
Hannah here, hello to all of you. I feel compelled to tell this experience even if it is tough to do so. I am 38 years old, the mother of two wonderful children, ages five and seven, and I have been married to my husband, Luke, for almost ten years. Like any couple, we have faced our fair share of difficulties. But more than anything else we’ve experienced, something that occurred on our most recent trip to Mexico truly startled me.
Envision the following: we are in Mexico, surrounded by breathtaking beaches and exquisite weather. This excursion had me giddy with anticipation. Admittedly, I had meticulously prepared everything since, well, I rarely get a break as a mom.
Our goal for this time together was to rekindle our relationship, unwind, and simply enjoy each other’s company. But Luke was acting strangely from the beginning. He would always say no when I asked him to take a picture with me or of me.
He might say, “I’m not in the mood,” or, “Can we do it later?” I didn’t give it much thought at first. Perhaps he was simply fatigued from the journey? However, it continued to occur.
I was wearing a new outfit that I had purchased especially for the trip, and we were on this gorgeous beach. It’s not often that I feel good about myself, especially with two kids and everything. “Could you take a picture of me with the sunset?” I requested Luke.
“Not now, Hannah,” he muttered, with a sigh.

A Caucasian female striking a photo at dusk on the shore | Source: Midjourney
I scowled, a little offended. “Why not? It will just require a moment.
He yelled, “I said I’m not in the mood,” and turned to walk away.
That hurt. We’re on vacation, what gives him the excuse that he can’t stop and take a picture? I was perplexed and humiliated.
I saw that he was extra careful with his phone the whole trip. Every time I passed, he would conceal the screen and even carry it into the restroom. I tried to ignore the feeling in my gut that something wasn’t right.

An image of a cell phone on a bed in close-up | Source: Midjourney
Luke was taking a shower one afternoon when I noticed his phone on the bed. The moment I picked it up, my heart raced. I had to know even though I know it’s immoral to violate someone’s privacy. I browsed his recent messages on his phone and unlocked it immediately.
A group chat with his friends was there. And my blood ran cold at what I read. “Imagine, guys, at her weight, she still wants me to take pictures of her,” he had written. In what part of the picture would she possibly fit? She has changed significantly since having birth.

A horrified female inspecting her phone | Source: Midjourney
My eyes filled with tears, and I felt as though I was gasping for air. Behind my back, this man—the father of my children and the man I loved—was saying such harsh things. I believed we were a couple and that he accepted me for who I am, but instead he was making fun of me in front of his pals.
I sat there in shock, putting his phone back. How was he able to? I was heartbroken and deceived. Even though our marriage was far from ideal, I never would have guessed he had such low regard for me. I cried in private so the kids wouldn’t hear.

A melancholic female patronizing a lodging room | Source: Midjourney
My tears eventually stopped flowing, and I started to feel angry instead. I would not allow him to escape punishment for this. I had to take action to demonstrate to him the repercussions of his statements. That’s when it dawned on me.
I pulled out my phone and looked through the pictures I had shot on the journey. Choosing my favorites, I shared them on Facebook with the comment, “Searching for a new travel companion.” Is my appearance so unappealing that even my spouse is reluctant to have me photographed?

A woman on a beach taking a selfie | Source: Midjourney
The post started receiving likes and comments almost instantly. Several of my acquaintances and friends also sent encouraging remarks. They expressed their dismay at Luke’s actions and complimented my pictures, calling me gorgeous. I did not elaborate on the details of his remarks, but the meaning was evident.
Luke realized my mood had changed as he got out of the shower. “Is everything alright?” he inquired, perhaps detecting the anxiety.

A woman sitting in a room with her phone open | Source: Midjourney
“It’s just fine,” I answered, not taking my eyes off my phone. I was unable to look him in the eye since I was still so hurt and angry.
I was still in awe over Luke’s betrayal the following day. The things he had spoken about me stayed with me. However, something occurred that caused this already complex scenario to get much more difficult.
I had learned just before our vacation that my uncle—whom I had never met—had passed away and bequeathed a sizeable estate to me.

A man in his middle years is shown signing a document up close | Source: Midjourney
I thought it would be a happy surprise to tell Luke this news, so I had planned to do so during our trip. However, after learning the truth about his true feelings for me, I chose to keep it to myself.
Luke’s mother, who had learned about the inheritance, somehow passed the message to him that morning. I had just finished packing our things and was about to call the trip when Luke entered the room with a bouquet of flowers.
I had noticed his embarrassed expression on a few other occasions when he realized he had made a mistake.

\A female individual packing her bag | Source: Midjourney
He began, “Hannah, I’m so sorry for everything,” and held the flowers out. I accepted them silently, waiting to see what more he had to say.
“I know I’ve been a jerk,” he went on. That was not the right thing for me to say. However, my dear, you can hire a trainer and drop some weight with your newfound wealth.
I was astounded by what I heard. Did he really think that an apology and a recommendation that I use my inheritance to make myself different for him would be enough? Racked with fury, I shot out, “Maybe I will, Luke. nevertheless, not so you can stare at me.

An image of a man clutching a bunch of flowers up close | Source: Midjourney
His expression was so precious. He thought I would simply forgive him and go on. But I had had enough. This was it—my breaking moment. “Luke, I’m divorcing you,” I stated, maintaining a calm tone despite my internal conflict.
His mouth dropped open as his eyes grew wide. Then he started crying, which surprised me. He pleaded, “Please, Hannah, don’t leave me.” “Now that I don’t have your money, all my plans are ruined. I was going to buy a new SUV to go off-road with my friends.”

An image of a man sobbing up close | Source: Midjourney
I was in disbelief. I realized then how little he thought of me. What my money could buy him was what mattered, not our bond or our family. I fixed a pitying yet determined glance on him.
You seem to cherish my money more than I do. You won’t use my money or subject me to humiliation in order to get your SUV; you will find another way. Luke, good bye.
I left him then, feeling both strangely relieved and saddened at the same time. Though this wasn’t how I had imagined my life to go, I had to take responsibility for my happiness now.
The remainder of the day was devoted to organizing my return home and initiating the divorce proceedings. My family and friends never stopped being there for me. I was able to reclaim my self-worth and confidence with the support of each message and comment.
I came to the realization that I didn’t require Luke or anybody else to affirm my worth or beauty. I was sufficient in my own right. I made the decision to go on with my life and put my children and myself first.
In the days that followed, I began exercising because I wanted to feel stronger and healthier, not because Luke suggested it. I made more time for friends, picked up new interests, and even thought about returning to school.
I ran into Luke at the mall one day. He half-complimented me, which astonished me. “Hey!” Hannah, I almost didn’t recognize you. You appear different. How are the kids and you doing?
I said, “We’re doing great,” not wishing to carry on the discussion.
“Hannah, I wanted to ask you if…”
Luke, I’m getting late. I have to be somewhere. I apologize, I said, and I turned to go. His normally composed, self-assured face was marred by sorrow and perplexity, as I could see from the corner of my eye.
But since I could finally live my life on my terms and feel confident in my own skin, that stopped bothering me. Instead of lamenting my failed marriage, I was prepared to go on with courage and self-love.
So, what are your thoughts? Did I respond appropriately, or did I go a bit too far in my response? In my position, what would you have done differently?
Elliot Page reveals how he responds to people who misgender him

The actor revealed his gender identity on Instagram in 2020 with a poignant statement, and he has since talked about his experiences since changing.
Elliott Page talked about his response to individuals inadvertently misgendering him.
Following his transgender announcement in 2020, Page has been transparent about his journey through transition, including the touchy subject of misgender identity.

The celebrity has been outspoken about his transition, sharing on social media images of his top surgery scars and regularly bringing attention to the difficulties faced by transgender persons.
Though Page said that occasionally it can become more unpleasant when someone overreacts to their own honest error, being inadvertently misgendering oneself can be a challenging moment for a trans or non-binary person.

He stated, “In those situations, I know the intent of people close to me in my life who are wanting to get it right,” in an interview with Variety in 2023. I don’t get offended if someone misgenders me.”
“It’s wonderful when someone goes to apologize,” he continued. However, let’s go on to the following phase of our conversation.Let’s move on before this becomes more complicated, concerning the misgendering perpetrator, and involves a different kind of energy.”
https://googleads.g.doubleclick.net/pagead/ads?client=ca-pub-4474563764641079&output=html&h=280&adk=1782072139&adf=2848638254&pi=t.aa~a.462992225~i.2~rp.1&w=567&abgtt=6&fwrn=4&fwrnh=100&lmt=1725452968&num_ads=1&rafmt=1&armr=3&sem=mc&pwprc=2224412124&ad_type=text_image&format=567×280&url=https%3A%2F%2Fblogerusa.com%2Felliot-page-reveals-how-he-responds-to-people-who-misgender-him%2F&fwr=0&pra=3&rh=142&rw=566&rpe=1&resp_fmts=3&wgl=1&fa=27&uach=WyJXaW5kb3dzIiwiMC4zLjAiLCJ4ODYiLCIiLCIxMDkuMC41NDE0LjE2OCIsbnVsbCwwLG51bGwsIjY0IixbWyJOb3RfQSBCcmFuZCIsIjk5LjAuMC4wIl0sWyJHb29nbGUgQ2hyb21lIiwiMTA5LjAuNTQxNC4xNjgiXSxbIkNocm9taXVtIiwiMTA5LjAuNTQxNC4xNjgiXV0sMF0.&dt=1725452968659&bpp=4&bdt=341&idt=4&shv=r20240829&mjsv=m202408290101&ptt=9&saldr=aa&abxe=1&cookie=ID%3D3f2645567c3eb605%3AT%3D1725178333%3ART%3D1725452548%3AS%3DALNI_MY6GbXfXHxmefIvhGS1Hj5W4vRWLQ&gpic=UID%3D00000ee687861dce%3AT%3D1725178333%3ART%3D1725452548%3AS%3DALNI_MZKeuGwT1AgAbe3aWgzjskyaGrt7g&eo_id_str=ID%3D775b948784ba4e3d%3AT%3D1725178333%3ART%3D1725452548%3AS%3DAA-AfjZ7yqkk0Mu1Q6ZSkF_HXr72&prev_fmts=0x0&nras=2&correlator=108238020878&frm=20&pv=1&u_tz=420&u_his=2&u_h=768&u_w=1360&u_ah=728&u_aw=1360&u_cd=24&u_sd=1&dmc=8&adx=92&ady=2187&biw=1031&bih=594&scr_x=0&scr_y=0&eid=44759876%2C44759927%2C44759837%2C31086547%2C31086638%2C44795922%2C95338228%2C95341534%2C95341663%2C95341875%2C95340845%2C95341514%2C95340253%2C95340255&oid=2&pvsid=369023912271415&tmod=707456502&uas=0&nvt=1&ref=https%3A%2F%2Fblogerusa.com%2Felliot-page-reveals-how-he-responds-to-people-who-misgender-him-2%2F%3Ffbclid%3DIwY2xjawFFMFNleHRuA2FlbQIxMAABHXHZbGGTWH_ZHoCMtrHdZ7bd71B5LaJ8MwK3FbfzbbaMweGLJs6upuXsKw_aem_QVni0c7eLd5csRLHeiMjdg&fc=1408&brdim=168%2C14%2C168%2C14%2C1360%2C0%2C1064%2C714%2C1048%2C594&vis=1&rsz=%7C%7Cs%7C&abl=NS&fu=128&bc=31&bz=1.02&psd=W251bGwsbnVsbCxudWxsLDNd&ifi=2&uci=a!2&btvi=1&fsb=1&dtd=19
Regarding the best ways for individuals to assist their trans friends, family members, or coworkers, Page emphasized that awareness and empathy are key.

There are numerous resources available to learn more about transgender persons and the realities of our experiences, he stated. Questions aren’t always bad, but there are situations, locations, contexts, and tones in which they should be asked.
In the end, Page’s remarks demonstrate that if being mistakenly misgender was the largest issue trans people faced, the world would be a lot better place.
https://googleads.g.doubleclick.net/pagead/ads?client=ca-pub-4474563764641079&output=html&h=280&adk=1782072139&adf=1962076895&pi=t.aa~a.1070682400~i.2~rp.1&w=567&abgtt=6&fwrn=4&fwrnh=100&lmt=1725452970&num_ads=1&rafmt=1&armr=3&sem=mc&pwprc=2224412124&ad_type=text_image&format=567×280&url=https%3A%2F%2Fblogerusa.com%2Felliot-page-reveals-how-he-responds-to-people-who-misgender-him%2F&fwr=0&pra=3&rh=142&rw=567&rpe=1&resp_fmts=3&wgl=1&fa=27&uach=WyJXaW5kb3dzIiwiMC4zLjAiLCJ4ODYiLCIiLCIxMDkuMC41NDE0LjE2OCIsbnVsbCwwLG51bGwsIjY0IixbWyJOb3RfQSBCcmFuZCIsIjk5LjAuMC4wIl0sWyJHb29nbGUgQ2hyb21lIiwiMTA5LjAuNTQxNC4xNjgiXSxbIkNocm9taXVtIiwiMTA5LjAuNTQxNC4xNjgiXV0sMF0.&dt=1725452968669&bpp=1&bdt=351&idt=1&shv=r20240829&mjsv=m202408290101&ptt=9&saldr=aa&abxe=1&cookie=ID%3D3f2645567c3eb605%3AT%3D1725178333%3ART%3D1725452972%3AS%3DALNI_MY6GbXfXHxmefIvhGS1Hj5W4vRWLQ&gpic=UID%3D00000ee687861dce%3AT%3D1725178333%3ART%3D1725452972%3AS%3DALNI_MZKeuGwT1AgAbe3aWgzjskyaGrt7g&eo_id_str=ID%3D775b948784ba4e3d%3AT%3D1725178333%3ART%3D1725452972%3AS%3DAA-AfjZ7yqkk0Mu1Q6ZSkF_HXr72&prev_fmts=0x0%2C567x280&nras=3&correlator=108238020878&frm=20&pv=1&u_tz=420&u_his=2&u_h=768&u_w=1360&u_ah=728&u_aw=1360&u_cd=24&u_sd=1&dmc=8&adx=92&ady=2878&biw=1031&bih=594&scr_x=0&scr_y=600&eid=44759876%2C44759927%2C44759837%2C31086547%2C31086638%2C44795922%2C95338228%2C95341534%2C95341663%2C95341875%2C95340845%2C95341514%2C95340253%2C95340255&oid=2&pvsid=369023912271415&tmod=707456502&uas=0&nvt=1&ref=https%3A%2F%2Fblogerusa.com%2Felliot-page-reveals-how-he-responds-to-people-who-misgender-him-2%2F%3Ffbclid%3DIwY2xjawFFMFNleHRuA2FlbQIxMAABHXHZbGGTWH_ZHoCMtrHdZ7bd71B5LaJ8MwK3FbfzbbaMweGLJs6upuXsKw_aem_QVni0c7eLd5csRLHeiMjdg&fc=1408&brdim=168%2C14%2C168%2C14%2C1360%2C0%2C1064%2C714%2C1048%2C594&vis=1&rsz=%7C%7Cs%7C&abl=NS&fu=128&bc=31&bz=1.02&psd=W251bGwsbnVsbCxudWxsLDNd&ifi=3&uci=a!3&btvi=2&fsb=1&dtd=1855
Transgender individuals are particularly susceptible to mental health issues, homelessness, and employment difficulties.
Additionally, for some trans individuals, intersectional variables like racism, disability, and class make this worse.

Some health organizations, including the UK’s, have guidelines that imply people should consider transitioning as a means of easing the symptoms of mental health issues like depression.
Consequently, rather of offering care that is gender affirming, they could attempt to “treat” this.
Remorse for gender affirming surgeries is among the lowest of all surgical procedures, much lower than those of common operations like hip replacements.
Transgender individuals who receive care that is gender affirming report significant improvements in their mental health, despite the discrimination and risk that comes with transitioning.
The lesson here is to simply apologize and move on if you inadvertently misidentify a transgender or non-binary individual. Most likely, they are more concerned with other matters.
If you’ve been affected by any of these issues and want to speak to someone in confidence, contact the LGBT national hotline at 888-843-4564, available Monday to Friday 4pm-12am ET and 12pm-5pm ET on Saturdays.
Leave a Reply