While celebrating a new life and transitioning into a new role, a mother found herself struggling to get a moment alone after she welcomed her daughter. A time that was meant to be exciting for her and her husband led to them having a big fight over their parenting roles.
In the whirlwind of joy and exhaustion in the early days of parenthood, a mother found herself longing for a mere moment of quietness and alone time. She took to Reddit to share her frustrations. She started off by explaining that she had only had her child for two weeks. Her daughter was strictly breastfeeding, but in addition to cluster feeding, she realized her daughter found comfort in being close to her.
A mother holding her new born | Source: Shutterstock
This meant that her new role allowed her little to no time alone. “I’ve showered once by myself since having her, and it only lasted long enough for me to soap up before she was crying and my husband was bringing her into the bathroom with me. I think I literally had all of 2-3 minutes,” she wrote.
On the contrary, she noticed her husband’s life had not changed. He still got to have long and uninterrupted showers every day but never understood why his showers frustrated his wife.
Each time she was in the shower, and the baby would cry, her husband would bring their newborn to her to calm her down. It made her angry that he did not even try to calm the baby down on his own, but his excuse was that the child loved showers, and seeing her cry hurt him deeply.
A mother with her baby | Source: Shutterstock
As sweet as his fears sounded, the Redditor still needed to find a way to get a full self-care routine without a baby being handed over to her. So, she decided to call in help. She asked her mother to watch her daughter as she showered. Her husband was not there when she reached out to her child’s grandmother, but when he arrived, he asked what his mother-in-law was doing at their house.
Surprisingly, he was angry at his wife’s decision to call her mother just to take a shower. “I could have watched her. Why would you do that?” he asked, to which the Redditor responded, “Every time you watch her while I shower, she ends up in here with me within 2 minutes of me being in here because you don’t even try to calm her down.”
A mother with her baby | Source: Shutterstock
Therefore, after five days of trying to shave her legs, she could not wait to enjoy the warm water hitting her body and relaxing her muscles. “I need to self-care,” the Redditor emphasized.
The original poster’s honest account of her experience as a new mother erupted in a chorus of voices from commenters sharing their own experiences and offering support. One commenter challenged the husband’s logic and suggested, “If, according to hubby, showers calm her down, why isn’t he taking her on his 30-60 minute showers?”
A mother looking stressed with her child | Source: Shutterstock
Another suggestion was for the OP to lock the door as a temporary solution and to teach her husband a lesson on respecting someone’s privacy. Another Reddit user said the husband made himself look bad in front of his mother-in-law, but it was time he realized that he could also parent his daughter without always running to his wife.
The discussion took a deeper dive into the dynamics of communication and support within the relationship. Commenters pointed out the absurdity that the husband had been more concerned about his wife calling her mother rather than making sure that his wife’s well-being was attended to. “You found a way around it. And now, even knowing how hard it’s been for you, he’s still not actually concerned about you; he’s just worried about how it looks to your mum,” remarked a commenter.
A man sitting next to a crib looking stressed | Source: Shutterstock
One mother said her husband once interrupted her hair appointment but she had a serious conversation with him and made him look back at the number of haircuts he had had since their baby arrived. She told him never to interrupt her alone time unless it was an emergency, so the commenter advised the OP to have the same stern conversation with her husband.
A couple fighting | Source: Shutterstock
Another commenter shared a personal story of how her husband had slacked at the beginning of their parenting journey and how she eventually found a way to work as a team. The mother said her baby was a bit fussy on the first night home and she would always take the lead and calm her down.
But after three days, she put on earplugs and requested her husband only wake her up when the baby needed a feed and let her partner take care of the baby during the night, which led to a more equitable parenting dynamic.
The commenter added that allocating responsibilities helped them both understand the difficulty and joy of caring for a newborn, but it also allowed them to foster empathy and understanding. “That night, my partner became an equal parent,” the commenter added.
Here is a story about a newborn who cried nonstop no matter what the parents did. But they eventually realized the answer to their child’s misery was in the crib.
Тhis Вridе Finishеd Knitting Неr Wеdding Drеss 4 Dаys Веfоrе Тhе Wеdding, Dосumеntеd Тhе Еntirе Рrосеss Аnd Shаrеd It Оnlinе
Weddings are some of the most beautiful celebrations one can experience in their life (usually). The deep connection between two lovers taking physical form in a ceremonious act for all to see is one that a lot of couples look forward to.
However, it also comes with months upon months of planning, stress, and even more planning. The one thing that a bride cannot go without—the special dress. Whether it be white, maroon, black, fluffy, frilly, or form-fitting, it must make the wearer feel likе the most beautiful woman in the whole entire world.
Some brides take the plunge of crafting their own dresses, be it for the challenge, for the love of the craft, or both. Today we delve into the story of Veronika Lindberg Heino, or Kika, who knitted her special gown for her big day in 6 weeks. She was kind enough to answer some of Bored Panda’s questions so let’s get into it!
Veronika Lindberg Heino, better known by her nickname Kika, decided to take up the challenge of knitting her own stunning wedding dress
Image credits: kutovakika
If you were given 2.5 kg of yarn and 250 hours, what would you create? Mayhaps a blanket, mayhaps a 3D portrait, or maybe a knitted wedding dress. Seeing as you clicked on this article for a very particular reason, you probably know by now that we’ll be speaking about the last option.
Opening herself to the challenge was Veronika Lindberg Heino, better known by her nickname Kika, who documented the birth of her special white dress, sharing the ups and downs with her followers on Instagram (which she started in 2017) and YouTube.
This project came about when she and her husband-to-be were both moving house and planning an impromptu wedding, making for a very stressful 7 weeks
Image credits: kutovakika
For what was already an intense project, life decided to add an extra bit of *spice*: they were moving house and planning their wedding, happening 7 weeks later, at the same time, so why not add in a project of great significance on top of it all? Unless you’re as skiIIed as Kika, I wouldn’t recommend it!
“I do love a challenge and I’m often a little bit over-ambitious, and the thought felt so wild and inspiring that I just decided to take the risk and do it,” the Finland-based knitter told Good Morning America (GMA). “I ordered 2.5 kg of pure silk yarn and announced my crazy plan on Instagram, and knew right then, there was no turning back anymore.”
She ordered 2.5 kg of pure silk yarn and announced her plans to her followers on Instagram, getting the project officially started with no way to turn back
Image credits: kutovakika
Kika based her design around Dior, Chanel, and Ulla Johnson’s dresses. She then sketched and planned the patterns. After all that, the knitting began!
Image credits: kutovakika
Nothing worth doing ever comes easy. It was a struggle finding time to knit in between moving, planning the wedding, and publishing her first book
Image credits: kutovakika
Instead of throwing Kika off balance, this added project seemed to have the opposite effect: it kept her grounded through the tumultuous time, at least for a while. Nothing worth doing comes easy, and this project was no exception, especially as she’d never knitted a dress before.
“The process was definitely intense, and the biggest struggle was to find enough time for knitting since we were in the process of moving and organizing the wedding at the same time,” said Kika. “Plus I published my first-ever knitting book, so it was definitely hectic. But, I also enjoyed it immensely and loved seeing my vision come to life in the process.”
Image credits: kutovakika
Then a big setback occured—her bodice was far too big, requiring her to rip it all up and start again. Her sleeves then kept slipping off, which took lots of time to fix
Image credits: kutovakika
Glaring issues started appearing about two weeks in when Kika had finished the bodice and tried it on for the first time—it was way too big. Disappointed, but not defeated, the bride-to-be ripped it all up, starting all over again, describing it as “a tough and frustrating moment where some tears were shed.”
One more issue came along with the slippy sleeves that kept on slipping, revealing a tad bit too much, which Kika found hilarious yet time-consuming to fix. “I made sure to film all my mistakes so I could be real and honest with my viewers, rather than only showing them the picture-perfect moments,” she told Insider.
Not having any other option (you typically can’t just go and buy a dress off the rack, as those require alterations, which take a long time), she kept moving forward until it was one week til the wedding. Encouraging messages from her followers kept her spirits up, the promise she’d made to the project at the very beginning providing her with a sense of accountability.
However, “the biggest motivator was definitely seeing for myself if I could pull my idea and vision off, and the thought of having the dress as a memory for life really kept me going, too.”
But all that didn’t deter her! Just 4 days before the big day, the dress was finished and Kika got to have a well-deserved rest
Image credits: kutovakika
Everything was done. She finished her dress on Tuesday, feeling more tired and frustrated than elated, but once she put it on for the ceremony, she couldn’t have been happier with the end result.
Kika got married to her husband Jukka Heino on Saturday, September 10, at their new home (which inspired the cottage-themed wedding tone), just 4 days after she’d finished her dress. Although her partner was a bit more skeptical about her last-minute knitting project, “in the end, he was super impressed and proud of me, and thought it looked really good too,” Kika said.
Image credits: kutovakika
Kika told Bored Panda that they’d met back in Spring of 2020, when she moved back home to Finland from London, as the pandemic put the world in lockdown. “Just a few months after moving back I met Juki and for our first date we walked around in Helsinki for hours since all cafés and bars were closed due to the restrictions,” she said.
“I was immediately drawn to his humor and often colorful stories of his adventures which made me laugh, and of course I found him really handsome. I think he was drawn to my enthusiasm, something we both have in common and my positive attitude towards life.”
She married Jukka Heino on Saturday, September 10, at their new home. Everyone loved her dress, praising her for all the effort she’d put into it
Image credits: kutovakika
“Over the course of the day, guests would come up to me and immediately feel the dress and comment on it. It sometimes felt likе they were more interested in the dress than in me, but I love talking about knitting, so I didn’t mind too much,” she told Insider.
The entire process demanded around 45 days, roughly 250 hours, and 1.5 kg of pure silk yarn, costing 300 euros, or around $295, which is a bargain when it comes to wedding dresses, which go for $1,800 on average. Her 149k followers on Instagram absolutely loved the journey, jumping in with suggestions and support any time she needed it.
The entire process demanded around 45 days, roughly 250 hours, and 1.5 kg of pure silk yarn, costing 300 euros, or around $295
Image credits: kutovakika
The 46-minute vlog of the whole journey posted on YouTube has garnered over 3.4M views, quickly becoming the highlight of her channel, which has over 253k subscribers that look forward to her knitting tutorials. “I’m absolutely amazed by all the positive attention the video and my dress has gotten, wow!” said Kika.
“I’ve received messages from people all over the world telling me I’ve inspired them to take up knitting again or to learn it, which makes me so glad. I’m also proud that I’ve maybe been able to push the boundaries and show what is possible using knitting.”
According to Kika, “knitting was actually done primarily by men at some point in history, so the fact that knitting nowadays is associated with something mostly feminine hasn’t always been the case.” Knitting is not just for grandmas, y’all!
The 46-minute vlog of the entire process garnered over 3.4M views on YouTube, inspiring hundreds of people to take up or go back to the craft
Image credits: kutovakika
What began as a bonding activity with her grandma when she was 5 years old has become a lifestyle, bringing together likе-minded people from all over the world. The one lesson she’d always kept was to be playful with the craft, rather than searching for perfection.
“With knitting there are a lot of ‘rules’ or principles that come with the territory which sometimes can make it feel likе you’re not doing things the right way,” she told Bored Panda. “My grandmother always encouraged me to make things without getting hung up on perfection, being creative and playful was more important.”
She hopes her followers and those who jumped on the bandwagon to see the final dress get inspired to embrace creative projects they might feel tempted to try—“even if it might feel a bit ambitious, I say go for it!”
We wish Kika and Jukka all the best for their future together and can’t wait to see what’s coming up for them next!
Image credits: kutovakika
A post-pandemic resurgence of knitting is a very welcome sight for many who are getting into arts and crafts for the first time or returning back to the familiar time-passing activity. Recent research shows that knitting has a measurable effect on calming anxiety, relieving stress, and aiding with chronic pain, as well as helping one build a community of friends. And you end up with a cute hat and mittens in the meantime!
“I think knitting as a craft teaches you a lot about patience and really makes you think about what kind of garments you most likе to wear,” Kika said. “When you’re going to spend 40-60 hours making a sweater, you really want to make sure it’s something that is going to stay in your wardrobe for a long time, which makes knitting a very sustainable practice, too.”
Honestly, what’s not to love!? We wish Kika and Jukka all the best for their future together and hope to see many more exciting knitting projects! Let us know your thoughts on the dress in the comments below, and I shall see you in the next one!
People have absolutely loved this project and the final dress. Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!
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