Marriage has its ups and downs, but there’s always space for laughter. The daily moments between husbands and wives can be heartwarming and funny, as shown in these jokes.
From surprising notes to clever replies, these seven jokes showcase the playful side of marriage. Whether you’re married or just enjoy a good laugh, these stories will make you nod in agreement and chuckle at their unexpected turns.
1 The Note Under the Bed
In any marriage, there can be moments of frustration, especially when one spouse feels unappreciated. This joke takes that idea to the extreme when a wife tries to teach her husband a lesson with a note, only to be shocked by his reaction.
A woman, upset that her husband was late coming home again, left a note saying, “I’ve had enough and left you. Don’t bother looking for me.” She then hid under the bed to see how he would react.
After a short time, the husband came home. She could hear him in the kitchen and saw him go to the dresser to pick up the note. After a few minutes, he wrote something on it and called someone.
“She’s finally gone… Yes, I know, about time, right? I’m coming to see you. Put on that sexy nightie. I love you… Can’t wait to see you… We’ll do all the fun things you like.”
He hung up, grabbed his keys, and left. When she came out from under the bed, furious and in tears, she grabbed the note to see what he wrote…
“I can see your feet. We’re out of bread. Be back in five minutes.”
2 The Pharmacist’s Explanation
Sometimes, simple misunderstandings can blow up, leading to confrontations. This joke humorously shows how quickly a situation can escalate when assumptions are made, only for the truth to make everyone laugh.
When a husband came home, he found his wife crying. She said, “The pharmacist insulted me on the phone this morning!”
Angry, the husband drove to the pharmacy to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology. But before he could speak, the pharmacist said, “Wait, let me explain. This morning, my alarm didn’t go off, and I woke up late.”
“I skipped breakfast and rushed to the car, only to realize I locked my house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Then I drove too fast and got a speeding ticket. While driving to work, I had a flat tire. By the time I opened the pharmacy, there was already a line. And the phone wouldn’t stop ringing.”
He added, “I had to break a roll of coins to make change, but they spilled everywhere. When I stood up, I hit my head on the cash drawer, and all the perfume bottles fell and broke. Then the phone rang, and it was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer, and all I did was tell her.”
3 The Family Secret
Family secrets can be surprising and funny. In this joke, a young man is excited about his upcoming marriage until his father reveals some shocking news, leading to a hilarious twist.
One Sunday morning, George rushed into the living room and shouted, “Dad! Mom! I have great news! I’m marrying the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away, and her name is Susan.”
Later, George’s dad pulled him aside and said, “Son, we need to talk. Look at your mom. We’ve been married for 30 years. She’s a great wife and mom, but she’s not very exciting. I used to cheat on her, and Susan is your half-sister, so you can’t marry her.”
George was heartbroken. After eight months, he started dating again. A year later, he proudly said, “Diane said yes! We’re getting married in June.”
Again, his father pulled him aside to share more bad news. “Diane is your half-sister too, George. I’m sorry.”
George was furious! He went to his mother with what his father said. “Dad is ruining my life. I guess I’ll never get married. Every time I like a girl, Dad says she’s my half-sister.”
His mother laughed and said, “Don’t listen to him. He’s not really your father.”
4 The Fried Eggs Incident
Everyday tasks like cooking breakfast can lead to funny arguments between spouses. This joke turns a simple breakfast into a humorous look at how we all sometimes feel the need to give advice, especially when the roles are reversed.
A wife was making fried eggs for breakfast when her husband burst into the kitchen.
“Careful!” he said. “Put in more butter! You’re cooking too many at once! Turn them! We need more butter! Oh no, they’re going to stick! Be careful! You never listen to me when you cook! Hurry! Don’t forget to salt them!”
The wife stared at him. “What’s wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry eggs?”
The husband calmly replied, “Sure you do. I just wanted to show you how it feels when I’m driving.”
5 The Supermarket Strategy
Shopping in a busy supermarket can be stressful, especially if you lose track of your spouse. This joke shows how resourceful one husband can be when looking for his wife, with a touch of humor.
In a supermarket, Ivan lost sight of his wife. He approached a young lady and asked, “Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”
“Why?” asked the lady, confused by Ivan’s request.
“It’s always the same. As soon as I start talking to a pretty woman, my wife pops up out of nowhere.”
The Flu Revelation
Being stuck at home with the flu is never fun, but this joke shows how a man’s sickness revealed his wife’s true feelings in a surprising and funny way. Sometimes love can be found in unexpected situations.
A man visited a friend who had been sick with the flu for weeks.
“How was it?” the man asked.
“Surprisingly wonderful,” the friend replied.
“How so?” the man asked.
“Well, I found out how much my wife loves me and how happy she is to have me home.”
“How do you know?”
“Every time the postman, the milkman, or the trash collector comes by, she runs out shouting, ‘My husband is home! My husband is home!’”
The Late-Night Approach
Sometimes sneaking in late after a night out doesn’t go as planned. In this joke, two husbands compare how they deal with their wives when they come home late, revealing that a more direct approach can be the best way.
Two married friends were out drinking when one said, “I don’t know what to do. When I come home after drinking, I turn off the headlights before I get to the driveway. I coast into the garage, take off my shoes before entering the house, sneak upstairs, change in the bathroom, and slip into bed, and my wife still wakes up and yells at me for staying out too late!”
His friend replied, “You’re doing it wrong. I drive into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, flush the toilet loudly, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, and jump into bed saying, ‘Do you want to make love?’ And every time, she acts like she’s sound asleep!”
‘I Always Describe It as This Angel That Fell Out of the Sky’: All about Mariska Hargitay’s 3 Children
Mariska Hargitay’s journey to motherhood is truly inspiring. Known for her iconic role on “Law & Order: SVU,” her real-life story revolves around love, resilience, and the joy of raising three children. The actress’s path to building a family is filled with unexpected blessings and deep gratitude.
Mariska Hargitay’s journey into motherhood began in her early 40s when she gave birth to her first child. Despite the challenges of being a first-time mother later in life, she wholeheartedly and joyfully embraced motherhood.
Her family grew when she and her husband, actor Peter Hermann, welcomed two more children within a year. Each child brought unique blessings into their lives, and Mariska cherishes the unexpected path that led her to become a mother of three.
Long before becoming a mother, Mariska always envisioned having her own family. From a young age, she knew motherhood was part of her life plans, a desire deeply rooted in her own upbringing.
A Childhood of Glitz and Heartbreak: The Early Life of Mariska Hargitay
Mariska is an actress, who added producing and directing to her list of talents. She was born to the glamorous actress Jayne Mansfield and the former Mr. Universe Mickey Hargitay on January 23, 1964.
Being born into Hollywood royalty, Mariska’s early life was surrounded by fame and glitz. This set a unique backdrop for her childhood. However, her early years were also marked by tragedy.
When Mariska was just three years old, her mother died in a car accident on June 29, 1967. This loss left a lasting scar on the actress, both physically and emotionally.
The actress expressed, “I clearly was in that frozen place for a lot of my childhood—of trying to survive, actually trying to survive. My life has been a process of unpeeling the layers and trust and trusting again.”
Despite this tragic beginning, Mariska’s parents’ legacy played a significant role in shaping her character. Her father, Mickey, raised her with discipline and love, teaching her the importance of hard work and resilience.
He ensured she had a normal upbringing. Mariska joined the swim team, ran cross-country, played volleyball, and by 1982, she was crowned Miss Beverly Hills. Despite her accomplishments, she was always aware of the darker side of life.
The actress later explained that she learned about crisis early and realized that life offers no guarantees, but we must keep moving forward and transform our experiences.
She considers this ability to be her superpower and sees it as a gift from experiencing trauma early in life. Despite these challenges, Mariska went on to live a full and fulfilling life.
Embracing Motherhood: Mariska’s Journey from Daughter to Mom
For Mariska, 2004 marked the beginning of a new phase in her life. That year, she married Peter, and on June 28, 2006, the actress welcomed her first child, August Miklos Friedrich Hermann, at 42.
Starting this journey into motherhood was easy for Mariska as she knew from a young age that she was meant for it. Despite losing her mother, she never lacked a maternal figure in her life. The actress was raised by her father’s third wife, Ellen Siano Hargitay, who never made her feel like an outsider.
Mariska reminisced, “I called her Mom. She really claimed us. She never had biological kids of her own, and to this day we are her kids. So we were blessed that she really embraced us and loved us so quickly. And I was very fortunate to have a maternal figure in my life after such a horrific accident.”
Additionally, while Ellen’s motherly act prepared Mariska for being a mom, it also stirred in her the desire to have children by other means. The actress had grown up realizing that being a mother did not have to be biological.
A Dream Fulfilled: The Adoption of Amaya Josephine
After a few years of becoming parents, Mariska and Peter, who came from big families, decided it was time to expand theirs. They were also not the only ones clamoring for more kids around the house. Their son August also wanted siblings.
However, the actress was over 40, and at her age at the time, pregnancies were never easy. Knowing she and her husband had so much love to give, Mariska was hopeful. She said, “I was really letting the chips fall as they might, because I do think so much is up to God.”
Mariska didn’t know how she was going to have more children, but she knew it was something that would happen. The actress remarked, “I always said, ‘I don’t know how this is going to end up. I don’t know if I’m going to get pregnant and have twins.’”
Despite having no clue, there was something she was sure of, and that was adoption. She recalled not knowing if someone would leave a baby on her doorstep. Nevertheless, she said, “But I really did think that down the line, Peter and I would adopt a child. That was always part of the plan.”
In early April 2011, Mariska and Peter’s plan came to fruition as they welcomed their second child, Amaya Josephine Hermann. Their daughter had been born in the United States about a week before her adoption.
As soon as the couple decided to adopt, they did not limit themselves as they considered international and domestic adoption. Mariska revealed they had talked about the idea of mixed-race adoptions, and were excited to become a multi-racial family.
The actress’s excitement began even before Amaya joined the family. Mariska had revealed, “I’m deliriously happy. From the minute she was born, she was just surprisingly alert and so full of love.”
The second time Mother was not alone in her excitement. August, who was less than five at the time, was also happy to have a baby sister. His Mom disclosed, “He is over the moon. He calls her his baby because he says the whole thing was his idea. He always talks about how he’s going to protect her. He’s going to be a great big brother.”
A Brother’s Dream: The Joyous Arrival of Andrew Nicolas
August, who prided himself as a big brother, was very hands-on in his sister’s life. He reportedly even participated in picking out her name. However, seeing as he thought it was his idea for her to join the family, he wanted yet another sibling.
Six months after Amaya came home as a newborn, August’s wish was fulfilled as he welcomed his baby brother, Andrew Nicolas Hermann, in October 2011. This time, Andrew was not a newborn, as he had been born in the summer of that year.
Mariska noted, “August thinks this was all his idea! He said, ‘I want a baby sister,’ and Amaya came. Then he said, ‘I want a baby brother,’ and Andrew came. August is feeling pretty good and pretty powerful!”
While August Miklos Friedrich Hermann felt powerful, Mariska was feeling a range of positive emotions. She said, “We adopted Amaya, and Andrew, I always describe it as this angel that fell out of the sky, because he was a little unexpected. [sic]”
Andrew Nicolas, Peter Hermann, and Mariska Hargitay at the ceremony honoring Mariska Hargitay with a Star on The Hollywood Walk of Fame on November 8, 2013, in Hollywood. | Source: Getty Images
The adoption of Andrew was not something Peter and Mariska had planned for at the time it happened. The couple had initially planned to adopt another baby a year or more after Amaya joined their household.
However, things happened differently. The actress revealed that their lawyer suddenly called them to inform them about Andrew. Their lawyer noted that it was an amazing opportunity, and the couple, in that moment, had never been more sure about having him in their lives.
The swiftness and timing of Andrew joining their family makes the actress believe her son “fell out of the sky.” Nevertheless, Mariska knows that it’s not an easy journey.
She once remarked, “I’m not gonna lie, there were wrenching moments. I say to everybody, ‘Adoption is not for the faint of heart.’” But, on some days, the actress feels like she’s living in a dream world. She said, “I just sit and pinch myself.”
Mariska Hargitay with Amaya, Andrew, and August at The Children’s Museum Of The East End 5th Annual Family Fair on July 20, 2013, in Bridgehampton, New York. | Source: Getty Images
Family and Fulfillment: Mariska Hargitay on Life as a Mother of Three
At 47, Mariska, who initially didn’t think it was possible to love more than one kid, had become a mom of three. She said, “You know you have one kid, and then you think, oh my gosh, I’ll never love another kid, and then the second one comes, and you can’t believe that you love them, and then the third one fell out of sky.”
Becoming a mother did not only teach Mariska about her capacity to love, it did more. She noted, “Becoming a parent erased many of my negative childhood feelings and filled them in with something new,” some of which include trying out new cultures when it comes to their cuisines.
The actress is not the only one to have spoken to the media about their family of five. Peter Hermann’s love for his family is always evident even though gets private about their kids. However, he expressed his thoughts on the unconventional manner in which their family grew.
The actor divulged, “It’s funny, I always get so private about our kids, but I think that the easiest way or the easiest answer is we just wanted a bigger family and we feel incredibly blessed.”
In 2018, Mariska also opened up about her life with the kids as she graced the cover of People’s magazine. She said, “The thing that’s made me a better parent is my kids. Because they taught me to really listen. My husband is my North Star, and my kids are my teachers.”
Not only did they make her a better parent, they also gave her something perfect in life. The actress revealed, “Our family is so perfect, or at least perfect for me. Together we’re just this whole, happy, joyful, chaotic, crazy unit. I’ve never known anything that was more right.”
Despite having a crazy and chaotic unit, Mariska and Peter work together to get the results they desire. Even though they have different parenting styles, the couple complement each other, with the actress revealing that her husband knows everything she doesn’t know.
Shortly before turning 60 in 2024, Mariska reflected on her life’s journey, career, motherhood, and more. The actress had countless reasons to be thankful.
Peter Hermann and Mariska Hargitay with their children, August, Andrew, and Amaya at the 2023 Stuttering Association For The Young (SAY) Benefit Gala on May 22, 2023, in New York City. | Source: Getty Images
One of the things Mariska was thankful for was the timing when she started her family. She said, “I’m so grateful that I’m an older mom. Grateful that I became successful older. I don’t know if I could have handled it when I was younger.”
The actress then compared what she was like in her younger days. She remembered that in her younger years, she struggled to be present, but as she got older, she learned to accept and appreciate life more deeply.
She noted, “And now I’m going to savor this moment. I want to share my lessons and where there is pain that I can fix that really inspires me to lighten the load.”
Mariska’s journey shows her strength and love. Starting her family in her early 40s, she faced the challenges and joys of raising three children with Peter. Their story is full of unexpected blessings and deep gratitude. As she cherishes her family, Mariska inspires us to embrace life’s surprises and the power of love at any age.
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