Eight years of marriage fell apart in an instant when my husband Mike brought home his pregnant girlfriend and kicked me out of our house. I packed my bags, but what I really unpacked was a clever plan for revenge!
Eight years. About 2,922 days. Roughly 70,128 hours. Every moment, my heart kept saying one name—MIKE, my husband. I thought he loved me just as much. Oh, how wrong I was! I’m Michelle, a devoted wife who loved her husband deeply, until that shocking night when my world turned upside down.
It was a Tuesday evening when everything changed. I came home tired from a long day at work and found a very pregnant woman sitting on our couch, munching on chips.
At first, I thought I must have walked into the wrong house.
But no, there was the awful floral wallpaper that Mike loved, and there was Mike, looking uncomfortable like he had just swallowed something prickly.
“Hey, Michelle,” he said, sounding as casual as if he were just asking for salt. “We need to talk.”
I stood there, frozen, trying to process what I was seeing. The pregnant woman smiled awkwardly, her hand resting on her belly, looking like she was in a drama show.
“This is Jessica,” Mike said, pointing to the woman on our couch. “She’s pregnant. With my child. It… it just happened. And we’ve decided to be together.”
I waited for the joke. Surely, this was some prank for a reality TV show. Maybe I’d win a car if I didn’t freak out?
But Mike looked serious, and Jessica kept smiling that annoying smile.
Mike looked offended. “Enough, Michelle! This is serious. I think it’s best if you move out. You can go stay with your mom. Jess and I will take over the house.”
I blinked. Once. Twice. Three times. Nope, still not a dream.
I half-expected Ashton Kutcher to jump out and tell me I’d been Punk’d. But no Ashton. Just my cheating husband and his very pregnant partner.
“Alright,” I said calmly. “I’ll pack my things and leave.”
Mike looked relieved, probably thinking he’d gotten off easy. Jessica’s smile got even bigger, like she had just won the lottery. Little did they know, their luck was about to change, and not for the better.
I went upstairs, packed a suitcase with my essentials, and left without saying a word.
As I drove to my mom’s house, the shock faded, and anger took over. But this wasn’t just any anger. This was the kind that makes you want to do something bold and incredibly satisfying.
The next day, I put my plan into action.
First stop: the bank. I walked in there like a woman on a mission, which I was. I froze our joint account faster than you can say “cheating jerk.”
The look on the bank manager’s face when I explained was priceless. I think he was mentally taking notes for his next book.
Next, I went to a locksmith.
I remembered overhearing Mike tell Jessica they’d be gone for three days, giving me plenty of time to carry out my plan. It felt like the universe was on my side, and who was I to argue with fate?
My next stop: my house. The same cozy home where Mike and I had once made plans for the future, which was now in ruins.
The confused locksmith probably thought I was crazy, laughing as I had him change all the locks on the house. I may have gone a little overboard and asked for the most complicated, high-tech locks. If I was going to do this, I wanted to do it right.
Then came the movers.
I gave them the spare keys and arranged for them to pack up everything I owned, which was basically everything in the house. I even took the toilet paper. Let’s see how Mike and Jessica enjoy using leaves!
But the best part? Oh, that was still to come. I had a brilliant idea that would make this revenge not just sweet, but unforgettable.
I sent out party invitations. A lot of them. To Mike’s family, our friends, his coworkers, and even that nosy neighbor who always complained about our late dog.
The invitation said: “Come celebrate Mike’s new life! Surprise party at our house, tomorrow at 7 p.m.!”
Then, I arranged for a billboard. Yes, a billboard. A huge one. It was delivered and set up on our front lawn, impossible to ignore.
In giant, bold letters, it read: “Congratulations on Dumping Me for Your Pregnant Mistress, Mike! Hope the Baby Doesn’t Inherit Your Infidelity!”
I stepped back to admire my work, feeling like a mischievous fairy godmother who just granted the world’s most ironic wish. With a satisfied smirk and a dramatic hair flip, I walked away, excited for the chaos to come.
The next evening, right on cue, my phone rang. It was Mike, and he sounded like he was losing it.
“Michelle!” he yelled, his voice reaching levels I didn’t know he could hit. “What the hell is going on? Why are there people at our house? And what’s with this crazy billboard?”
“Oh, that?” I said, trying to sound innocent. “Just a little housewarming party for you and Jessica. Don’t you like the decorations?”
“Decorations? It’s a freaking circus out here! And why can’t I get into the house?”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Well, sweetie, you told me to move out, remember? You never mentioned anything about you staying there. The house is under my name, so I changed the locks. Oops!”
There was a long pause on the other end. I could almost hear him trying to understand what was happening.
“Where are we supposed to go?” he finally asked, sounding lost.
“Gee, I don’t know, Mike. Maybe Jessica’s mom would love to have you? I hear pregnancy hormones and in-laws mix really well.”
I hung up, feeling lighter than I had in years. But wait, there was more!
In the following days, I had the utilities turned off, canceled the cable, and made sure all our shared assets were in my name. I put the house up for sale, making sure to mention in the listing that it came with a “bonus front lawn art installation.”
I had Mike served with divorce papers at his work. I even asked the mailman to dress up as a pregnant woman. Just for fun!
But the universe wasn’t finished with Mike yet. Oh no, it had saved the best part for last.
A week later, I got a call from Jessica. Yes, that Jessica. She was crying so much that I could barely understand her.
“Michelle,” she sobbed, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know… I mean, Mike told me you two were separated. And now… now he’s broke and homeless, and I’m pregnant, and I don’t know what to do!”
I almost felt bad for her. Almost.
“Well, Jessica,” I said, trying not to sound too happy, “I hear the circus is always looking for new acts. Maybe you two could start a juggling duo? You juggle the baby, and he juggles his lies?”
She didn’t appreciate my humor. Tsk! Tsk!
As it turned out, when Jessica learned that Mike was now homeless, broke, and the laughingstock of the town, she decided that being with a guy who had no money, no house, and no future wasn’t a great idea after all.
She dumped him faster than you can say “Karma’s a b****!”
Last I heard, Mike was living in a tiny apartment, trying to scrape together enough money to pay bills and feed himself. His family had cut him off, disgusted by what he did.
They even sent me a fruit basket and an apology card. I ate the fruits while relaxing in my new jacuzzi.
As for me? Well, the house sold for a nice profit. I moved to a beautiful new place, started my own business, and adopted a cat. I named him Karma.
With her blond hair & blue eyes, she was making waves in Hollywood – but look at her now
Kathleen Turner rose to fame in the 1980s with her strength and attractiveness – many consider her one of the most beautiful actresses in Hollywood.
It is this fortitude that has helped her through the many goods and bad times the actress has experienced over the years.
Kathleen Turner was reared in a home with four other children despite having a difficult upbringing. She and her siblings were raised in both Venezuela and London. She experienced tragedy when, at a young age, her father passed tragically suddenly while mowing the lawn of their Hampstead house.
The foreign service expelled Kathleen and her family from the UK a month after his death. Turner moved her family to Springfield, Missouri, where everyone was still mourning their father and their former residence..
After relocating to New York to pursue an acting career as an adult, Tuner at last experienced calm. Although she had some success on the stage, her big break came when she was cast as the femme fatale in the 1981 film “Body Heat.”
Three years after starring next to William Hurt, Turner was given a chance to co-star with Michael Douglas in the famous “Romancing the Stone.” Douglas was in a rocky separation from his wife Diandra at the time of filming, and he and Turner developed some feelings for each other.
“We were in the process of falling in love – fervent, longing looks and heavy flirtation. Then Diandra came down and reminded me he was still married,” Kathleen said.
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She eventually married the property developer from the film, Jay Weiss, in 1984. The two had their only daughter together soon after. Rachel Ann Weiss was born on October 14, 1987.
Unfortunately, the couple’s relationship began to fracture as they started raising their daughter.
“I’d make the movie companies give me long weekends or provide extra tickets so my daughter and husband could come to me. But there was a sense in the marriage the effort was all on his side, which made me feel guilty. It was one of the reasons it ended. I started to feel very oppressed. I thought, ‘Hang on a minute, you’ve done very well out of being married to me also,’” Kathleen explained.
Their marital issues reached a breaking point when Turner played Martha in the Broadway revival of “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” in 2005. Acting in eight performances a week caused Turner to become exceedingly busy, and it seemed Weiss didn’t want to spend any time with her when she was at home.
Turner received a Tony nomination for her performance as Martha during that period, and the two split peacefully.
In 1987, the actress received an Oscar nomination for her performance in “Peggy Sue Got Married.” In the 1980s, she continued to make movies and appeared in a number of blockbusters, three of which starring Michael Douglas.
Kathleen, however, suffered a medical setback in the 1990s when her neck locked, preventing her from turning her head. She also lost the ability to use her hands because of swelling in them.
“It was crippling,” Kathleen said. “You stop taking things for granted when you lose them, even temporarily. What I took for granted – my athleticism, my ability to throw myself around, and just be able to move however I wanted to. When I lost that, that was a real crisis of self: who am I if I cannot do this?”
Rheumatoid arthritis, which is defined by the swelling of the lining of our joints, turned out to be the cause of her unfortunate circumstances. Chronic pain brought on by this illness can be challenging to manage.
“When it was first diagnosed, I was terrified because they said I’d be in a wheelchair,” Kathleen explained. “I thought, ‘If I can’t move, I can’t act.’ Acting isn’t just what I want to do. I was born to do it. It’s at every point of my living. The idea of not being able to do it was the most frightening part – that and the constant pain.”
As a pain reliever, Kathleen used booze and medications. Although they made it easier for her to work, her propensity for consuming vodka caused her to pass out during dress rehearsals for plays like the 2002 theatrical production of “The Graduate.”
After the episode ended, the actress genuinely entered rehab, where it was discovered that she was not an alcoholic. She was instead instructed to just keep better note of when she took her prescriptions and any negative side effects.
The actress now practices yoga and pilates to help her manage her discomfort and stay flexible.
The celebrity started to truly concentrate on her theatrical profession while managing her pain better. Although she occasionally continued to work in cinema and television, she mostly went back to her origins as she got older, even starring in “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof” on stage in her forties.
“Because I knew that the better roles as I got older would be in theatre, which is absolutely true, so that was a little foresight on my part of which I am justly proud,” Kathleen said.
The actress has been able to devote more time to her passions by concentrating on the theater, including volunteering for Amnesty International and working for Planned Parenthood of America.
Turner has dedicated her life to supporting other women as a fervent feminist and has done so for the majority of her life. Send Yourself Roses, Gloria Feldt’s 2008 biography of the actress, accurately depicts her ideas.
“We are the first generation of women who are financially independent. Women are going back to work,” Kathleen said. “They’re reinventing themselves. I thought I could support that, even increase that. So it has got a lot of philosophy in it and a lot of my beliefs.”
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