Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
Please share this story with your friends and family if you think it was funny.
DOLLY PARTON’S SECRET LIFE: INSIDE HER COZY FARM WITH HUSBAND OF 57 YEARS
Dolly Parton, with a net worth of $500 million, and her husband Carl Dean, who prefers to stay out of the spotlight, live a peaceful life on a cozy farm. Instead of indulging in lavish luxuries, they choose a quiet and simple lifestyle away from the hustle and bustle.
In an interview with Entertainment Tonight, Dolly shared that keeping Carl out of the spotlight is a key reason their relationship has endured for so many years. They’ve remained close and content, enjoying their time together on their charming farm.
Dolly Parton says that her husband, Carl Dean, chose her, not her career, and she respects his wish for a quiet life away from the spotlight. Even though people often wonder about Dean because he rarely appears in public, Parton explains that he prefers staying out of the limelight to maintain his peace.
Their relationship is built on mutual respect. Parton values that Dean isn’t jealous of her success and is genuinely interested in her work. His encouragement has been important to her, and they make a great pair.
Dolly and Carl live a peaceful life on their farm. Dean has retired from his paving business, and they enjoy spending time together doing simple things. They go on RV trips, explore Tennessee and Kentucky, and stay at clean motels during their travels. Parton loves these moments, especially after finishing her music tours.
Despite her significant wealth, Parton focuses on enjoying her time with Dean. For their 55th wedding anniversary, they had a modest country dinner at home with a meal prepared by Parton, including chicken and dumplings and Dean’s favorite, pecan ice cream.
Parton also showed off their beautiful home in a YouTube series hosted by Reese Witherspoon. Though they had planned to renew their vows for their 50th anniversary, they celebrated with a simple country dinner instead.
While Parton still performs occasionally, she knows this will slow down as she gets older. For now, she treasures her quiet life on the farm with Dean, valuing their time together away from the public eye.
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