decency, this wouldn’t even be a discussion. I’m marrying your brother. That makes everything that is his mine too. And that includes a future in this family.”
“Vanessa, you’re marrying our brother. Not our inheritance,” I said. “Your children are yours to care for and provide for. You don’t get to demand access to things that were never yours to begin with. That’s not love. That’s entitlement.”
At that point, Noah cleared his throat awkwardly. “Maybe we should talk about something else—”
A man smiling while talking | Source: Midjourney
“No,” Vanessa cut him off. “I want to hear what else your sister has to say about my children.”
“I have nothing against your children,” I said softly. “But this conversation isn’t really about them, is it? It’s about what you want.”
Mom stood up and began collecting plates. “Who wants coffee?”
An older woman talking | Source: Midjourney
But the damage was done.
Vanessa muttered under her breath as she sat back down, calling us greedy, selfish, and saying she was “embarrassed to marry into such a cold family.”
Meanwhile, Dad excused himself to help Mom in the kitchen. Once it was only me, Noah, and Vanessa at the table, I said my final words to her.
“Vanessa, we’ve made our boundaries clear. Bring this up again, and the wedding won’t be the only thing we’ll reconsider.”
She didn’t say a word after that.
Three weeks have passed since Easter.
A “Happy Easter” sign | Source: Pexels
Noah called me yesterday to say the wedding date has been pushed back. He mentioned “re-evaluating priorities” and thanked me for standing up for him.
And since that night, not a single word about inheritance has been mentioned again. But I catch Vanessa watching me differently now. She’s cautious around me because she knows I won’t tolerate her unjustified demands anymore.
Doctor Reveals Why Women Should Avoid Peeing in the Shower
The debate over peeing in the shower continues, with many advocating for the practice due to its water-saving benefits. However, Dr. Alicia Jeffrey-Thomas, a pelvic health specialist, warns that for those assigned female at birth, this habit could have unintended health consequences.
The Water Conservation Argument
One of the strongest arguments for urinating in the shower is its potential to save water. By eliminating the need for a separate toilet flush, a person could save approximately 2,190 liters (579 gallons) of water per year. If the entire U.S. population adopted this practice, it could lead to an annual water savings of 699 billion liters (185 billion gallons). This significant reduction in water consumption highlights the environmental advantages of shower urination.
Potential Health Risks: The Pelvic Floor Connection
Despite the environmental benefits, the potential health consequences of this habit must be considered. Dr. Jeffrey-Thomas explains in a TikTok video that regularly peeing in the shower may lead to pelvic floor and bladder control issues.
The Pavlovian Response
Dr. Jeffrey-Thomas likens this habit to Pavlov’s classical conditioning experiment, where dogs learned to associate the sound of a bell with food. Similarly, repeatedly urinating in the shower can train the brain to link the sound of running water with the urge to pee. This association may result in involuntary urination triggered by running water sounds, such as a faucet, toilet flush, or even rain.
Pelvic Floor Dysfunction Risks
For individuals with existing pelvic floor dysfunction, this learned association can exacerbate bladder control problems. Dr. Jeffrey-Thomas explains that urinating while standing in the shower does not allow the pelvic floor muscles to fully relax, potentially leading to incomplete bladder emptying. Over time, this can contribute to urinary retention and increase the risk of urinary tract infections (UTIs).
Some argue that squatting while urinating in the shower might alleviate pelvic floor strain. Dr. Jeffrey-Thomas acknowledges that a full squat position allows for better pelvic floor relaxation, but she still advises against making shower urination a habit. If one must urinate in the shower, a proper squatting position is preferable to standing.
Why Doesn’t Toilet Flushing Trigger the Same Response?
A common question is why flushing the toilet doesn’t condition the brain in the same way. Dr. Jeffrey-Thomas clarifies that by the time a person flushes the toilet, they have already urinated, so no association is formed. However, individuals who struggle to resist the urge to urinate when exposed to running water may already have underlying bladder control issues.
Understanding Pelvic Floor Dysfunction
Pelvic floor dysfunction is a common condition, particularly among women. The pelvic floor is a group of muscles that support the bladder, uterus, rectum, and other organs. Dysfunction occurs when these muscles become too weak or too tight, leading to symptoms such as:
- Urinary and bowel incontinence
- Lower back pain
- Pain during intercourse
- Increased urgency or frequency of urination
Factors such as childbirth, surgery, aging, obesity, and high-impact activities can contribute to pelvic floor dysfunction. Given that urinating in the shower might worsen symptoms, individuals should be aware of these risks before adopting the habit.
The Biological Factor: Why Female Anatomy Matters
Dr. Jeffrey-Thomas emphasizes that those with female anatomy are not designed to urinate while standing. Unlike male anatomy, where the positioning allows for better bladder emptying while standing, females may struggle to fully relax the pelvic floor in this position. This can lead to incomplete bladder emptying, increasing the risk of UTIs and other urinary complications.
Pros and Cons of Peeing in the Shower
Pros:
- Water conservation: Reduces toilet water usage significantly.
- Convenience: Saves time, particularly during a rushed morning routine.
Cons:
- Pelvic floor health risks: May contribute to bladder control issues and pelvic dysfunction.
- Conditioned response: Can create an involuntary urge to urinate when exposed to running water.
- Sanitation concerns: While urine is mostly sterile, it can still contain bacteria that may pose hygiene risks.
The Bottom Line
While peeing in the shower may seem like an eco-friendly and convenient habit, it is important to weigh the potential health risks. Dr. Alicia Jeffrey-Thomas’s insights serve as a reminder to consider the long-term effects of our daily routines. Striving for sustainability should not come at the cost of personal health. Ultimately, making an informed decision based on both environmental and health factors is key to maintaining overall well-being.
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