For Nancy, her son Henry was everything. She couldn’t imagine life without him. It had been 23 years since the tragic accident that claimed Henry’s life, and every year on the anniversary, she honored his memory by bringing his favorite pie to his grave. But this year, something unexpected was about to happen.
For over two decades, Nancy, now 61, never missed a year. She would bake Henry’s favorite pie—an apple and cinnamon delight—and take it to his resting place. The scent of apples and cinnamon always brought back memories of her little boy eagerly running into the kitchen, his eyes lighting up at the sight of the fresh pie. It had been a tradition they both loved, a way for her to stay connected to him even after he was gone.
Since the accident that took Henry’s life at 17, this ritual became Nancy’s way of coping with her grief. The pain of losing him never truly left her, but baking the pie gave her a small sense of comfort, a way to feel close to her son.
On this particular day, as she carefully carried the freshly baked pie to the cemetery, the weight of the dish seemed heavier than usual. She placed the pie on Henry’s grave, gently running her fingers over the smooth stone that had become so familiar. “I miss you every day,” she whispered softly. “I baked your favorite pie again… I wish we could share it just one more time.”
With a heavy heart, she kissed her fingers and touched the gravestone, saying her quiet goodbye before leaving, as she always did. But the next day, when Nancy returned to clean up, she noticed something shocking—the pie was gone. Instead of the untouched or spoiled pie she usually found, the plate was empty. And on it was a folded piece of paper.
With trembling hands, Nancy opened the note. The handwriting was shaky, and it simply said, “Thank you.”
Anger surged through her. Who would take Henry’s pie? It was a private ritual, a way to honor her son, and now a stranger had intruded on that sacred moment. Determined to find out who had taken the pie, Nancy decided to take matters into her own hands.
The next day, she baked another pie and placed it on the grave, but this time, she didn’t leave. She hid behind a nearby tree, watching and waiting. After an hour, she saw a small figure approach. It wasn’t the thoughtless thief she imagined—it was a young boy, no older than 9, with ragged clothes and dirt on his face.
Nancy’s heart softened as she watched the boy kneel by the grave. He pulled out a scrap of paper and carefully wrote, “Thank you,” just like before. He wasn’t stealing out of disrespect; he was simply hungry.
As the boy reached for the pie, Nancy stepped out from her hiding place. Startled, the boy dropped the pie and backed away in fear. “I’m sorry,” he cried, “I was just so hungry. Please don’t be mad.”
Nancy’s heart broke for him. She knelt beside him and spoke gently, “It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m not mad. What’s your name?”
“Jimmy,” he whispered, ashamed.
“Well, Jimmy,” Nancy said with a soft smile, “you don’t have to steal. If you’re hungry, all you had to do was ask.”
Tears welled in Jimmy’s eyes as he explained how little he had to eat and how much the pie had meant to him. Nancy couldn’t help but think of Henry—how he had never known hunger, how he had always had more than enough. Jimmy, on the other hand, looked like he had been living with hunger for far too long.
“Come with me,” she said, standing up and offering her hand. “I’ll bake you a fresh pie, just for you.”
Jimmy hesitated, unsure if he could trust her, but eventually took her hand. Nancy led him back to her home, where she prepared a pie, just as she had done so many times for Henry. As the warm scent of apples and cinnamon filled the kitchen, Jimmy watched in awe. When the pie was ready, she placed it in front of him.
“This one’s all for you,” she said with a smile.
Jimmy took a bite, his eyes lighting up with joy. “This is the best pie I’ve ever had,” he said, his voice full of gratitude.
As she watched him eat, Nancy felt something she hadn’t felt in years—a deep sense of peace. For so long, she had baked pies for a son who could no longer enjoy them, but now, she was sharing that love with a boy who truly needed it. In some small way, it felt like Henry had brought Jimmy into her life, a reminder that love and kindness should always be passed on.
By the time Jimmy finished the last slice, Nancy’s heart was full. She realized that this unexpected connection was perhaps Henry’s way of showing her that even in her grief, she could still bring comfort to others. Maybe this was her new purpose—honoring Henry by helping those in need.
As Jimmy looked up with a smile, Nancy felt warmth and gratitude in her heart. She had found a new way to carry Henry’s memory forward, and it filled her soul with peace.
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How to Own Your Dream Home
For most people, their first home isn’t their dream home. It starts off nice enough. But as time goes by and your family grows, starter homes tend to get a little . . . cramped.
But don’t hate on your current home too much. Because while it gave you a safe and dry place to lay your head at night, it was also setting you up to own your dream home someday.
We’ll show you how it all works and walk you through the steps that’ll get you in your dream home—one you can actually afford!
How to Get Your Dream Home in 5 Steps
Here are the steps:
- Follow the Financial Basics
- Find Out How Much Equity You Have
- Set Your New Home-Buying Budget
- Find the Right Dream Home for You
- Be Picky and Patient
Now let’s cover each step in more detail.
Step 1: Follow the Financial Basics
First thing’s first—you have to get out of debt, get on a budget, and build up an emergency fund of 3–6 months of expenses. Sounds pretty basic, right? If you haven’t completed these steps, then you’re not ready to upgrade to your dream home . . . yet.
Now, when you’ve got house fever, it can be hard to focus on paying off debt or saving an emergency fund before you upgrade your home—especially when you’re feeling the pressure of rising home prices and interest rates.
But whether it’s your second or third house, you should only buy a home when you’ve covered the financial basics we mentioned above. Then you’ll be ready to start the journey toward owning your dream house.
And that journey starts with your home equity. What’s equity? Well, we’re glad you asked . . . that brings us to the next step.
Step 2: Find Out How Much Equity You Have
Home equity is a pretty simple concept: It’s your current home’s value minus whatever you still owe on your mortgage.
See, in most cases, your home’s value increases over time. Similar to other long-term investments (like retirement accounts), homes gradually increase in value. There have been periods of ups and downs in the market to be sure, but the value of real estate has consistently gone up. According to the St. Louis Federal Reserve, the average sale price of a home has increased over 2,300% from 1965 to 2023! And in the last ten years (2013 to 2023), there’s been a 68% increase.1 As your home increases in value, so does your equity. In real estate terms, this is called appreciation.
Other factors that increase your home’s equity include:
- Added value: Home improvement projects like adding square footage, updating fixtures and appliances, or even just slapping on a new coat of paint can add value to your home.
- Mortgage paydown: Paying down your mortgage not only gets you out of debt faster, it also builds your equity. The less you owe on your home, the more equity you have.
The amount of equity you have gives you a pretty good idea of how much money you’ll end up with after selling your house. You can use that money to make a hefty down payment and cover the other costs that come with buying a home.
Find expert agents to help you buy your home.
So, how do you determine your home’s value? Well, you can get a ballpark estimate on real estate websites like Zillow, ask a trusted real estate agent to perform a competitive market analysis (which they’ll do anyway if they’re helping you sell your house), or get a professional appraisal.
Finding out your home’s equity will involve a little math, but it’s third-grade-level stuff, so don’t sweat it.
Here’s what we mean. Let’s say your home’s current value is $355,000. When you sell that house, you’ll have to pay for between 1–3% of the sale price in closing costs, another 6% in fees for the real estate agent who helped you sell it, and whatever’s left to pay off on your mortgage.
That means you can estimate clearing over $223,000 from selling your house. That’s a killer down payment on your dream home! And if your home is paid off, that’s even more money to put down and use to pay for things like repairs and moving expenses.
Step 3: Set Your Dream Home Budget
Once you know how much you’ll clear from the sale of your home, you can start making a budget for your dream home.
The key to owning your dream home (instead of it owning you) is to keep your mortgage payment to no more than 25% of your take-home pay on a 15-year fixed-rate mortgage, along with paying a down payment of at least 20% to avoid private mortgage insurance (PMI). Never get a 30-year mortgage even if the bank offers it (and they will). You’d pay a fortune in interest—money that should go toward building your wealth, not the bank’s.
So, let’s say your take-home pay is $4,800 a month. That means your monthly mortgage payment shouldn’t be any bigger than $1,200. By the way, that 25% figure should also include other home fees collected every month with the mortgage payment like homeowners association (HOA) fees, insurance premiums and property taxes.
Plug your numbers into our mortgage calculator to see how much house you can afford.
And don’t forget to budget for all those other costs that come with the home-buying process in addition to your closing fees—things like moving expenses and any upgrades or repairs you might need to make. You don’t want these hidden costs to catch you off guard or drain your emergency fund.
Step 4: Find the Right Dream Home for You
This is where things get real. After all your hard work building up your equity (and doing a lot of math—don’t forget that), you’re finally ready to start the house hunt. Woo-hoo!
But don’t lose focus. Stay zoned in by making a list of features that make a home fit your budget, lifestyle and dreams—and stick to it throughout your house hunt. Here are a few ideas to get you started.
- Don’t compromise on location and layout. If you plan to be in this home for the long haul, an out-of-the-way neighborhood or a wacky floor plan is a deal breaker. Look for a community and layout that’ll suit your lifestyle now and for years to come.
- Think about how much space your family needs. While your budget has the final say about how much home you buy, you’ll want your dream home to fit your family’s needs through different life seasons.
- Consider the school districts. If you have or want kids, the quality of the nearby school districts is probably already on your mind. But even if you don’t have kids or you’re retired, keep in mind that having good schools nearby could increase your home’s value.
- Look for a house that’ll grow in value. Are home values rising in the area? Is the number of businesses going up? These factors can help you figure out whether your dream home will turn into a good investment.
- Count the costs. Want that fancy master bathroom with the multiple showerheads and the Jacuzzi tub? Be clear on what’s a must-have and what’s nice to have. And don’t forget, upgraded features like that will make your dream home more expensive.
Step 5: Be Picky and Patient
We know you’re anxious to get into those new digs, but be patient. Wait for the right house at the right time. Don’t spend your money on a less-than-ideal home just because you’re tired of looking.
The key is finding a good real estate agent who understands your budget and refuses to settle for “good enough.” They’re as committed to your dream as you are and will have your back throughout the entire process, no matter what it takes.
In addition to teaming up with a great real estate agent, you can take a couple of extra steps to make sure you’re ready to strike as soon as the right home comes up:
- Get preapproved for a 15-year fixed-rate mortgage. Having preapproved financing is a green flag for sellers—especially in multiple offer situations. And because this puts most of your information in the lender’s system, you’ll be on the fast track to closing once your offer is accepted.
- Offer earnest money with your bid. Earnest money is a deposit to show you’re truly interested in a home. Usually it’s 1–2% of the home’s purchase price and it’s applied to your down payment or closing costs. Even if the deal falls through, you can almost always get most of it back.
Find a Real Estate Expert in Your Local Market
Now, you might be thinking you have some work to do before you’re ready to find your dream home. Or you may be realizing your years of hard work are about to pay off! Regardless, if you follow these steps, you’ll find the house you’ve always wanted and avoid a purchase you’ll regret.
Once you’re ready, connect with one of our RamseyTrusted real estate agents. These are high-performing agents who do business the Ramsey way and share your values so you can rest easy knowing the search for your dream home is in the right hands.
Find the only real estate agents in your area we trust, and start the hunt for your dream home!
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