According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
I Finally Introduced My Man to My Sister but It Turned out Nothing like I Expected
IN AN ASTONISHING TWIST, OLIVIA UNCOVERED HER BOYFRIEND’S SECRET RELATIONSHIP WITH HER SISTER. THIS LED TO A DRAMATIC CONFRONTATION THAT EXPOSED HIS DECEPTION TO THE WORLD. THEIR STORY OF BETRAYAL AND SISTERLY BONDING QUICKLY BECAME INTERNET FODDER.
Life is full of unexpected turns, especially when you least anticipate them. Hi, I’m Olivia. After years of feeling alone, I finally thought I’d found happiness. His name was Sam—charming, attentive, and genuinely interested in everything I had to say.
We clicked on a deep level, and for the first time in ages, I felt genuinely happy. He seemed like someone special, someone who could become family one day.
Family means the world to me, especially my sister, Jackie. She’s not just a sibling; she’s been a second mother to me. After we lost our mom, Jackie held our family together, making countless sacrifices without a second thought.
That’s why introducing Sam to Jackie was so important to me. It wasn’t just a formality; it was a significant step, and I needed her approval.
The perfect opportunity arose during one of Jackie’s biggest events—her regional dance competition. The atmosphere was electric, filled with music and applause.
I arrived early, a bundle of nerves and excitement. I couldn’t wait to see Jackie perform, always a treat, and today, Sam would finally meet her. He promised he’d be there.
Jackie was breathtaking on stage, every move telling a story, her emotions evident in every leap and turn. As the crowd cheered at the end of her performance, pride swelled within me. She looked radiant as she approached me.
But then, everything changed. Sam rushed in, slightly out of breath and full of apologies. “I’m so sorry I’m late, Olivia,” he gasped.
Before I could respond, Jackie spotted him. Her face lit up in a way that puzzled me at first, then alarmed me. She bypassed me and threw herself into Sam’s arms. “You made it!” she exclaimed, turning back to me with a bright smile. “This is my sister, Olivia,” she said, as if introducing me at a party.
Everything seemed to freeze around me. “Jackie, you know Sam?” I managed to choke out, my voice barely audible over the continuing applause.
Jackie’s eyes widened in surprise as she looked from Sam to me. “You know him too?” she exclaimed, genuine astonishment in her voice. Her arms were still around him, but her smile faltered as she sensed something was amiss.
My stomach dropped. The betrayal hit me like a ton of bricks, but it wasn’t from Jackie—she was as clueless as I had been. “He’s been seeing both of us, Jackie. He never mentioned you,” I forced out, the words heavy with heartache.
Sam’s eyes darted nervously between us, guilt etched on his face. “Olivia, Jackie, I… I’m so sorry. I didn’t know how to…” he trailed off, unable to finish.
Jackie slowly pulled away from Sam, stepping back as reality sank in. Her expression shifted from surprise to hurt as she absorbed the revelation. “But, Sam, I thought…” her voice trailed off, the pain evident.
Realizing that Sam had deceived us both, especially without Jackie’s knowledge, intensified the pain. As the applause continued around us, I felt a hollow emptiness envelop me, leaving me more isolated than ever in the midst of the crowd.
Leaving the crowd, the noise, and the celebration at the dance competition felt like stepping into a void of silence. My mind was spinning. The fact that Sam had been with Jackie—my sister, my closest confidante—and neither of them knew about me shattered everything I thought was true. I felt betrayed, alone, and utterly devastated.
As I walked, shock turned into anger. How could Sam do this to us? How could he not see the damage he was causing? My trust in him shattered with every step. I needed answers, and I needed to confront him. I turned back, determination hardening within me.
I found Sam and Jackie talking quietly, a stark contrast to the earlier jubilant scene. “How long, Sam?” I demanded, my voice steady despite the turmoil inside. Jackie looked at me, confusion and pain evident in her eyes. She was a victim too.
“It wasn’t supposed to happen like this,” Sam began, his voice wavering. “I started seeing Jackie after we met, but I didn’t know how to end things when I realized I was in too deep.”
I scoffed at his feeble excuse. “And you thought deceiving both of us would fix that?” The pain was overwhelming, but so was the clarity that accompanied it. Sam was a manipulator, and we were mere pawns in his game.
In the days that followed, my heartbreak fueled a desire for action. I couldn’t let Sam walk away, leaving a trail of broken hearts behind him. I had to expose him for who he truly was.
I reached out to others, initially to see if anyone else had experienced what Jackie and I had. What I discovered was a pattern so consistent it was chilling. Sam had left a string of deceived women in his wake, each with a story eerily similar to ours.
Together, we devised a plan. It was bold, dramatic, and it would show Sam the consequences of his actions. We called it the “Hall of Betrayal.” We invited Sam to an event under the pretense of reconciliation, but what awaited him was far from it.
The day of the event arrived. The venue was set, each detail carefully chosen to reflect the stories of those he’d wronged. As the women gathered, there was a sense of solidarity among us.
We were no longer isolated in our pain but united in our determination. We prepared a presentation, each woman ready to share her story. The room slowly filled, anticipation thick in the air.
Sam entered, looking confused but cautiously optimistic. His expression fell as he stepped into the main hall, greeted not by warm embraces but by a sea of familiar faces, none too pleased to see him. As he realized the true nature of the event, his confidence waned, replaced by a growing dread.
I took the floor first, my voice unwavering. “Welcome, Sam, to the Hall of Betrayal,” I declared, locking eyes with him. “Tonight, you’ll hear the stories you know so well, the ones you crafted. Each of us trusted you, and you chose to deceive us all.”
The room fell silent except for the voices of the women he’d hurt, each taking their turn. With each story, Sam’s face grew paler, the impact of his deceit laid bare for all to see. This was our moment of truth, and for Sam, a much-needed reckoning with the consequences of his actions.
The “Hall of Betrayal” was more than just a confrontation—it was a declaration. As each woman spoke, the room filled with the weight of truths finally being spoken aloud. I watched as Sam’s initial confusion turned into undeniable realization.
His charming facade crumbled, replaced by a somber, almost frightened expression. He looked small, overwhelmed by the sea of faces he had once manipulated.
Jackie and I stood together, a united front against the man who had tried to tear us apart. When it was our turn to speak, Jackie’s voice was steady, but I could sense the tremor of emotion beneath her words.
“We trusted you, Sam. You didn’t just play with our emotions, but with our sisterhood,” she said, her gaze steady. I followed suit, my words echoing hers, “You toyed with our lives, thinking you could keep it all hidden. Today, everyone knows the truth.”
The room erupted in a mix of applause and murmurs as our stories unfolded. Sam’s apologies, when they finally came, were drowned out by the collective voice of determination and rebuke from the women he’d wronged.
Reflecting on everything that transpired, I realized that our story was a lesson in trust and the damage caused by deceit. It taught me that while the truth may hurt, silence and lies are far more damaging.
Jackie and I, along with every woman involved, discovered our strength and the power of standing together. In the end, we turned a painful chapter into a story of empowerment and solidarity, a reminder that no one has to face betrayal alone.
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