I was stunned when my husband, Jake, handed me a schedule to help me “become a better wife.” But instead of blowing up, I played along. Little did Jake know, I was about to teach him a lesson that would make him rethink his newfound approach to marriage.
I’ve always prided myself on being the level-headed one in our marriage. Jake, bless his heart, could get swept up in things pretty easily, whether it was a new hobby, or some random YouTube video that promised to change his life in three easy steps.
But we were solid until Jake met Steve. Steve was the type of guy who thought being loudly opinionated made him right, the type that talks right over you when you try to correct him.
He was also a perpetually single guy (who could have guessed?), who graciously dispensed relationship advice to all his married colleagues, Jake included. Jake should’ve known better, but my darling husband was positively smitten with Steve’s confidence.
I didn’t think much of it until Jake started making some noxious comments.
“Steve says relationships work best when the wife takes charge of the household,” he’d say. Or “Steve thinks it’s important for women to look good for their husbands, no matter how long they’ve been married.”
I’d roll my eyes and reply with some sarcastic remark, but it was getting under my skin. Jake was changing. He’d arch his eyebrows if I ordered takeout instead of cooking, and sigh when I let the laundry pile up because, God forbid, I had my own full-time job.
And then it happened. One night, he came home with The List.
He sat me down at the kitchen table, unfolded a piece of paper, and slid it across to me.
“I’ve been thinking,” he started, his voice dripping with a condescending tone I hadn’t heard from him before. “You’re a great wife, Lisa. But there’s room for improvement.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Oh really?”
He nodded, oblivious to the danger zone he was entering. “Yeah. Steve helped me realize that our marriage could be even better if you, you know, stepped up a bit.”
I stared at the paper in front of me. It was a schedule… and he’d written “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife” at the top in bold.
This guy had actually sat down and mapped out my entire week based on what Steve — a single guy with zero relationship experience — thought I should do to “improve” myself as a wife.
I was supposed to wake up at 5 a.m. every day to make Jake a gourmet breakfast. Then I’d hit the gym for an hour to “stay in shape.”
After that? A delightful lineup of chores: cleaning, laundry, ironing. And that was all before I left for work. I was supposed to cook a meal from scratch every evening and make fancy snacks for Jake and his friends when they came over to hang out at our place.
The whole thing was sexist and insulting on so many levels I didn’t even know where to start. I ended up staring at him, wondering if my husband had lost his mind.
“This will be great for you, and us,” he continued, oblivious.
“Steve says it’s important to maintain structure, and I think you could benefit from —”
“I could benefit from what?” I interrupted, my voice dangerously calm. Jake blinked, caught off guard by the interruption, but he recovered quickly.
“Well, you know, from having some guidance and a schedule.”
I wanted to throw that paper in his face and ask him if he’d developed a death wish. Instead, I did something that surprised even me: I smiled.
“You’re right, Jake,” I said sweetly. “I’m so lucky that you made me this schedule. I’ll start tomorrow.”
The relief on his face was instant. I almost felt sorry for him as I got up and stuck the list on the fridge. Almost. He had no idea what was coming.
The next day, I couldn’t help but smirk as I studied the ridiculous schedule again. If Jake thought he could hand me a list of “improvements,” then he was about to find out just how much structure our life could really handle.
I pulled out my laptop, opened up a fresh document, and titled it, “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” He wanted a perfect wife? Fine. But there was a cost to perfection.
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I began by listing all the things he had suggested for me, starting with the gym membership he was so keen on. It was laughable, really.
“$1,200 for a personal trainer.” I typed, barely containing my giggle.
Next came the food. If Jake wanted to eat like a king, that wasn’t happening on our current grocery budget. Organic, non-GMO, free-range everything? That stuff didn’t come cheap.
“$700 per month for groceries,” I wrote. He’d probably need to chip in for a cooking class too. Those were pricey, but hey, perfection wasn’t free.
I leaned back in my chair, laughing to myself as I imagined Jake’s face when he saw this. But I wasn’t done. Oh no, the pièce de résistance was still to come.
See, there was no way I could juggle all these expectations while holding down my job. If Jake wanted me to dedicate myself full-time to his absurd routine, then he’d have to compensate for the loss of my income.
I pulled up a calculator, estimating the value of my salary. Then, I added it to the list, complete with a little note: “$75,000 per year to replace Lisa’s salary since she will now be your full-time personal assistant, maid, and chef.”
My stomach hurt from laughing at this point.
And just for good measure, I threw in a suggestion about him needing to expand the house. After all, if he was going to have his friends over regularly, they’d need a dedicated space that wouldn’t intrude on my newly organized, impossibly structured life.
“$50,000 to build a separate ‘man cave’ so Jake and his friends don’t disrupt Lisa’s schedule.”
By the time I was done, the list was a masterpiece. A financial and logistical nightmare, sure, but a masterpiece nonetheless. It wasn’t just a counterattack — it was a wake-up call.
I printed it out, set it neatly on the kitchen counter, and waited for Jake to come home. When he finally walked through the door that evening, he was in a good mood.
“Hey, babe,” he called out, dropping his keys on the counter. He spotted the paper almost immediately. “What’s this?”
I kept my face neutral, fighting the urge to laugh as I watched him pick it up. “Oh, it’s just a little list I put together for you,” I said sweetly, “to help you become the best husband ever.”
Jake chuckled, thinking I was playing along with his little game. But as he scanned the first few lines, the grin started to fade. I could see the wheels turning in his head, the slow realization that this wasn’t the lighthearted joke he thought it was.
“Wait… what is all this?” He squinted at the numbers, his eyes widening as he saw the total costs. “$1,200 for a personal trainer? $700 a month for groceries? What the hell, Lisa?”
I leaned against the kitchen island, crossing my arms.
“Well, you want me to wake up at 5 a.m., hit the gym, make gourmet breakfasts, clean the house, cook dinner, and host your friends. I figured we should budget for all of that, don’t you think?”
His face turned pale as he flipped through the pages. “$75,000 a year? You’re quitting your job?!”
I shrugged. “How else am I supposed to follow your plan? I can’t work and be the perfect wife, right?”
He stared at the paper, dumbfounded.
The numbers, the absurdity of his own demands, it all hit him at once. His smugness evaporated, replaced by a dawning realization that he had seriously, seriously messed up.
“I… I didn’t mean…” Jake stammered, looking at me with wide eyes. “Lisa, I didn’t mean for it to be like this. I just thought —”
“You thought what? That I could ‘improve’ myself like some project?” My voice was calm, but the hurt behind it was real. “Jake, marriage isn’t about lists or routines. It’s about respect. And if you ever try to ‘fix’ me like this again, you’ll be paying a hell of a lot more than what’s on that paper.”
Silence hung in the air, thick and uncomfortable. Jake’s face softened, his shoulders slumping as he let out a deep sigh.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t realize how ridiculous it was. Steve made it sound sensible, but now I see it’s… it’s toxic. Oh God, I’ve been such a fool.”
I nodded, watching him carefully. “Yes, you have. Honestly, have you looked at Steve’s life? What makes you think he has the life experience to give you advice about marriage? Or anything else?”
The look on his face as my words hit home was priceless.
“You’re right. And he could never afford to live like this.” He slapped the list with the back of his hand. “He… he has no idea about the costs involved, or how demeaning this is. Oh, Lisa, I got carried away again, didn’t I?”
“Yes, but we’ll recover. Now, let’s tear that paper up and go back to being equals.”
He smiled weakly, the tension breaking just a little. “Yeah… let’s do that.”
We ripped up the list together, and for the first time in weeks, I felt like we were back on the same team.
Maybe this was what we needed, a reminder that marriage isn’t about one person being “better” than the other. It’s about being better together.
How the Actors of Our Favorite Vampire Movie Looked When It Was Released vs Now
The Twilight franchise first stole our hearts through the books and then on the big screen with Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson as the co-protagonists. It’s been 13 years since its premiere in 2008, and that’s why we decided to learn about the lives of the actors who appeared in it and how they look today after putting aside their vampire costumes.
1. Kristen Stewart — Bella Swan
Although Kristen began acting as a child — at the age of 12 she was Jodie Foster’s daughter in Panic Room, and its success opened doors for her in Hollywood — it was her starring role in the Twilight Saga that undoubtedly made her worldwide famous. During the filming of the saga, Kristen participated in another film: Snow White and the Huntsman, where she played the naive princess. Some of her latest works are the films Crimes of the Future and Spencer.
2. Robert Pattinson — Edward Cullen
Without a doubt, his starring role in the Twilight saga brought Pattinson to stardom. However, the English actor was already known at the time. At the age of 15, he started acting in the London theater club, and, some time later, he was chosen to play Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. In 2022, he incarnated a new Bruce Wayne in The Batman, a film in which he stars alongside Zoë Kravitz.
3. Billy Burke — Charlie Swan
Before becoming an actor, Burke was a musician; at the age of fifteen he played music in bands and it was a record label deal that drove him to move to Los Angeles. He became known for participating in the television series 24 and for acting in Gilmore Girls and Fringe, a science fiction series. His most recent work is Fire Country where he gives life to Vince Leone.
4. Sarah Clarke — Renée
Before playing Renée, Bella Swan’s immature mother, Clarke worked alongside Billy Burke in the series 24. But her screen debut was in the world of advertising, in a Volkswagen commercial called Synchronicity. While the Twilight saga was being filmed, she ventured into crime and espionage as the CIA agent Lena Smith in the series Secret Affairs. Her last appearance was in the film Alchemy of the Spirit.
5. Justin Chon — Eric Yorkie
In the saga, Chon played Eric Yorkie, Bella’s classmate. But Chon has explored different terrain beyond the world of acting. Since 2015, he has been writing and directing — one of his films, Gook, received several awards, one of them for best director —, he has a YouTube channel and is a member of BgA, a group that parodies K-pop, a popular South Korean genre. Nevertheless, he has never left the screen and can be seen in his latest series The Casagrandes.
6. Michael Welch — Mike Newton
Before becoming Mike Newton, the friend in love with Bella, Michael Welch was known for his role as Luke Girardi in the series Joan of Arcadia. He has appeared in very famous series such as CSI: Las Vegas, Bones, and Criminal Minds. In 2022 he acted in the film Hot Seat and in the series Quantum Leap.
7. Anna Kendrick — Jessica
Contrary to most of Kendrick’s colleagues in the saga, her role as Jessica, one of the main character’s friends, is far from being the most important in her career. Anna has shared the screen with celebrities such as George Clooney, Meryl Streep, and Ben Affleck. She has even written an autobiographical book, Scrappy Little Nobody. Her last work was in the film Alice, Darling.
8. Christian Serratos — Ángela Weber
Apart from the role of Bella’s best human friend, her most important role was undoubtedly that of Rosita Espinosa in The Walking Dead. Then she played Selena Quintanilla in the Netflix series Selena, based on the life of the popular singer. In her personal life, the actress promotes a vegan lifestyle and is in a relationship with David Boyd, the lead singer of the Danish rock band New Politics, with whom she has a son named Wolfgang.
9. Nikki Reed — Rosalie
Nikki Reed became known in 2003 for playing one of the lead roles in the movie Thirteen. She co-wrote the screenplay with Catherine Hardwicke, who also directed the first movie of the Twilight saga. The film is based on Reed’s own life and earned her the award for best debut and several other nominations. The actress had her first child with another vampire, actor Ian Somerhalder— star of The Vampire Diaries —, whom she married in April 2015.
10. Kellan Lutz — Emmet
After the famous saga, he played very well-known (and strong) characters. He was Poseidon in Immortals, he was the voice of Tarzan in the animated film Tarzan, and was Hercules in The Legend of Hercules. His most recent work is in The Guardians of Justice series playing King Tsunami.
11. Ashley Greene — Alice
Before getting the role, she was not known in the movie industry. While the saga was being made, she starred in suspense and horror films, such as Summer’s Blood and, in 2012, The Apparition. In 2022, she appeared in two other movies: Wrong Place, where she plays Chloé, and The Immaculate Room in which she is Simone.
12. Jackson Rathbone — Jasper
Jackson’s career is divided between the world of movies and series and that of music. On the screen, he can be seen in films such as The Guardians of Justice and Until We Meet Again. In the music business, the actor was part of the band 100 Monkeys. As a solo artist, he released the album American Spirits Blues, where he shows his skills with different instruments, such as guitar, harmonica, banjo, and mandolin.
What is your favorite movie in the Twilight saga? And your favorite character?
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