An affluent man becomes displeased with being seated next to a corpulent woman in first class and begins to voice his complaints to the flight attendant.
The instant James Courtney spotted the woman seated beside him on the flight, he knew it was going to be a rough one. She was enormous! With her seated next him, how in the world was he going to travel in comfort?
The woman took a seat, jabbing at James with her elbow as she fastened her seat belt. “Observe it!” She turned to face James as he aggressively yelled at her.
She sobbed, “Oh, I’m so sorry. Please pardon me.”
“Pardon me?” sarcastically questioned James. Or pardon the three thousand doughnuts you consumed to reach that weight?
The woman gave him a startled gasp, and James noticed that she was rather young with a weak but sweet face. He was inspired to scoff, “Lady, you need to book TWO seats when you travel!”
The woman’s eyes welled up with tears, but James was in the mood, especially after noticing how cheap and dated her clothes were and how worn out her shoes were.
“I assume your entire budget goes on nachos and hot dogs, right?” he asked. So you’re not able to afford two seats? The next time you pass the hat, I’m sure everyone on the plane will be quite giving!
The woman turned to face the window, and James saw the tears streaming down her cheeks in the reflection. He said, “Listen.” “I’m sure my friend who owns a clinic down in Mexico would give you a liposuction for a lot less money!”
By the time James felt his discomfort from being pressed up against her soft weight had subsided, the young woman’s shoulders were quivering with sobs. He thus requested a Martini when the bartender arrived with the drinks cart.
In his best James Bond voice, he said, “Shaken, not stirred,” and then, “I don’t know what Moby Dick here will drink.”
The attractive attendant gave him a snide look while pressing her lips together tightly. Next, she spoke to the woman seated beside her. “Madam, what would you like to drink?”
With a nod, the woman dabbed at her eyes. “Please, give me a diet Coke.”
James sneered. “Don’t you think a diet Coke would be a little late in the game?” Though James felt a slight glow upon realizing he’d upset both the flight attendant and the woman, they both chose to ignore him.
While the woman next to him sipped her diet Coke, he reclined and bit on an olive and sipped his Martini. With a shudder, he realized she would eventually need to use the restroom and would be squeezing by him.
Shortly after he had finished his last drink, the flight attendant arrived carrying food. She placed a lovely tray in front of him and another one in front of the passenger next him.
“Are you certain that will suffice?” The flight attendant was asked by James, “Why do you think it would take a village to feed this lady?”
Disregarding him, the flight attendant continued serving the other first-class customers. “She really was impolite, wasn’t that?” James questioned the person seated beside him, saying, “I think I’ll complain about her.”
However, the other traveler disregarded him as well, and James proceeded to enjoy the genuinely superb meal. When the flight attendant returned, he was finishing the last of his wine, and she was beaming.
“Pardon me,” she began. “The captain would love to have you come up to the cockpit. He’s a big fan.”
After being startled, James noticed that the large woman sitting next to him was being spoken to by the flight attendant. She was flushing, nodding, and smiling. This implied that James needed to stand up and give her space.
After guiding the woman off of the aircraft, James resumed his seat. He expected to be forwarding a good deal of venomous emails concerning the first class service and conditions on the company’s flights to the management.
When the captain’s voice came over the speakers, he was mentally crafting some great diatribes. “Ladies and gentlemen,” he said. One of us is a celebrity! You will recognize the voice if, like me, you are an avid listener of “I Love Opera.”
When a beautiful voice began singing a few bars of a well-known aria in the cabin, the other passengers began to applaud and make joyful comments to one another. “That’s correct,” declared the captain. “We’re flying with the lovely Miss Allison Jones to perform a charity concert for world hunger.”
James winced as the entire aircraft broke into spontaneous applause. The flight attendant then approached. “Listen up, buster,” she replied in a harsh, icy tone. “I’m putting you in economy if you upset that girl again, no matter how many millions you have.”
James noticed the sparkle in the flight attendant’s eye as he opened his mouth to object. “I apologize,” he muttered.
“You don’t have to apologize to me!” said she.
After some time, Allison Jones, the large woman, reappeared, grinning and signing autographs for the other travelers. James shot to his feet to give her room to sit.
He smiled his most endearing smile and said, “Listen.” “I apologize if I offended you a little; I didn’t know who you were.”
James saw that Allison had the most stunning eyes when she turned to face him. It makes no difference who I am. Never, ever treat someone that way! Furthermore, you’re not sorry. If I wasn’t sort of famous, would you even be saying sorry? I mean, I can’t control my weight, but you can alter your mindset. Give up passing judgment on others.
James stopped talking, lowered himself back into his chair, and remained silent until their arrival in Portland.
Golden Globes Gets Skewered As “New Low”
As Hollywood studios continue to see movie after movie fIop with audiences who want to be entertained by a compelling storyline rather than preached to by woke directors or shown CGI slop with no reaI plot, the Golden Globes this year were yet another humiliating disaster for the entertainment industry.
In fact, even sympathetic media outIets torched the Golden Globes, saying that they were mostly a disaster this year.
This year’s flop of a Golden Globes event was particularly bad for the industry given that, having been taken over from NBC by CBS, it was meant to be something of a reboot for the awards party and bring back a show generally known over the past few years for its declining ratings, if anything.
But rather than a revivaI, it was another flop for Hollywood, with even generally sympathetic media outlet Vanity Fair running a review of the event titled, The 2024 Golden Globes Were a Near-Total Disaster. Continuing, that review went on to describe host Jo Koy’s lengthy opening monologue as a horrid, sophomoric mishmash of lazy jokes” that didn’t elicit much laughter, a problem exacerbated by Koy being mostly unknown.
Similarly, the Iess sympathetic New York Post tore into the event as being a new low for an already troubled show, with a review article titled, Golden Globes 2024 were a new low for dying awards shows. Pulling no punches, the NYP article argued that it would have been better to cancel the event than run one so awful, saying:
Preparing for the 2024 Golden Globes, the awards show made a bunch of reforms to its ethically wobbIy voting body, got a new owner and moved to a different network. But none of those PR efforts matter much when the broadcast turns out as godawful as Sunday night’s did.
If only we’d 100% canceled the Globes when we had the chance.
Conservatives on X were simiIarly harsh. Washington Examiner personality Tim Young, for example, tore into the Golden Globes with a vengeance and said, “The Golden Globes had trash ratings… Perhaps people don’t want to tune in to woke, unfunny jokes about how white people are evil. Maybe their host should lecture at Harvard… I’m sure he’d be a hit there.”
Other posters noted that Jo Koy was a terrible host, saying things Iike “#GoldenGlobes Jo Koy is a terrible comedian, watching him tell jokes is so excruciating” and “i turned on the golden globes and had to turn it off bc the host is terrible.”
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