Some people dream, some don’t, or at least they don’t remember doing so.
But do dreams mean anything? Well, while people are convinced dreams are a form of messages received by forces we are unable to see or feel while wide awake, some scientists claim that dreams are simply a result of neuronal processes taking place within our brain.
While we are asleep, our brains are anything but.
Sometimes, dreams happen as a reflection of the day that passed, and other times they represent our fears. But what does it mean when we dream of a deceased person?
These dreams can be seen as part of the process of grieving or a transition that takes place in our own life. According to Healthline, it has to do with the latter.
These dreams are common when we experience certain changes, such as getting a new job, moving places, or meeting someone new.
What is most important than the dream itself, however, is how it make us feel.
Rubin Naiman, who has a Ph.D. in psychology, spent years of his life studying sleep patterns and habits. According to him, “Dream interpretation is about decoding the dream. It enlightens us and expands our awareness psychologically, [offering an] expansion of consciousness.”
So, dreaming of someone who is no longer alive may be related to the changes mentioned above and how those changes affect us.
”A lot of contemporary neuroscientists believe during REM sleep, the brain is involved in maintenance tasks, and it accidentally ‘kicks up dust,’ visually. At that end, dreaming is considered totally meaningless.” On the other hand he explains, “The other end is that dreaming is more substantial than waking. And we see this in ‘dream cultures,’ such as the indigenous people of Australia, who believe dreaming is intrinsic to our spiritual existence.”
Experts place these dreams into four categories.
- First, dreaming of a deceased person may be interpreted as the brain trying to work through the pain of the loss.
- If we hadn’t made amends with the deceased person before their passing, we may feel guilt and that might be the reason why they visit us in our dreams.
- According to Lauri Loewenberg, a dream analyst, we may be dreaming of a deceased person if we see some of their behaviors, such as substance abuse or else, in ourselves.
- There are experts who believe that these dreams represent a visitation from the deceased person, especially if we see them in a good condition in our dream, meaning they are well dressed or seem happy. If we feel good about the dream, it may mean that the deceased person says ‘Hello.’
No matter what we feel about dreams, the truth is that they offer something deep and meaningful. They often give us insight into the soul and our connection with the deceased person that we see in our dreams.
My 32-Year-Old Son Threw a Wild Birthday Party at My House and Nearly Destroyed It
When my son asked to throw his birthday party at my place, I said yes without thinking twice. But the next day, when my house was in ruins and my heart in pieces, my 80-year-old neighbor knew exactly what to do.
You never expect your own child to treat you like a stranger. But somewhere along the line, that’s exactly what happened with Stuart. I used to think maybe it was just the years of growing up, moving out, and being busy.
A young man smiles while laying on a couch. | Source: Midjourney
I tried not to take it personally. But deep down, I missed the boy who used to bring me daisies from the garden and help me carry groceries without being asked.
When he called — rare as that was — I didn’t expect anything more than the usual quick check-in. But that day, his tone was almost… warm.
“Hey, Mom,” he said. “I was wondering. My place is kind of cramped, and I wanted to throw a party for my birthday. Nothing crazy. Just a few friends. Could I use your house?”
A house at night | Source: Midjourney
My heart did this little leap it hadn’t done in years. I should’ve asked more questions or just said no. But all I heard was my son reaching out. I said yes.
“Of course,” I told him. “I’ll be at Martha’s anyway, so you’ll have the place to yourselves.”
I didn’t hear any loud music that night. Martha’s house was a good walk away from mine, and her garden and trees muffled most sounds.
A big estate surrounded by trees | Source: Pexels
I spent the evening helping her with her crossword puzzle and watching some old cooking show reruns.
She fell asleep in her recliner, and I curled up with a blanket in the guest room, hoping my son was having a nice time with his friends and that maybe things could change.
Maybe Stuart and I would get back to what we used to have.
I was wrong.
A woman in her 50s with a small smile | Source: Midjourney
The morning air was brisk when I stepped out of Martha’s back door. Her caretaker, Janine, was brewing coffee, and I waved goodbye, promising to bring back her glass casserole dish later.
My boots crunched softly along the gravel path as I walked home. A minute later, I saw the front of my house.
I stopped mid-step.
My front door was barely hanging on its hinges, twisted like someone had kicked it in. One of the front windows was shattered clean through.
A completely destroyed front door | Source: Midjourney
There was also burn damage on the siding, which I couldn’t figure out, and my chest tightened.
I picked up my pace, then broke into a run.
Inside was worse.
The cabinet my husband built before he passed was burned, and a chunk was missing from its side. Dishes were smashed all over the kitchen floor.
My hand-embroidered couch cushions were torn, and beer cans, broken glass, and ash littered everything.
Cans and glass shards scattered across a living room floor | Source: Midjourney
I stood frozen, keys still in my hand, wondering how a bunch of 30-somethings could wreck the place like this.
Then I saw the note.
It was sitting casually on the counter, folded in half, with a message scribbled in Stuart’s handwriting.
“We had a bit of a wild party to say goodbye to our youth. You might need to tidy up a little.”
I didn’t scream. I didn’t cry at that moment. I just dropped my keys on the floor, got my phone out, and started dialing his number. It went straight to voicemail.
A worried woman using the phone | Source: Midjourney
I tried calling again, knowing he wouldn’t listen to any messages. Finally, I had to leave him a message.
“Stuart,” I said into the phone, trying to keep my voice even but not managing at all. “You need to call me. Right now. What happened here?”
I called again.
By the tenth time, I was sobbing.
A woman with a heartbroken expression | Source: Midjourney
“Stuart! You can’t ignore me after what you’ve done! How could you?! This is the house I worked so hard to pay off and raised you in after your father died! If you don’t fix this, I swear I will sue you for every penny! Do you hear me?! I’ll sue!”
After leaving that message, I slumped to the floor, breathing roughly.
My knees felt weak, and my hands were shaking.
I closed my eyes to avoid staring at the place I’d kept up for 20 years, which now looked like one of those apocalypse movies Stuart used to watch.
A woman resting against a wall, breathing heavily with her mouth open | Source: Midjourney
I don’t know how long I sat there, surrounded by the mess. But when my breathing normalized, I stood and grabbed a dustpan from under the sink to begin sweeping broken glass, one jagged shard at a time.
Around an hour later, through the shattered window, I spotted Martha walking up the drive with her caretaker. She’d always walked in the mornings, arm linked with Janine, moving slowly but steadily.
Today, she froze.
An elderly woman and nurse with shocked expressions | Source: Midjourney
She looked at my house like she was seeing a corpse.
“Martha?” I said, stepping outside and brushing glass from my sweater. My voice cracked. “It’s… It’s bad. I let Stuart throw a party, and he trashed it. It’s a whole mess. I might not be able to come over for afternoon tea.”
Her eyes didn’t blink for a long moment. Then she placed a hand on my shoulder.
“Oh, my dear Nadine,” she said, her voice low with a kind of quiet, rising anger. “You absolutely need to come over later. We have to talk.”
An elderly woman with an upset expression | Source: Midjourney
I nodded, though I wasn’t sure what there was to talk about.
With a final nod, she turned and walked back the way she came with Janine.
A few hours later, I walked back along the same path, the long way to Martha’s estate, wiping dust from my pants and trying to look like someone who hadn’t cried all morning.
When I reached her big front door, Janine opened it with a small smile and let me in.
A grand front door | Source: Pexels
Martha was seated in her favorite wingback chair with a cup of tea balanced on her saucer. She nodded warmly at me. “Have a seat, Nadine. I’ve asked Stuart to come as well. He’ll be here any moment.”
I wasn’t sure my son would come, but true to her word, I heard the low growl of a car engine outside just a minute later.
I should’ve known. Stuart had always coveted Martha’s wealth and her house. Of course, he came running for her, while my voicemails and calls were ignored.
A man walking up a driveway, smiling | Source: Midjourney
My son strutted in, wearing sunglasses and sporting a confident smile. “Hey, Martha,” he said cheerily. “You wanted to see me?”
“Sit,” she said, gesturing to the empty couch.
He dropped onto it with a bounce, looking only at Martha while I stared daggers into his face.
Before I could say anything, my dear neighbor began speaking. “I’ve made a decision,” she started, folding her hands in her lap. “It’s time for me to move into a retirement community. I’ve resisted long enough, and Janine’s been helping me find a good one.”
People at a retirement facility | Source: Pexels
Oh, no. I was truly going to miss her.
Stuart sat up straighter. “Oh wow, yeah? That’s a big step.”
She nodded. “It is. I was going to sell the house. But then I thought, no. I’d rather give it to someone I trust.”
My son’s eyebrows shot up. He knew, just as I did, that Martha had no family left.
“I wanted to give my house to you, Stuart.”
An elderly woman sitting in a wingback chair, looking serious | Source: Midjourney
He jumped to his feet. “Are you serious?! Martha, that’s… that’s incredible! Thank you! I mean, wow, this place is amazing.”
Martha raised a hand.
“But,” she continued, and the room went still, “after I saw with my own eyes what you did to your mother’s house and the state she was in this morning… I’ve changed my mind.”
An elderly woman sitting in a wingback chair, looking serious and raising a finger | Source: Midjourney
My son froze.
Martha’s gaze moved to me. She reached out and laid a soft hand over mine but continued speaking to Stuart.
“I’m giving it to her… and the majority of my estate when I pass, so she doesn’t have to worry about money again.”
Stuart’s mouth fell open. “Wait—what?! No! We just had a bit of fun last night,” he sputtered, his voice rising with each word. “We didn’t do anything that couldn’t easily be repaired or cleaned up! C’mon, Martha, you know me. I swear, this is just a misunderstanding.”
A man yelling in a living room | Source: Midjourney
“You’d better lower your voice in my house, young man,” Martha stated firmly.
He took a step back and breathed deeply before trying to speak again. “Please… I can explain,” he started, but Martha’s hand came up again.
“No, I’ve made my decision,” she said, even more serious now. “And honestly, after what you pulled, I’m glad I never had kids of my own.”
An elderly woman sitting in a wingback chair, raising a hand | Source: Midjourney
The room went quiet after that statement, which floored me, to be honest.
I had talked to Martha several times about her life. I’d asked if she regretted not building a family to focus on making money. She never outright said she would change anything, but sometimes, her tone was wistful.
I always thought she had some doubts, but now, I knew differently. Her voice was final.
After a minute of awkward silence, my son transformed.
A man with angry eyes in a living room | Source: Midjourney
“Fine! Keep your stupid money!” he shouted, looking between us with angry, hateful eyes. “I don’t need it! I don’t need either of you!”
Then he stormed out, slamming the heavy front door behind him.
Once again, silence fell. It was different, though. The tension was gone.
But I still stared at my hands, rubbing my fingers to keep from crying, and after a second, I met Martha’s eyes.
“I don’t know what to say,” I whispered.
A woman staring sadly at someone in a living room | Source: Midjourney
She smiled gently. “You don’t have to say anything, Nadine. You earned it. You’ve been the most beautiful friend I could’ve had over the decades. No one deserves it more than you.”
I nodded and couldn’t stop myself from crying this time. But I wasn’t sure if they were happy tears or not.
I’d just received the biggest gift of my life, and even though I was so appreciative, my son had just treated me horribly.
I couldn’t be fully happy with that knowledge. I had not raised him to be that way. But there was nothing I could do right then.
So I’d have to settle for enjoying this moment… bittersweet as it was.
A woman staring thoughtfully to the side in a living room | Source: Midjourney
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