Growing up, my father was the kind of man who believed in the power of a handshake. He believed that a man’s word was his bond, and trust was something earned, not given lightly. Dad drove the local bus for years and was known around town for being fair, kind, and hardworking. He taught me that integrity and honesty were the most important things in life, and that’s how I grew up—believing in people, trusting their word, and hoping for the best.
When I met my husband, Mark, I thought he was cut from the same cloth as my father. He came from a modest background, talked a lot about how much he respected people who worked hard, and always presented himself as someone you could rely on. In the early years of our marriage, I believed that we shared those same values—honesty, integrity, and trustworthiness. But I soon learned that not everything is as it seems.
About three years into our marriage, Mark started talking about wanting to open his own business. He had always worked in various odd jobs, but he said his dream was to run something of his own—specifically, a small construction company. I supported him fully, but there was a problem: we didn’t have the money to get it off the ground. We had savings, but it wasn’t nearly enough to cover the startup costs.
Mark seemed stressed for weeks. He would stay up late at night going over business plans, researching equipment, and figuring out how to make his dream come true. Then one night, he came up with what he thought was the perfect solution: he suggested asking my father for a loan.
At first, I was hesitant. My dad had worked his whole life, saved up his money for retirement, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about asking him to lend such a large amount. But Mark insisted. He said he just needed $30,000 to get started, and he promised he would pay it back as soon as the business became profitable.
I still wasn’t convinced, but Mark assured me this was his big break. He said, “Look, I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t believe in myself. I know I can make this business work, and I’ll pay your dad back, no problem.”
So, I agreed, and together we approached my dad. I explained that Mark had a solid business plan, and although my father was hesitant at first, he eventually agreed to loan us the $30,000. He didn’t even ask for a contract—just a handshake and a promise that Mark would repay him within two years. My dad trusted us, trusted me, and believed that Mark would keep his word. That was the kind of man he was, always putting faith in people.
The loan was made, and Mark dove headfirst into starting his business. He bought equipment, hired a small crew, and began taking on jobs. For a while, things seemed to be going well. The business started bringing in money, and Mark was proud of what he had built. He was busy, but I was happy that he was living his dream.
But as the months went by, something started to change. The business wasn’t growing as fast as Mark had hoped, and the profits weren’t as high as he’d projected. He started working longer hours, becoming more distant, and growing more irritable. Whenever I brought up the loan from my father and asked when we would start repaying him, Mark would brush me off with vague responses like, “Soon, don’t worry about it,” or “I’ve got it under control.”
Two years passed, and not a single dollar had been repaid to my father. I was starting to get anxious, especially since my dad had never once brought it up. I knew he trusted us to do the right thing, but it was becoming increasingly clear to me that Mark had no intention of paying back the loan anytime soon.
One evening, I decided to confront Mark directly about it. I told him we couldn’t ignore the loan any longer, that it was time to start paying my father back. But to my shock, Mark responded with something I never expected: “What loan?”
I froze. I thought I had misheard him.
“The loan,” I repeated. “The $30,000 my dad gave us for the business. It’s been two years, Mark. We need to start paying him back.”
But Mark just shrugged, as if it was no big deal. “There was no loan,” he said. “Your dad gave us the money as a gift. He never expected it back.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I knew that wasn’t true. My father had made it clear that it was a loan, not a gift. We had all agreed on that. But here was my husband, denying the deal ever happened. I felt like the ground had shifted beneath me.
I tried to reason with him, reminding him of the conversations we’d had with my dad, the promises he made. But Mark just dug in deeper, insisting that I was mistaken, that my father had never expected the money to be repaid. I knew he was lying, but I didn’t understand why. What had happened to the man I thought I knew?
Days turned into weeks, and Mark continued to deny the existence of the loan. I was stuck in the middle, torn between loyalty to my husband and the knowledge that my father had been wronged. I couldn’t stand the thought of my dad, who had worked so hard his whole life, losing $30,000 because of my husband’s betrayal.
Finally, I decided to confront my father. I sat down with him, heart pounding, and told him what had been happening. I expected him to be angry or disappointed, but to my surprise, he just smiled sadly and said, “I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t want to pressure you. I trusted Mark, but I also trust you. You’ll do what’s right.”
His quiet faith in me broke my heart. I knew then that I couldn’t let this go. I couldn’t let Mark get away with betraying my father’s trust, and I couldn’t let my dad lose that money without a fight. So, I came up with a plan.
I knew Mark’s biggest weakness was his pride. He loved the idea of being seen as successful, and he hated the thought of anyone knowing that he wasn’t doing as well as he pretended. So, I told him I was pregnant. It wasn’t true, of course, but I needed to push him into action. I told him we needed to start saving for the baby, that we couldn’t afford to keep delaying our financial obligations.
Mark panicked. Suddenly, he was scrambling to find money, selling off parts of his business, even borrowing from friends. He managed to come up with $50,000, thinking it was for our future child. But when he proudly showed me the money, I told him the truth.
I wasn’t pregnant. The money was going to my father to repay the loan, and the rest would be mine for the trouble he had caused.
Mark was furious, but there was nothing he could do. I handed the $30,000 to my father, and the remaining $20,000 I kept as compensation for the stress and heartache I had endured. I left Mark shortly after that, realizing that the man I had married wasn’t the person I thought he was.
In the end, my father got his money back, and I walked away from the marriage, wiser and stronger. The experience taught me a valuable lesson: trust is something that should never be taken for granted, and when someone breaks it, there are consequences. Mark may have thought he could lie his way out of the deal, but in the end, I made sure he paid the price.
‘Outdated, punishing rules’ – Mom fights for son, 8, to keep his long hair despite schools rejecting him
Despite the fact that we all have mixed memories of school, we can all relate to the rules. This is a tumultuous moment of highs and lows.
While some rules, like the one against wearing jewelry to athletic events, make sense, it seems unnecessary to send someone home because they brought a certain soda or because they are wearing too much makeup. It also misses teaching opportunities for the kids involved.
The strict dress codes enforced by schools often clash with the times in children’s lives when they want to be different and express who they are.
For one mother and her child, these rules might have been excessive, and they might have kept an 8-year-old boy from getting an excellent education.
Farouk James of London, England, attracts the attention of model scouts due to his amazing hairstyle. He is currently working as a child model and has completed photo shoots in Italy and New York.
But his appearance has only made things difficult for him in the classroom; multiple institutions have rejected him due to the length of his hair.
Bonnie Miller, James’s mother, says she was told when her older brother was in school that his hair was too short.
Bonnie claims that Farouk’s father is from Ghana and that, in accordance with traditional traditions, his parents waited until he was three years old to cut his hair.
“At that point, he was attached— and so was I, to be honest— with his beautiful hair,” Bonnie stated to CBS News. “We kept the hair only.”
The family lives in the UK, where most schools have a policy against guys wearing long hair, even if girls are allowed to.
Bonnie claims that cutting a child’s hair violates their human rights.
“I will not give up trying to persuade governments to put legislation in place to protect children from these outdated, punishing rules,” his mother Bonnie wrote in an Instagram post.
“Despite the fact that Farok has done nothing wrong, you reject him! He will have to say farewell to his buddies when they are all accepted into the universities he so desperately wants to attend.
Because of this, Bonnie even started a Change.org petition to make hair discrimination illegal in the UK.
“We’re assembling a real team and dubbed it the Mane Generation,” Bonnie said. “We are going to fight this until these rules are changed. It also spreads over the entire world, not only the United Kingdom.
Farouk’s mother has an Instagram account that boasts over a quarter of a million followers, showcasing his lively nature and role as a child model.
They still get hate mail, though, despite all the love and support he gets online. Bonnie stated she received a lot of negative comments after discussing the family’s search for a school that will welcome Farouk and his hair on the well-known U.K. TV morning show “This Morning.”
“This is mental health week, so I’m surprised to be receiving lots of negative comments about Farouk’s hair,” Bonnie said in May of last year.
“Farouk refuses to cut his hair to appease people; it is a God-given feature of him, and he does not keep it long at my request.”
Bonnie argues that the clothing regulations for boys and girls in schools are outdated and often discriminatory because many schools prohibit braids and dreadlocks.
The mother vows that she will never give up on gaining acceptance for Farouk, his hair, and all the other children who encounter discrimination because they want to display their cultural heritage and identity.
In 2022, it will not be acceptable for people in charge of our children’s education to turn away a student because of the color of their hair. Farouk’s hair is an essential component of who he is. These rules should be prohibited.
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