Marriage has its ups and downs, but there’s always space for laughter. The daily moments between husbands and wives can be heartwarming and funny, as shown in these jokes.
From surprising notes to clever replies, these seven jokes showcase the playful side of marriage. Whether you’re married or just enjoy a good laugh, these stories will make you nod in agreement and chuckle at their unexpected turns.
1 The Note Under the Bed
In any marriage, there can be moments of frustration, especially when one spouse feels unappreciated. This joke takes that idea to the extreme when a wife tries to teach her husband a lesson with a note, only to be shocked by his reaction.
A woman, upset that her husband was late coming home again, left a note saying, “I’ve had enough and left you. Don’t bother looking for me.” She then hid under the bed to see how he would react.
After a short time, the husband came home. She could hear him in the kitchen and saw him go to the dresser to pick up the note. After a few minutes, he wrote something on it and called someone.
“She’s finally gone… Yes, I know, about time, right? I’m coming to see you. Put on that sexy nightie. I love you… Can’t wait to see you… We’ll do all the fun things you like.”
He hung up, grabbed his keys, and left. When she came out from under the bed, furious and in tears, she grabbed the note to see what he wrote…
“I can see your feet. We’re out of bread. Be back in five minutes.”
2 The Pharmacist’s Explanation
Sometimes, simple misunderstandings can blow up, leading to confrontations. This joke humorously shows how quickly a situation can escalate when assumptions are made, only for the truth to make everyone laugh.
When a husband came home, he found his wife crying. She said, “The pharmacist insulted me on the phone this morning!”
Angry, the husband drove to the pharmacy to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology. But before he could speak, the pharmacist said, “Wait, let me explain. This morning, my alarm didn’t go off, and I woke up late.”
“I skipped breakfast and rushed to the car, only to realize I locked my house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Then I drove too fast and got a speeding ticket. While driving to work, I had a flat tire. By the time I opened the pharmacy, there was already a line. And the phone wouldn’t stop ringing.”
He added, “I had to break a roll of coins to make change, but they spilled everywhere. When I stood up, I hit my head on the cash drawer, and all the perfume bottles fell and broke. Then the phone rang, and it was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer, and all I did was tell her.”
3 The Family Secret
Family secrets can be surprising and funny. In this joke, a young man is excited about his upcoming marriage until his father reveals some shocking news, leading to a hilarious twist.
One Sunday morning, George rushed into the living room and shouted, “Dad! Mom! I have great news! I’m marrying the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away, and her name is Susan.”
Later, George’s dad pulled him aside and said, “Son, we need to talk. Look at your mom. We’ve been married for 30 years. She’s a great wife and mom, but she’s not very exciting. I used to cheat on her, and Susan is your half-sister, so you can’t marry her.”
George was heartbroken. After eight months, he started dating again. A year later, he proudly said, “Diane said yes! We’re getting married in June.”
Again, his father pulled him aside to share more bad news. “Diane is your half-sister too, George. I’m sorry.”
George was furious! He went to his mother with what his father said. “Dad is ruining my life. I guess I’ll never get married. Every time I like a girl, Dad says she’s my half-sister.”
His mother laughed and said, “Don’t listen to him. He’s not really your father.”
4 The Fried Eggs Incident
Everyday tasks like cooking breakfast can lead to funny arguments between spouses. This joke turns a simple breakfast into a humorous look at how we all sometimes feel the need to give advice, especially when the roles are reversed.
A wife was making fried eggs for breakfast when her husband burst into the kitchen.
“Careful!” he said. “Put in more butter! You’re cooking too many at once! Turn them! We need more butter! Oh no, they’re going to stick! Be careful! You never listen to me when you cook! Hurry! Don’t forget to salt them!”
The wife stared at him. “What’s wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry eggs?”
The husband calmly replied, “Sure you do. I just wanted to show you how it feels when I’m driving.”
5 The Supermarket Strategy
Shopping in a busy supermarket can be stressful, especially if you lose track of your spouse. This joke shows how resourceful one husband can be when looking for his wife, with a touch of humor.
In a supermarket, Ivan lost sight of his wife. He approached a young lady and asked, “Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”
“Why?” asked the lady, confused by Ivan’s request.
“It’s always the same. As soon as I start talking to a pretty woman, my wife pops up out of nowhere.”
The Flu Revelation
Being stuck at home with the flu is never fun, but this joke shows how a man’s sickness revealed his wife’s true feelings in a surprising and funny way. Sometimes love can be found in unexpected situations.
A man visited a friend who had been sick with the flu for weeks.
“How was it?” the man asked.
“Surprisingly wonderful,” the friend replied.
“How so?” the man asked.
“Well, I found out how much my wife loves me and how happy she is to have me home.”
“How do you know?”
“Every time the postman, the milkman, or the trash collector comes by, she runs out shouting, ‘My husband is home! My husband is home!’”
The Late-Night Approach
Sometimes sneaking in late after a night out doesn’t go as planned. In this joke, two husbands compare how they deal with their wives when they come home late, revealing that a more direct approach can be the best way.
Two married friends were out drinking when one said, “I don’t know what to do. When I come home after drinking, I turn off the headlights before I get to the driveway. I coast into the garage, take off my shoes before entering the house, sneak upstairs, change in the bathroom, and slip into bed, and my wife still wakes up and yells at me for staying out too late!”
His friend replied, “You’re doing it wrong. I drive into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, flush the toilet loudly, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, and jump into bed saying, ‘Do you want to make love?’ And every time, she acts like she’s sound asleep!”
Why Aishwarya Rai Decided to Put Her Career on Hold and Proved She’s More Than Just a Pretty Face
Aishwarya Rai turns 50 in 2023. The popular Indian actress who worked her way into Hollywood suddenly faced the harshest criticism when she became a mother. Yet she bravely overcame adversity and stayed true to herself. We are sure her story will inspire many women.
Aishwarya began modeling while still in college, and in 1994, she won the title of Miss World. Surely, filmmakers immediately noticed this charismatic beauty. The woman quickly became a movie star in India, and then in the Western part of the world too. The media even called Rai “the most beautiful woman in the world.”
1994. Aishwarya is 21 years old.
In 2006, the woman played opposite a popular Indian actor, Abhishek Bachchan. On the set, a spark of love flashed immediately between them, and in 2007, the lovers got married.
In 2010, the actress suddenly decided to abandon her career and took a 5-year-long sabbatical. In early 2011, everyone found out why — the couple was expecting a child. Given that Aishwarya was 38 years old at the time, the pregnancy was considered geriatric.
Many women in this situation would have preferred a C-section, but the actress chose a traditional birth and even refused to have anesthesia. According to one of her relatives, Rai wanted a normal delivery.
On November 16, beautiful Aardhya was born while Aishwarya was hit by a powerful wave of hatred. The photos of the former Miss World where she was 5 months postpartum caused a stir on social media.
Of course, there were those who defended the actress and said that people’s fixation on someone’s weight is disgusting. There were both ordinary social media users and famous fashion designers among them.
2012. Aishwarya is 39 years old.
It wasn’t easy for her to stay strong under social pressure. However, Aishwarya had always been known for living by her own rules and not paying attention to stereotypes. It was probably her integrity and positive outlook on life that helped her go through body shaming with dignity, and enjoy motherhood to the fullest.
When asked if she was depressed by the way society treated her, she confidently replied, “When I became a mother, it was the most beautiful feeling in the world. There were several hormonal changes within, but it didn’t change anything. There was never a point of self-doubt. I’m so happy in my own life with Aaradhya around and the positivity as well as clarity that I have in my head about myself. Nobody else is dictating or telling me how to be and what to do.”
At a comfortable pace, without trying to please fans or producers, Rai regained her former shape, and then began filming again. It took her 4 years.
In 2023, the Indian actress impressed everyone by a spectacular appearance in a Sophie Couture dress at the Cannes Film Festival. At the same event, she gave a short interview about how to feel comfortable in your own body and not to judge others and yourself.
“Don’t go around attaching your judgement on others who make their choices. I think that’s just the way it should be. It’s a free world: live and let live,” she said. “I think when people tend to do that, it probably stems from insecurity. If you’re comfortable in your skin, and you’re comfortable being you, you really wouldn’t even expend that energy in being judgmental. It’s as simple as that.”
It is nice to see that despite the troubles Aishwarya had to go through, she didn’t lose her positive outlook on life. By the way, so did another famous Indian beauty, Priyanka Chopra, who faced serious criticism because she had her baby via surrogate.
Preview photo credit Dinodia Photos / Alamy Stock Photo, AFP/EAST NEWS, Vianney Le Caer/Invision/East News
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