Marriage has its ups and downs, but there’s always space for laughter. The daily moments between husbands and wives can be heartwarming and funny, as shown in these jokes.
From surprising notes to clever replies, these seven jokes showcase the playful side of marriage. Whether you’re married or just enjoy a good laugh, these stories will make you nod in agreement and chuckle at their unexpected turns.
1 The Note Under the Bed
In any marriage, there can be moments of frustration, especially when one spouse feels unappreciated. This joke takes that idea to the extreme when a wife tries to teach her husband a lesson with a note, only to be shocked by his reaction.
A woman, upset that her husband was late coming home again, left a note saying, “I’ve had enough and left you. Don’t bother looking for me.” She then hid under the bed to see how he would react.
After a short time, the husband came home. She could hear him in the kitchen and saw him go to the dresser to pick up the note. After a few minutes, he wrote something on it and called someone.
“She’s finally gone… Yes, I know, about time, right? I’m coming to see you. Put on that sexy nightie. I love you… Can’t wait to see you… We’ll do all the fun things you like.”
He hung up, grabbed his keys, and left. When she came out from under the bed, furious and in tears, she grabbed the note to see what he wrote…
“I can see your feet. We’re out of bread. Be back in five minutes.”
2 The Pharmacist’s Explanation
Sometimes, simple misunderstandings can blow up, leading to confrontations. This joke humorously shows how quickly a situation can escalate when assumptions are made, only for the truth to make everyone laugh.
When a husband came home, he found his wife crying. She said, “The pharmacist insulted me on the phone this morning!”
Angry, the husband drove to the pharmacy to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology. But before he could speak, the pharmacist said, “Wait, let me explain. This morning, my alarm didn’t go off, and I woke up late.”
“I skipped breakfast and rushed to the car, only to realize I locked my house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Then I drove too fast and got a speeding ticket. While driving to work, I had a flat tire. By the time I opened the pharmacy, there was already a line. And the phone wouldn’t stop ringing.”
He added, “I had to break a roll of coins to make change, but they spilled everywhere. When I stood up, I hit my head on the cash drawer, and all the perfume bottles fell and broke. Then the phone rang, and it was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer, and all I did was tell her.”
3 The Family Secret
Family secrets can be surprising and funny. In this joke, a young man is excited about his upcoming marriage until his father reveals some shocking news, leading to a hilarious twist.
One Sunday morning, George rushed into the living room and shouted, “Dad! Mom! I have great news! I’m marrying the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away, and her name is Susan.”
Later, George’s dad pulled him aside and said, “Son, we need to talk. Look at your mom. We’ve been married for 30 years. She’s a great wife and mom, but she’s not very exciting. I used to cheat on her, and Susan is your half-sister, so you can’t marry her.”
George was heartbroken. After eight months, he started dating again. A year later, he proudly said, “Diane said yes! We’re getting married in June.”
Again, his father pulled him aside to share more bad news. “Diane is your half-sister too, George. I’m sorry.”
George was furious! He went to his mother with what his father said. “Dad is ruining my life. I guess I’ll never get married. Every time I like a girl, Dad says she’s my half-sister.”
His mother laughed and said, “Don’t listen to him. He’s not really your father.”
4 The Fried Eggs Incident
Everyday tasks like cooking breakfast can lead to funny arguments between spouses. This joke turns a simple breakfast into a humorous look at how we all sometimes feel the need to give advice, especially when the roles are reversed.
A wife was making fried eggs for breakfast when her husband burst into the kitchen.
“Careful!” he said. “Put in more butter! You’re cooking too many at once! Turn them! We need more butter! Oh no, they’re going to stick! Be careful! You never listen to me when you cook! Hurry! Don’t forget to salt them!”
The wife stared at him. “What’s wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry eggs?”
The husband calmly replied, “Sure you do. I just wanted to show you how it feels when I’m driving.”
5 The Supermarket Strategy
Shopping in a busy supermarket can be stressful, especially if you lose track of your spouse. This joke shows how resourceful one husband can be when looking for his wife, with a touch of humor.
In a supermarket, Ivan lost sight of his wife. He approached a young lady and asked, “Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”
“Why?” asked the lady, confused by Ivan’s request.
“It’s always the same. As soon as I start talking to a pretty woman, my wife pops up out of nowhere.”
The Flu Revelation
Being stuck at home with the flu is never fun, but this joke shows how a man’s sickness revealed his wife’s true feelings in a surprising and funny way. Sometimes love can be found in unexpected situations.
A man visited a friend who had been sick with the flu for weeks.
“How was it?” the man asked.
“Surprisingly wonderful,” the friend replied.
“How so?” the man asked.
“Well, I found out how much my wife loves me and how happy she is to have me home.”
“How do you know?”
“Every time the postman, the milkman, or the trash collector comes by, she runs out shouting, ‘My husband is home! My husband is home!’”
The Late-Night Approach
Sometimes sneaking in late after a night out doesn’t go as planned. In this joke, two husbands compare how they deal with their wives when they come home late, revealing that a more direct approach can be the best way.
Two married friends were out drinking when one said, “I don’t know what to do. When I come home after drinking, I turn off the headlights before I get to the driveway. I coast into the garage, take off my shoes before entering the house, sneak upstairs, change in the bathroom, and slip into bed, and my wife still wakes up and yells at me for staying out too late!”
His friend replied, “You’re doing it wrong. I drive into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, flush the toilet loudly, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, and jump into bed saying, ‘Do you want to make love?’ And every time, she acts like she’s sound asleep!”
Police Officer Demanded I Open the Trunk after My Dad’s Funeral – I Was Shocked to Know Why
I was still reeling from Dad’s funeral. Each of us had received something special from him. My sister got one of his rings, my brother got his collection of vintage vinyl, and I got his classic Mustang. Dad and I had worked on that car together for years. But the car had more to it than I first thought.
After the funeral, I drove home in the Mustang. The familiar rumble of the engine was comforting, a reminder of all the hours Dad and I had spent working on it. As I turned onto my street, I noticed a cop car following me. He didn’t have his lights on, so I kept driving, assuming it was just a coincidence. But as I pulled into my driveway, the cop car did too. My heart started to race. What could this be about?
A classic mustang | Source: Pexels
I parked the car and was about to get out when the officer rushed up to me.
“Stay in your vehicle!” he shouted, his hand resting on his holster.
“What’s going on?” I asked, my hand frozen on the door handle. My mind raced with possibilities, but none of them made any sense.
A policeman in his car | Source: Pexels
“Open your trunk now!” he demanded, his tone leaving no room for argument.
I blinked, confused. “Why? What’s happening?”
“Just do it!” he barked, his eyes hard and unyielding.
A policeman in his car | Source: Pexels
With trembling hands, I reached for the trunk release lever. The trunk popped open with a click, and the officer pushed past me, heading straight for the back of the car. He lifted the bottom lining of the trunk and started rummaging around. His back was to me, so I couldn’t see what he was doing.
“You thought you could get away with this!” he said, his voice dripping with accusation.
“What are you talking about?” I stammered, my mind racing with fear and confusion.
“I’m not talking to you!”
A cop barking order | Source: Pexels
He walked directly to the car, lifted the divider at the bottom of the trunk, and pulled something out. The officer’s body blocked my view and I couldn’t see what he was holding. I felt cold sweat trickle down my spine. What could possibly be in my trunk?
I leaned out of the window, trying to get a better look. “Officer, I don’t understand. Can you please tell me what’s going on?”
A man opening a trunk | Source: Pexels
Still ignoring me, the officer took a step back, revealing what he had found. In his hand was a small, black box. It looked old and worn, with a faint symbol on the top that I didn’t recognize.
“What is that?” I asked, my voice shaking.
The officer finally looked at me, his expression a mix of anger and something else—maybe disbelief? “You really don’t know, do you?”
An old box | Source: Pexels
I shook my head, completely lost. “No, I have no idea. I’ve never seen that before.”
The officer narrowed his eyes. “You expect me to believe that?”
“It’s the truth!” I insisted, my voice rising in panic. “I just got this car from my dad. He left it to me after he passed away. I don’t know anything about a stolen item.”
A stern-looking policeman | Source: Pexels
The officer studied me for a moment, then seemed to soften slightly. “You said this car was your dad’s?”
“Yes,” I said, nodding vigorously. “He and I worked on it together for years. I only drove it home today after the funeral.”
He glanced down at the box in his hand, then back at me. “And you really have no idea who I am?”
Astern cop | Source: Pexels
“Look, Officer, if there’s anything I can help you with, I will. But I swear I have no idea what’s going on.”
The cop’s face softened and I saw him opening the box. Suddenly, I realized he had started to cry.
“What happened? What’s going on?” I asked, my voice filled with concern.
A policeman talking to a man | Source: Pexels
He looked up at me, tears streaming down his face. “I was at your dad’s funeral. I’m sorry about him, by the way. We grew up together, studied, and worked as partners for some time. Then, he moved away.”
At that moment, I remembered seeing him at the funeral, holding a letter in his hand.
A man crying | Source: Pexels
“A lawyer came to me and handed me this letter,” he said, taking it out of his pocket. “Your dad wrote that I was the one who helped him overcome his mom’s death when he was a kid.”
A letter | Source: Pexels
He handed me the letter, and I began to read:
Jonathan,
I know we haven’t seen each other in a while, life is strange that way. Those closest to you can be the ones you see the least just because you’re each on your own path.
Still, I’ve missed you a lot old friend. I’ll never forget all the support you showed me when my mom passed away. You know, I felt ostracized back then. I was the kid without a mom. But you never let me be alone, and for that I’ll always be grateful.
I kept all the toys you gave me. Even the sweets, I’m a little embarrassed to say. I could never get myself to eat them, they meant too much to me.
I know I’ll be passing away soon, I just couldn’t beat the cancer, but I wanted you to have the box with the toys. It’s in my old Mustang that I’m leaving to Bill, my oldest.
If he doesn’t bring it to you, he must not have found it yet. Show him this letter.
It’s hidden in the trunk for safekeeping.
All the best.
Your pal,
Man reading a letter | Source: Pexels
Jonathan showed me the box filled with toys, sports cards, letters, and old candies. I could see the history and love in each item.
“When his mom died, he became so quiet and sad,” Jonathan said, his voice soft and reflective. “I wanted him to get better, I wanted my friend back. So, I gave him my favorite toys. We played with them — cars, even candies, which, as you see, he never tasted. He just enjoyed having them.”
A man crying | Source: Pexels
I felt a lump in my throat and tears welling up in my eyes. The box, the letter, the memories — it was all so overwhelming. “He never told us about this,” I said, my voice cracking. “I had no idea.”
Jonathan nodded. “Arnie was always a private person. But he valued our friendship more than anything. He wanted you to know about it, to understand the bond we had.”
Two boys playing together | Source: Pexels
I started crying too, the emotions too strong to hold back. I handed the box to Jonathan, feeling a deep connection to this man who had been such a big part of my dad’s life. “Thank you for being there for him,” I said through my tears. “And thank you for sharing this with me.”
Jonathan smiled, his own tears still flowing. “It was an honor to be his friend. And now, I hope we can be friends too. Your dad meant the world to me, and I see so much of him in you.”
Two boys playing | Source: Pexels
Over time, Jonathan became a close family friend. I got to know his kids and family, and in many ways, he partially replaced my dad too. We spent holidays together, shared stories, and kept my dad’s memory alive.
Jonathan often visited, bringing with him stories of his and Dad’s adventures, filling the void Dad’s passing had left. His kids became like siblings to me, and his family embraced me as one of their own. It felt like I had gained a whole new family.
Two men hugging | Source: Pexels
One day, Jonathan and I sat in my dad’s old Mustang, the box of toys between us. “Your dad would be proud of you, Bill,” he said, patting my shoulder. “He always talked about how much he loved you.”
I smiled, feeling a warmth in my heart. “Thanks, Jonathan. And thank you for everything. You’ve given me a piece of my dad that I didn’t even know was missing.”
Two men hugging | Source: Pexels
As we sat there, surrounded by memories and the legacy of my dad’s love and friendship, I realized that even in death, he had brought us together. And in that, there was a kind of peace.
Here’s another story about a man who left his son-in-law a surprising inheritance.
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